To be horrified at how ugly I look

[MiaMarshmallows]

In photos?
I am in my fifties now but I am in tears as to how ugly I look. Huge pointy nose, fat cheeks, lank hair, always look like I am gurning and just downright vile. Almost like a distorted photo when you change it to make yourself look awful. Well, I just do it naturally.
Trying to get a job and it requires a photo. Fat chance. They will be too busy laughing. 😐

Have you ever in your life known someone who felt this way about how they looked, and really was that utterly hideous?

Honestly, I think I would prove you wrong on that score, I would post the photo but I deleted them for obvious reasons. Just can't believe I go around looking like that.

Pluck your eyebrows/pencil them in
Mascara
Dry shampoo to perk up hair
Gloss/Vaseline on lips
Great lighting
Photo taken slightly from above
Suck in cheeks, slight smile
Filter filter filter

I could have written the same post about me OP Maybe use the suggestions above.

@MiaMarshmallows

Honestly, I think I would prove you wrong on that score, I would post the photo but I deleted them for obvious reasons. Just can't believe I go around looking like that.

Of course you think that, but that's not what I'm asking. You have surely heard other women say the same thing, feeling exactly as you do. They might not have been supermodels but were any of them really so utterly repellent?

Not your age but I can relate! Tricks you can use- Babyliss big hair and hair growth products, facial yoga, there are nose straightening devices on eBay that flatten your nose. I used to wonder why some elderly people walked around vaguely smiling- it’s to disguise resting bitch face and jowls! Anyway, a half smile does make you look more smiley. Remember, you are judging you against your best self- that image you have of how you “should” look. Nobody else (at work at least) is comparing you in that way. Looks matter for about ten minutes at work- then your personality and ability to do the job start to matter more. I find masks make me gurn- no idea why buts it’s really a thing! Never used to though!

I can honestly say I have never looked at another person and found them hideous.
Have you always felt like this?
I'm sure you look fine like most people do.

It doesn't matter how you look in reality because everyone at some stage feels ugly. I have been told by countless people over the years that I'm pretty etc but I have felt absolutely hideous for years and years. No matter what anyone says I think they're lieing (sp?).

It really is what's inside that counts, even if it is a cliche. So sorry you feel like this it's awful to feel this way every day about yourself.

What is the point of posting here when nobody has a clue what you look like? Taking a photo from above can be flattering so try that, or send them an old one!
Everyone has a good feature, nice eyes, smile , legs. Try to be positive and make the most of what you've got. Go for a walk!

I’m so sorry you feel like this!! I have felt as low as you until I met my DP and it kicked my anxiety up the butt.

I would look into CBT, it’s about stopping the nasty thoughts before you go down the rabbit hole of mental self destruction.

As other PP I bet you aren’t that bad looking, it’s might be worse in your head. Sending hugs

Oh im the same. Im the most unphotogenic person past or present and I'd confidently say future ever to waltz around the planet. Put it this was I'd never get a shag on tinder. Its a good job I met dp in the flesh.

Do you also find that like me everyone else seems to look gorgeous.

I hate it on here when people put pictures up saying "How old do you think I look or Oh I feel so ugly. "When they know quite well they're stunning and just fishing for compliments.
No one with confidence issues would be putting a picture of themselves on a world wide public site.

However it can also work the other way people can be highly photogenic but not exactly genetically blessed IRL.

Try taking the photo and flipping it. I don’t like pictures of me, but I think that is because I am used to looking at my mirror image rather than what everyone else sees.

I feel your pain! I look ok in the mirror but my image in photos or on Teams/zoom/FaceTime is just depressing. I look so old and sort of flat somehow. Ugh. No advice, just commiserating.

@MiaMarshmallows

Honestly, I think I would prove you wrong on that score, I would post the photo but I deleted them for obvious reasons. Just can't believe I go around looking like that.

I would put money that you don't look like that. I can take twenty photos of myself and one will come out ok. I look hideous in the others. I put that as my SM photo and my sister who is painfully honest will just "like" it it or say "nice top" or "your highlights look nice" or something. I trust her completely to tell me the truth and she would ring me and say "WTF are you doing with that photo Jan? You don't look like that!" So I conclude that I mostly look like the nice one but in certain positions my face looks chubby or I occasionally have an incredibly vacant or anxious expression because that's what the other twenty look like.

I have noticed that if I feel bad for some reason - a good example is if I've had an argument with my difficult/alcoholic parent - I can look at a photo of myself and think like that. I can look at the same picture in a different mood and think actually I look ok. I'm never going to think I look beautiful but honestly it's like the photo changes with my attitude to myself. Which it obviously doesn't.

What kind of job application requires a photo?

OK OP, I wouldn't say I look particularly gorgeous either, and I am the same age as you, but in stead of worrying about it, I just don't look in the mirror anymore! I also think about all of the friends I have that have died and think I'm just going to enjoy life anyway. Honestly people who love you love you anyway!

Wear light make up, take the photo from slightly above and use a filter!

@MiaMarshmallows

In photos? I am in my fifties now but I am in tears as to how ugly I look. Huge pointy nose, fat cheeks, lank hair, always look like I am gurning and just downright vile. Almost like a distorted photo when you change it to make yourself look awful. Well, I just do it naturally. Trying to get a job and it requires a photo. Fat chance. They will be too busy laughing. 😐

Grrrrr stop putting yourself down.

Bet you look nowhere NEAR as bad as you think!

@MiaMarshmallows Good luck getting a job.

Can you post your pic her btw, or would you rather not?

*here not her.

Why does the job need a photo? It's either racism or sexism or ageism or all of these.

@Wearywithteens

I’m the same - hate how I look. Can’t focus in zoom meetings because of the hideous gargoyle looking at me. I try to make the best but make up and hair products don’t make up for poor bone structure and crap features. There are very few photos of me over the years because I hate it.

No advice unfortunately just solidarity My only consolation is that my cynical kids love me and think I’m cool so I count my blessings.

I loathe seeing myself when I'm in a meeting too- why would anyone think that would be a good idea?

The good thing about zoom though is you can get rid of your video- right click on your image and choose "hide self view"

I saw a wonderful trick today. Take a selfie from far away but zoom in on your face. You can do this using Instagram stories, tiktok, Snapchat and the like. Taking a selfie from close distorts your face and makes you look hideous. I used a selfie stick and zoomed in and the difference was amazing! I don't post selfies anywhere, but it's nice to know I'm not as hideous as my phone thinks I am.

I applied for a police job and they asked for a photo.