To think I'm the biggest fucking mug that ever existed.

[sharpsobjects]

My ex got back in touch. He claimed to have realised he fucked stuff up with us, still loved me, blah blah.

2 months later he asked to borrow some money from me because he lost his job due to COVID.

I just found out it was for child maintenance. The mother? The woman he cheated on me with when we were together.

I feel sick. I'm a fucking idiot.

You aren't a mug, just trusting and soft hearted. And much as you dislike the woman, would you really want her children to go hungry because they have horrible parents?

Chalk it up to experience and don't get fooled again.

You not an idiot. But use this as a hard lesson learnt, and to block this loser everywhere and move onwards and upwards.

You’re *

You are not an idiot.
He is an idiot.
X1000

I'm so sorry that happened. You're not an idiot, you're a caring person who got sucked in by a shit of a man. Lesson learned so just let it go and forgive yourself.

How much??

In total £400.

@Confusedandshaken

You aren't a mug, just trusting and soft hearted. And much as you dislike the woman, would you really want her children to go hungry because they have horrible parents?

Chalk it up to experience and don't get fooled again.

Very well put. As others have said you are not a mug, just kind hearted.

You're not a mug, far from it, you are kind-hearted and like to see the best in people. Don't beat yourself up about being taken in by this man.

Will it cause you pain financially?

And thanks to everyone for being nice. But I hate myself. I've had mental health problems for a long time and lockdown has made them worse. This is just the cherry on top.

Not going to lie to make you feel better (no point in that), that was a bad decision and you should have known better.
But we all act like idiots. Did you sleep with him as well as give him money?

I'm a student so can't afford to lose the money. His family are millionaires. He lives in his parents' back garden. I'm just the mark who's easier to get stuff from.

Well she likely saw the real him and dumped him... A bit of comfort surely?

Well, the good thing is that this will never happen again.

Will it?

Any hope of him repaying this loan, or will you have to write it off?

Stop it. You're a nice woman who made a mistake.

Big deal. You got screwed over - that doesn't make you the bad one.

Read 'Ghosts' by Dolly Alderton. She fucked up too. Everyone does, maybe not all in this exact way, but in other ways.

Its going to be all right - better in fact, now that he's out of your life for good.

Ask for it back. Hint that it's a shame his parents dont know about it. Maybe that way he'll pay up.

You are a completely normal person who did what many other completely normal people would have done, had they been in the same position.

Learn the lesson, stop beating crap out of yourself, and move on. It's done.

Better it goes on child maintenance than anything else. Keep nagging him to get it back.

God he is vile

You were trying to help him

Put it behind you

Stay strong

You won't be fooled like this again
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Right kick him and then block him, you’ve done enough pleasing this selfish git,

He’s a knob. Write the money off and be glad it’s her who’s forever tied to him by a child and not you.

Please don't beat yourself up. You were being very kind and generous. Have a glass of wine/slice of cake/box of chocs and try not to linger on any negative thoughts. X

I don’t wish to be cruel, but yes, you were foolish to take back someone who had treated you badly and lend him such a large sum after a couple of months

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Do you have anything in writing to prove you loaned him this money?

Keep asking him for the cash back, don’t let him slope off with your £400.
It’s a harsh lesson but maybe £400 is the price of getting rid if him forever?