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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Had enough of my family. I've gone on strike!

399 replies

Glastonbury2020 · 22/01/2021 09:27

Locked down with DH and 4 teenagers. Apart from me, no one:

  • cooks any proper meals
  • loads/ unloads the dishwasher
  • puts a wash on
  • wipes kitchen surfaces/ cooker top
  • sweeps the floor
  • cleans the bathroom
  • makes lunch
I have had enough and I'm not doing it all anymore. Last night, I made myself a fish finger sandwich for dinner and ate it in my room. Ignored everyone when they wanted to know what was for dinner. This morning, I made breakfast for me and I'm now sitting in bed drinking tea. Rant over. Thank you for listening!
OP posts:
Paperyfish · 22/01/2021 09:29

Good for you

Dogscanteatonions · 22/01/2021 09:30

Stay strong!

starsinyourpies · 22/01/2021 09:30

Keep going!! Enjoy it!

Fortunefavours1 · 22/01/2021 09:30

You rock op. Hope they start pulling their weight.

Miramour · 22/01/2021 09:32

Stockpile food in your room, hijack the microwave and then lock your bedroom door. Do not cave in.

CareBear50 · 22/01/2021 09:32

Well done!! Keep it up

ConstantlySeekingHappiness · 22/01/2021 09:33

Go OP!!!!

tinselearedcow · 22/01/2021 09:37

Don't back down! Get some treats and snacks in and your favourite tipple if you drink, find something to binge watch and spend the weekend in your room.

tinselearedcow · 22/01/2021 09:38

Who voted YABU?!

Notnownotneverever · 22/01/2021 09:39

Sounds like things need to change in your house and soon.
Rotas spring to mind! 3 teens and all do some cooking and some cleaning. Not loads but enough to take some weight off me.
But ultimately I wanted to say I feel your pain and don’t put up with it. It also breeds bad habits in the teens becoming adults.
Good luck OP.

Thunderfoot · 22/01/2021 09:39

Fantastic! Keep us updated. Don't back down!

Original poster
Glastonbury2020 · 22/01/2021 09:41

You support will keep me strong! 💪🤣

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2021 09:42

How old are the teens op? Have you previously asked them to help? Just wondering if it's genuinely an everyone problem or a DH problem.

Enjoy your cuppa 😁

user1471462428 · 22/01/2021 09:43

My childhood sweethearts mum got cancer while her boys were teens and couldn’t do everything round, rather than go into care they learnt everything. She ran a command centre from her bed. They both turned into lovely men who she was extremely close to till her death.

Sometimes they need a push into realising they have to been independent!

carrotcake124 · 22/01/2021 09:44

Totally support you going on strike but also would not of let it go so far.

My teenager 13 does his own breakfast and lunch. As does my DH.

I sometimes do the dishwasher but I also ensure I ask my teen to do it.

My teen does his own laundry and bedding and cleans his bathroom. Yes he needs to be nagged a bit but he's used to it.

DH and I both work full time so we share out housework and he probably does more than me because I work longer hours

SquirtleSquad · 22/01/2021 09:45

Do they know why?

Sexnotgender · 22/01/2021 09:45

Create a rota.

We have a whiteboard in the kitchen. DD (17) would do bugger all if left to her own devices.

On a daily basis she must walk the dog by 10am.
Empty the recycling 3 times per week.
Hoover one room - I let her know.
And she clears up after dinner including wiping down the surfaces.

JemimaTiggywinkle · 22/01/2021 09:47

Have they noticed yet?

whaa · 22/01/2021 09:47

Oh well done! Have felt like doing this many times, never quite done it! Have just refused to was ds clothes because they are all over the floor near, to in, the wash basket, and now he has no clean pants. Hoping he’ll actually pick them up ( never mind actually put the damn stuff in the machine) he’s 13. Should he be doing his own washing?
Hoping some wise people come on with more tips!

Neolara · 22/01/2021 09:50

Stay strong!

In an earlier lockdown, I bought Jamie Oliver's new book, 7 Ways. It's uncomplicated recipes with normal, easily found food. Now I make each of the 3 kids choose one meal a week that they are responsible for cooking. If I'm organised, I write whose cooking what and when on the whiteboard to stop anyone weaseling their way out of their turn to cook. It's working well so far.

Anoisagusaris · 22/01/2021 09:50

My 6 year old gets his own breakfast! As do the older kids. Can’t believe you are making breakfast for teens.

Mine do very little else except make a mess so I’m not boasting.

Sexnotgender · 22/01/2021 09:51

@whaa my daughters pocket money is linked to her chores.
£40 basic pocket money.
Every chore not done is a 25p fine. If chore still isn’t done the next day it doubles to 50p and so on. If she keeps her fines under £3 for the month her pocket money doubles to £80 minus the fines obviously.

Iwonder08 · 22/01/2021 09:51

Well done!

Sophiesdog2020 · 22/01/2021 09:52

Yep rotas are the thing, and not doing everything yourself!

Mine are 23 and 20.5. DS finished uni in lockdown 1, was doing a retail job till Dec, now a grad job from his bedroom. DD is on an extended gap year (managed to go volunteering in autumn 19 but further travel scuppered) working in retail and planning uni in next year or 2.

DH and I WFH since March, kids were in and out with different shifts from April to Dec, and DD still so.

We started a rota in lockdown 1 for meals (what/when, sometimes eating up pre cooked freezer meals. DD went veggie a year ago and to her credit cooks quite a lot for us all, sometimes with one of us), emptying dishwasher and walking the dog (which everyone but me desperately wanted!).

We have a cleaner but she didn’t come in lockdown 1 and we have stopped her again in this lockdown, so again everyone is expected to help.

We still have the rota sheet each week, sometime dog walks don’t get fully filled in but get done adhoc, but there is an unspoken ‘everyone mucks in’ rule.

2me2u2u2me · 22/01/2021 10:01

@Sophiesdog2020

Yep rotas are the thing, and not doing everything yourself!

Mine are 23 and 20.5. DS finished uni in lockdown 1, was doing a retail job till Dec, now a grad job from his bedroom. DD is on an extended gap year (managed to go volunteering in autumn 19 but further travel scuppered) working in retail and planning uni in next year or 2.

DH and I WFH since March, kids were in and out with different shifts from April to Dec, and DD still so.

We started a rota in lockdown 1 for meals (what/when, sometimes eating up pre cooked freezer meals. DD went veggie a year ago and to her credit cooks quite a lot for us all, sometimes with one of us), emptying dishwasher and walking the dog (which everyone but me desperately wanted!).

We have a cleaner but she didn’t come in lockdown 1 and we have stopped her again in this lockdown, so again everyone is expected to help.

We still have the rota sheet each week, sometime dog walks don’t get fully filled in but get done adhoc, but there is an unspoken ‘everyone mucks in’ rule.

@Sophiesdog2020 and those of you that have rotas, do you print something off and put it on the wall and each do a chore(s) a day?

Me and my partner have just bought a house and about to move in with 2 x 20 year olds, it's a big house and I want everyone to muck in and wondering how I sort this from the get go.

thanks