How to snare a decent English man? Are there any?

[WashedandDried]

As a foreign woman living here, I'm wondering about this. Thanks.

Is that you Megan??

Go to the nearest fish market and seduce him there with your Christmas cookies scented bumhole.

What's wrong with the Welsh?

As a foreign woman

I'm from foreignia originally too. Don't you miss the pasta/curry/tacos/borscht/crepes? And the lovely rolling hills/dessert/tropical beaches/elephants/traffic?

Dig a small pit, cover with branches and leaves and wait for an English man to fall in.
It is difficult to ensure that you have snared a decent one so you may have to release a couple back into the countryside before you get a good one.
To this end the siting of the pit is important so Chelsea and Knightsbridge are both fine locations.
Should you be after a 'country type' the Cotswolds can be a good starting point.
Good luck 🤞

No you use a cardboard box trap with a stick and string. Put a copy of Town and Country inside to catch a decent man. Or the Bible if you mean that type of decent. If you're not catching anything try a greggs steak bake and hope for the best.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles 😂😂

I may try this myself actually

Huge fan of the cotswolds so will try my luck next time I am down there

Lay a sprung net out on the floor and cover with leaves. Put something of interest in the middle of it, but be sure to attach a trip wire to it. Then an unsuspecting man will walk in, pick up the object and be hoisted into the air by the net, and you've got him.

Bonuses of doing it this way is that you can use the object as something you have in common. Imagine this - standing below the net and shouting up, "OMG, I like malteasers to". Excellent ice breaker.

at replies whilst looking for my spade and net.

Would you consider a man from Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland, or does he have to be English ?

@raddledoldmisanthropist

As a foreign woman

I'm from foreignia originally too. Don't you miss the pasta/curry/tacos/borscht/crepes? And the lovely rolling hills/dessert/tropical beaches/elephants/traffic?

Dying 😂😂

Sorry OP but it's not possible as they are all taken.

Get yourself up to Cumbria. One of them will club you and drag you back to his cave by the hair. This is a lot less work for you.

Wear a football strip and eau-de-lager.

I used to lasso them when I first arrived from overseas on my English Manhunt, but I kept being knocked over by other foreigners’ boomerangs, or Frenchwomen trapping them with Gauloise-scented strings of onions.

Stealth. Lots of stealth, and good running shoes.

@GetYourGoatYouHavePulled
I nearly wet myself!

Lurk near the gentlemen's relish and bath oliver display at Fortnum's? But check they didn't go to Eton before you pounce ... .

I followed the angel feathers right up to his door.

Stun gun.

I'm just here for the replies 😂

Always have a freshly poured pint and a meat pie about your person. They can't resist.

Upturned laundry basket, propped up with a stick and string tied to it. Place bacon under the basket, hide nearby, pull string at right moment.

Walk Land’s End to John O’Groats with a sandwich board.