To be horrified at how ugly I look

[MiaMarshmallows]

In photos?
I am in my fifties now but I am in tears as to how ugly I look. Huge pointy nose, fat cheeks, lank hair, always look like I am gurning and just downright vile. Almost like a distorted photo when you change it to make yourself look awful. Well, I just do it naturally.
Trying to get a job and it requires a photo. Fat chance. They will be too busy laughing. 😐

Photos are nearly always worse than real life. Practise in the mirror, like a teenager. You're bound to find a better angle eventually. And if you don't, well you'll have some funny photos for your efforts.

Don't feel down. Few of us are really that attractive in 2D, and for a job application it won't matter at all

@Acrasia

Try taking the photo and flipping it. I don’t like pictures of me, but I think that is because I am used to looking at my mirror image rather than what everyone else sees.

That's a really good tip.

I feel the same as you, I just look 'odd' in pictures. I do my best with hair and make up but avoid the camera, have never even taken a selfie.
What makes me sad is when I die there'll be hardly any record of me alive for the children (and future grandchildren) to look at. Certainly nothing with me and DC in over the years. Even if I managed to change my mindset now there's very little photographic history of me out there.

Luckily not had to apply for jobs with a picture.

Zoom has a filter. I'm not embarrassed to say I always have good lighting and put my laptop on a stand to make sure everyone can enjoy my best angle Be wary, however, of jobs that require photos. The worst part of Oxbridge admission back in the day was their photo requirement.

I bet you have great features other people would be envious of. I really couldn't tell you the name of a woman I consider ugly. We're all our own harshest critics. Everyone has taken a selfie that is not quite what we envisioned, but pictures don't look like 'us' because others view us in motion, from a broader angle, and see all of our proportions and. mannerisms etc. I have a small, nondescript nose and often wish I was 'cuter' and had a point to my nose. I have a bony, strong jawline - I wish I had a rounded, more feminine face. Both features I have others would want. It's a terrible mess of unnecessary self-criticism.

I feel like that about myself OP and I’m only 42. I need to put a bag on my head

Hi Op
Don't judge yoursf by our society very narrow skewed beauty ideals..

Och I’m the same - I battered the ugly tree back.

I’ve been described as ‘striking’. And not in a good way.

I don’t do photos. My mam took a sneak photo of me 20 years ago. I can’t pose ‘pretty’ so she though it would be better to do one by surprise.

She was wrong.

I looked like a gargoyle.

I have noticed that women will, almost invariably, pick out one or two of their less attractive features, and that is all they see. They think that they are hideous based on something that no one else even really notices. It becomes very much magnified in our minds, hence, in our eyes.

Men, now, MEN...those little rascals will pick out one half-decent feature in a sea of ugly and focus on that, convincing themselves that they are God's gift.

We should take a lesson from their book, and try to meet it halfway!

I have never looked at any women in real life and thought they were hideous seriously . And yet I sometimes think I look absolutely ugly as sin like deformed ugly can’t bare to look at myself . Refuse to socialise or have relationships . That bad

At the same time been “ asked out “ by numerous attractive men . The last BF I did have was a lovely / attractive man and thought I was insane to feel so insecure as do most people I know but honestly at times I feel like the most ugly person I have ever seen .

Had treatment for body dismorphia a while ago though which has helped . I know it’s mainly in my head

Anyway my point is you won’t be hideous at all you just sound down on yourself

for you op.
Thousands of people are not photogenic whatsoever,you are not alone.
A camera will not record your character,a beautiful smile,who you are,so try not to put too much emphasis is how a photograph looks,remember you are much better than that.

photos are 100% completely different from how you look irl!!

Oh and what makes it all worse it that we are a much more visual society than decades ago.

I am OK with myself in photos, but only if I know it's being taken. I HATE it when someone takes it without my knowledge/permission, coz they're trying to get a 'candid' pic.

Even so, although I don't mind being in photos, I HATE, LOATHE, and DETEST being on film/being videoed. I even hate facetiming on whatsapp. I look about 10 years older than I am (in my eyes!) And just a little bit pale and tired! The people I am speaking to, (DD and one of my 3 BFFs, or my DH usually,) say I look fine, but to me I don't look great. 😬

Oddly though, I think I look OK on photos. Not supermodel looks, but 'all right.'

Agree with @Kumquatsquash that selfies are awful (particularly if you're over 45.) They make your nose look bigger, and your eyes look odd (sometimes.)

Even if someone is young-ish, the nose looks bigger, and the eyes a bit odd, but over 45, you get all that AND high definition lines and wrinkles and blemishes. The lines and wrinkles and blemishes are small and barely noticeable usually, but on HD photos, they are magnified!!!

So as I say @MiaMarshmallows I bet you look nowhere near as bad as you think you do.

As @Laniwalks said, I have also never looked at any woman and thought 'fuck me, she's ugly.' So I genuinely believe that the women on here (who think they're ugly,) are NOT ugly at all.

Please don't be so hard on yourselves.

I rarely wear make-up and people seem to like me in person but I look awful in photos - piggy eyes, wodgy nose, droopy mouth (I also have RBF) but a friend did me up for fun and I couldn't believe the difference.

Obviously in-person make up demos are off at the moment but maybe if you post your colouring etc and the sort of look you want or even a photo if you feel up to it, some MNrs can recommend YouTube tutorials or something.

Stop invalidating the OP's view of herself. I too am hideous AND fat. It's not a matter of opinion and I'm not desperately sad, it's just true.

I had counselling for self-esteem issues, the counsellor said nobody would describe me as pretty or attractive, striking perhaps (like blow to the head perhaps?) She kindly suggested ‘jolie- laide’ like Gerad Depardieu ☹️. I went back for more sessions, well I have low self-esteem. Am sure you’ve never been compared to him?

I try to focus on being a better person inside. I would hate to be a young woman these days, impossible standards with filters and so many injections available to ‘improve’ one’s looks. I would have left my room.

@Grimble69

Oh and what makes it all worse it that we are a much more visual society than decades ago.

Yes indeed. And 90% (if not more,) of photos that you see (of celebrities,) are photoshopped. Some of them quite a lot!

Sorry meant to say my insecurity stemmed from seeing my self on photos especially candid ones I saw a particularly bad one and was like seriously I go about looking like this and it just set me off on a downward spiral . I just avoid photos now !! If you need a selfie for work try take the photo from slightly above while sort of tilting your head down . It’s hard to explain maybe google it there is a way we’re the angles make for a good photo

I'm really sad you feel that way about yourself. Think of someone you know that may not be considered as attractive as some...now, what makes them attractive? Because everyone has something that makes them attractive, their confidence, personality, kindness, they're funny etc. These are the important things and from my experience men prefer women with the above as opposed to someone 'attractive' who may not have all those. It is hard though I agree, in this society, where 'pretty' women get an easier ride. It is a cruel world sometimes.

@davros no one is trying to do that . Personally I was just trying to point out how your own perception can be really harsh on how you see yourself compared to what others see particularly in such a visual world as some else said . Ie Instagram and all the filters n perfect images we are constantly bombarded with

I'm not insecure and don't have low self esteem but I know I ain't no oil painting. It does happen!

Have you heard of body dysmorphic disorder OP? It sounds very likely you have it.

Bless you OP, I think as women is always see the negatives about our features never the positives.

Is there anything positive you like about yourself?

I think I want to halt some aspects of "progress" as it's decimating jobs in the West without any seeming Plan B for the resulting majority minus a living wage. H G Well's Time Machine might be more the Eloi in charge with the Morlocks as fodder..

I cant take a nice to save my life, even when I've made the effort.

I'm just not photogenic at all.