How to snare a decent English man? Are there any?

[WashedandDried]

As a foreign woman living here, I'm wondering about this. Thanks.

[CounsellorTroi]

^^This. Would have been very happy with a Welshman had I not managed to snare a particularly good quality Englishman.

[amusedbush]

@Jeremyironseverything

Hang around some castles this winter. An Englishman and his castle and all that...

Hmm, that runs the risk of bumping into Dominic Cummings, though.

[WokesFromHome]

and their money WokesFromHome

Yes, they think they are all loaded and live in a mini stately home and someone like Patricia Hodge is going to open the door in a tweed suit and neckerchief. Imagine half their surprise when their English Gent takes them back to their semi on an estate in Wolverhampton to meet their mum who works in the bookies.

Living the dream.

[HelgaDownUnder]

@ApplePlumPie

Steak bake? What kind of horror are you trying to attract??

One must use the allure of the bacon and egg sandwich.. but less is always more remember!

Would you suggest a half-eaten bacon and egg sandwich, so as not to overdo it?

[pinkgin85]

I'm foreign and you can have my English man

[MilkandWater]

I'm foreign but moved to the UK for university. My main memory of sexual shenanigans with Englishmen was that one of the first ones I slept with wanted to be spanked (which was a shock), and several of the others were severely lacking in the 'reasonable politeness the morning after' side of things, even if the sex had been more than adequate.

[MilkandWater]

Oh, and one used to mutter the lyrics to Smiths' songs under his breath to try to keep from coming. That was unexpected.

[ApplePlumPie]

HelgaDownUnder

Would you suggest a half-eaten bacon and egg sandwich, so as not to overdo it?

The student has become the master... I am both proud and awed !

[TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]

@MilkandWater

'even if the sex had been more than adequate.'

... that's a jolly nice commendation! That must be worth 4 stars on TripAdvisor.

[grassisjeweled]

Oh, and one used to mutter the lyrics to Smiths' songs under his breath to try to keep from coming

^

As in, ejaculating? Which song was it?

[MilkandWater]

[quote TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]@MilkandWater

'even if the sex had been more than adequate.'

... that's a jolly nice commendation! That must be worth 4 stars on TripAdvisor.[/quote]
I meant it! (This was not Spank Me man.)

[MilkandWater]

@grassisjeweled

Oh, and one used to mutter the lyrics to Smiths' songs under his breath to try to keep from coming

^

As in, ejaculating? Which song was it?

This was in the 90s, so not today or yesterday, but I think it was 'William, It was Really Nothing'. (Clearly, it should have been 'I Started Something I Couldn't Finish'.)

He had one of those nodding Chinese good luck cats on his windowsill and a poster of Nietzsche over the bed.

[Doodar]

@LaBellina

Go to the nearest fish market and seduce him there with your Christmas cookies scented bumhole.

ROFL

[ShebaShimmyShake]

@grassisjeweled

Oh, and one used to mutter the lyrics to Smiths' songs under his breath to try to keep from coming

^

As in, ejaculating? Which song was it?

Girlfriend in a Coma?

A Rush and a Push might have been counterproductive.

[RuleOfCat]

Very sensible to try to snare an Englishman. The Welsh and Scottish governments have banned the use of leg snares for partner entrapment purposes. Boris and co. don't care though, in fact I suspect Boris would quite enjoy the whole thing.

[LaBellina]

I've seen several South European nationalities here recommended for a good shag and this is my advice:

1. Greek
2. Greek
3. Italian
4. Spanish (if only for the accent...)

[goose1964]

I have a 32 year old going begging? Unfortunately he's scared of women.

[HeyBlaby]

Lots of lovely English men in pubs, pick a particularly loud/busy one, if there is a fight outside that's even better (you know they're fit and strong then, survival of the fittest and all that)

Order two pints for yourself, preferably Stella, drink as quickly as possible whilst wearing a low cut top and hitched up skirt, almost guaranteed to find a top quality Englishman this way.

[WashedandDried]

Watching. Thanks ladies. This shit doesn't look promising. Lol x

[HappeBee]

@SnazzyHatchback

From my experience OP this is the reverse order of decent shag:

Italian
French
English
Scottish (tied for 1st place)
American (tied for 1st place)

As you can see English is only middle of the leaderboard and whilst obtained extra points for enthusiasm, can't come recommended.

What brings Scots and Yankees to #1 pray may I ask.

I have no yardstick and would like to know before I die.
Another foreign with english here

[WashedandDried]

😂

[giantangryrooster]

Have you tried buying a pumpkin, glass slippers (remember to loose one) bound to be successful.

I would think taser is the least hazzle. Or you could read mn relationship board and change your mind.

[SnazzyHatchback]

What brings Scots and Yankees to #1 pray may I ask.

I have no yardstick and would like to know before I die. Another foreign with english here

@HappeBee

Yardstick is almost definitely the correct phrase to employ

Scotsman - very inventive. Never a dull moment in the bedroom (or anywhere else for that matter). It involved a fair few cold and damp Scottish nights but I've no regrets and managed to avoid arrest.

American - I married him so feel a certain romantic loyalty but in addition, attentive and polite (very like American waiting staff but no tip required)

The Italian and Frenchman could have whispered anything in my ear for hours sigh but when the moment came it was always a crushing disappointment. T'was one hell of a Summer though.

The Englishman gave a very solid performance but he shagged his neighbour after 2 years together so that put a dampener on things.

I'm pretty interested in the PP who put double Greek on their list. Somewhere I've never been yet

[HappeBee]

Thank you for sharing your fountain of experience @snazzyhatchback

off to try Irn Bru

[SarahBellam]

Stuff your bra with Maily Dail. That usually does the trick.