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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want to hear about cruise ship holidays.

403 replies

CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 11:13

My parents worked very hard, retired and like to go away on cruise ships.

For the last 15 years they have probably gone every nine months for at least a fortnight, often six weeks even did the epic round the world.

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus and other flu type bugs. The round the world one lost it's novelty. On the whole they have really enjoyed them, the social side, the whistle stop tours, the food.

We are happy for them, their money, they worked hard, their choices.

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Their vaccination has just given them fresh fuel along with the relentless marketing from the cruise companies.

AIBU to just not want to hear anymore about bloody cruises?

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 03/03/2021 13:26

@Kimye4eva

You sounds annoyed that they are spending your inheritance.
Not everyone thinks parents = inheritance, but if you do, I can see why you would assume everyone else is the same Smile
ConquestEmpireHungerPlague · 03/03/2021 13:27

People who love cruises are usually complete bores about them at the best of times, and anyone who wants to go on one in the time of Covid is off their rocker imo. So yanbu, OP. Tell them to bore off.

Ori21 · 03/03/2021 13:28

@Bluntness100

What is it you want op? Them to not tell you good things in their lives, or to give the money to you instead?

Not quite - she just doesn't want to hear about them all the sodding time.

Original poster
CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 13:31

@deplorabelle we're just on terms and conditions at the moment, but the clothes and the packing is always a whole other long running drama. 😁
My parents have at least 4 double wardrobes plus at least 12 double drawers of clothing plus what is vacuum packed under two double beds.

A big part of their cruising joy is picking out 'outfits' for cruise events.

But if they do manage to get on a boat before the department store changing rooms re open that will be another massive headache. I might point out the lock down weight gain /clothes dilemma next call. That's a whole new inspirational path.

OP posts:
nokidshere · 03/03/2021 13:32

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry. I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

There's no point getting angry. Other people's circumstances don't change yours.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

You either need to stop talking to them so often or learn the art of putting it on speaker, making positive noises now and then whilst completely ignoring them and doing something else.

Ori21 · 03/03/2021 13:35

@ConquestEmpireHungerPlague

People who love cruises are usually complete bores about them at the best of times

Yes to this. I have relatives who go on and on and on and.........well, on, about the cruises they've done and are intending to do. I wish them well and I'm pleased they're enjoying later life, but read the room FGS!!! But they don't, and then you're forced to watch endless video clips of them embarking/disembarking/and loads of other tourists embarking/disembarking..........

And on and on and on it goes. Here's us in such-and-such a town, beautiful weather, we went to a little cafe here, it was lovely. Oh, look!! Here we are in such-and such a town, beautiful weather again, we also went to a cafe here too. There's ten more stop-off's we did on this one trip alone, such an amazing cruise, we recorded ALL OF IT!"

Original poster
CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 13:36

@nokidshere I time phone calls for ten to 15 minutes before a tv programme I know they will want to watch, I literally hear their tone change as it gets closer and closer. Sadly, they are beginning to get the hang of catch up & iPlayer.

OP posts:
AMMCIAC · 03/03/2021 13:40

I understand where you are coming from OP. My in-laws went on cruise after cruise before Covid. I don't like my FIL at the best of times, as he is a rascist, sexist horrible little man. The worst thing was when I had just lost a baby when I was 16 weeks pregnant. He knew about this and said "Ah, these things happen... but anyway, you should have seen the dolphins, they were so close you could almost touch them..." and waffled on for half an hour about how wonderful his holiday had been. Insensitive idiot.

Original poster
CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 13:41

The inheritance thing isn't big in our family. Pre my parents no one had a pot to piss in so the idea of handing over money for university, cars, house deposits just isn't expected or has ever happened.

I suspect my parents will spend on holidays and new cars while they can, then care homes will take the rest.

I think I flagged up our circumstances to highlight we're not sipping champagne complaining that my parents are spending on Presecco.

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 03/03/2021 13:42

Here's us in such-and-such a town, beautiful weather, we went to a little cafe here, it was lovely. Oh, look!! Here we are in such-and such a town, beautiful weather again, we also went to a cafe here too. There's ten more stop-off's we did on this one trip alone, such an amazing cruise, we recorded ALL OF IT!"

That reminded me of this wonderful story Grin I mean, it's awful, but he did see the funny side.

StarCat2020 · 03/03/2021 13:44

Show them the latest P & O Cruises......

StarCat2020 · 03/03/2021 13:44

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-56263813

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/03/2021 13:45

What is it you want op? Them to not tell you good things in their lives, or to give the money to you instead?

My very thought Hmm

TBF though I'm also getting sick of hearing about them - I've been on many and my Inbox is stuffed with adverts every day, all of them reminding me that I can't yet go Sad

KonTikki · 03/03/2021 13:45

Cruise ship holidays are for the brain dead.
Ghastly things.

0blio · 03/03/2021 13:46

@Bluntness100

What is it you want op? Them to not tell you good things in their lives, or to give the money to you instead?
Yes this.
normalnormas · 03/03/2021 13:48

@KonTikki

Cruise ship holidays are for the brain dead. Ghastly things.
What holidays do you like to go on then @Kontiki, let's have the chance to express our opinions on those.
daDUMdadaDUMdadaDUM · 03/03/2021 13:50

Cruises are the WORST, lowest form of holiday imaginable. After all of the Covid misery I honestly thought the cruise ship business would die. Anyone who goes on a cruise now should be ashamed of themselves for the environmental impact and they can’t complain if they become ill, are forced to stay on the ship with all the other ill people, or become stranded and have to live in filth and sewage and sweltering heat for days. I truly can’t believe people are still doing this.

So no OP YANBU. Even setting aside the dumpster fire that is a cruise ship your parents are being insensitive to your circumstances. If it were me I would probably just be passive-aggressive about it but the better thing is probably to take one of them aside and explain how it makes you feel. and that you will not under any circumstances come to their aid if they become stranded in their own feces.

Rockbird · 03/03/2021 13:51

YABVU. My parents are in their 70s and they love a Cunard ship. It's the only type of holiday they agree on and they've missed 5 potential trips during all this. I'd be delighted if they were able to get on a cruise this year, I want them to enjoy their life and they've had a rotten year like everyone else. They're very generous and helpful to us but it's their money to spend and I hope they do. It brings them so much happiness.

SOSGB · 03/03/2021 13:52

Are they not worried about Diamond Princess situations, there are several actually...
Even when the UK is vaccinated, the rest of the world will mostly not be.

Silvercatowner · 03/03/2021 13:53

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus

I can't really get past that phrase. Envy

Figgygal · 03/03/2021 13:55

Oh my god yes
Our finances have been reduced for months we have one child home from school and one still in nursery which needs paid for.
My parents don’t live locally to us but very close to my brother Who they are bubbled with and despite his wife being furloughed my parents are practically raising their children they are around there so much so that creates some frustration as we have been working through covid on our own for a year.
Best chance of a break for us this year will be five nights in Devon which I know a lot of people would still love so I’m not ungrateful for that but my parents have already booked three cruises for the next 18 months every time I speak to them they’re watching the Cruise channel, we were supposed to go and see them for my mum’s milestone birthday in the summer they’ve told us not to book anything because they might get a non-cruise holiday if restrictions are lifted. They haven’t seen our children in over a year

It’s just bloody tone deaf and I don’t want to hear about it anymore while we are struggling so have largely stopped calling

MintyMabel · 03/03/2021 13:56

People like cruises. The Cruise ship industry employs hundred of thousands of people and is on its knees. People will want to go on cruises again and so why shouldn't they continue to do that.

I'm not sure why you having kids sharing a room is relevant to their choice of holiday. You sound bitter that they have money and you don't.

People are being harsh - talking endlessly about something the other person isn’t interested in is boring.

Isn't this just what we expect from our parents? MIL is always telling us things over and over again, about people she knows but we don't.
It is what it is. My mum will do similar things. There's more to this than that, though.

Velvian · 03/03/2021 13:57

I get very sick of 'I've worked hard all my life. The people that say that literally have not, they are well into their 30 retirement a lot of the time.

Couples often didn't both need to work full time. So it's usually bollocks if that comes out of someone's mouth.

I also think that it is, at least, insensitive to bang on about holidays to your offspring who are often working harder for a lower standard of living than yourself.

You often hear 'well our first house was also...' - forgetting that they were 23 and it was under 2 x 1 salary, their child is 40 and the house is 5 x 2 salaries. It is a diversion tactic, because the disparity is obvious.

MintyMabel · 03/03/2021 13:57

Even when the UK is vaccinated, the rest of the world will mostly not be

If her parents are vaccinated, what's the problem?

Original poster
CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 13:57

@JesusInTheCabbageVan that little film is wonderful, I felt quite tearful. The dad is so happy, all the time, just sat there, looking out, even the hail doesn't faze him.

I think my parents are probably not very nice people at heart. They would have blamed me for lending them complicated electronics, moaned about the perfectly lovely people in the background playing cards. Talked about the grey skies and featureless landscape. Worked out how they would have designed the stations so that there was better views for their convenience.

My greatest act of teen/ mid life rebellion is to not be like them, DH & my DDs are a funny, calm bunch.

OP posts: