How to snare a decent English man? Are there any?

[WashedandDried]

As a foreign woman living here, I'm wondering about this. Thanks.

[vodkaredbullgirl]

Let me know if you find a rare specimen.

[CovidClara]

I think most English men like independent women- no snaring involved.

Get a career, buy a house. Pay your own way in life.

[Veeta]

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Dig a small pit, cover with branches and leaves and wait for an English man to fall in.
It is difficult to ensure that you have snared a decent one so you may have to release a couple back into the countryside before you get a good one.
To this end the siting of the pit is important so Chelsea and Knightsbridge are both fine locations.
Should you be after a 'country type' the Cotswolds can be a good starting point.
Good luck 🤞

[BilboBercow]

Cattle prod

[DianaT1969]

Once you do catch him, he won't be able to understand your foreign lingo, so have a good translation app ready on the phone and shout very loud at him when you tell him how you like the dishes washed and your toes sucked.

[DappledThings]

Just make sure you go after one with a traditional English name. Like Balonz. You'll be on safe ground there.

[Judashascomeintosomemoney]

@minipilling

No you use a cardboard box trap with a stick and string. Put a copy of Town and Country inside to catch a decent man. Or the Bible if you mean that type of decent. If you're not catching anything try a greggs steak bake and hope for the best.

Nooooo. Surely ‘decent’ is synonymous with ‘working class’? So you’d be better off with leaving a copy of Socialist Worker or The Morning Star (definitely NOT The Guardian, that would attract entirely the wrong kind of English man). You’re welcome.

[PastMyBestBeforeDate]

Hang about in Richmond on a Saturday evening looking for a red trousered variety and distract him with talk of Farrell's second conversion. Note open season is only on Saturdays during the Six Nations.

[EarlofEggMcMuffin]

@mumsiedarlingrevolta

*Didn't even start on how to snare an English Prince-that is the advanced course and am not sure you are ready....

Har har har

[yetanothernamitynamechange]

Alternatively go to Thailand on holiday with friend. Get caught unknowingly smuggling drugs out of the country and sent to yucky Thai jail. Do kareoke singing with other female inmates of thai prison (mostly Madonna songs so brush up on those) while waiting for your attractive human-rights lawyer ex to show up and rescue you. This will demonstrate his decency AND has the added bonus that theres no way it could possibly go wrong!!!

[MarriedtoDaveGrohl]

Some of these sound like you won't end up with a 'good quality' man at all! Steak bake?! Oh no, no, no. Here's mine for getting one with a job and money. He will probably also like steak bake too mind you.

* please Note * may only work post Covid times.

You will need - a willing taxi driver you can bribe, a lasso, drugs of some sort (not coke though)

• Go to the pub and hang around the smoking area as long as it's by the street. The city is good for this they usually have money too! Location is everything in London!! Or England an after work pub for Men With Decent Jobs.
  
• Make sure the taxi is near and can be signalled. It needs to be a black cab, Uber xl or Addison Lee. Bigger than a tiny Prius.
  

-It needs to be after 8pm when they are all sloshed.
-Find your mark. You'll have plenty of choice. Best one without an owner so avoid wedding rings. Or ones talking about children. These ones will look stressed so are easy to spot.

• Sidle up and quickly flash your breasts and while he's distracted put the drugs in his drink.
  
• wait until he starts staggering and behaving erratically. Wave at the taxi and if need be use your lasso to bundle him in. Give the driver a tenner and he will help.
  
• drive away into the sunset!
  

If he turns out to be a dud just do the same thing again. No one will remember you though a wig would be safer. You're welcome

[Jeremyironseverything]

Hang around some castles this winter. An Englishman and his castle and all that...

[Mummyoflittledragon]

That you Medusa? Don’t look at them in the eyes...

[Longdistance]

I snared an Englishman with my ample bosoms

[DragonPie]

Lock yourself in a castle tower and let down your hair?

[yetanothernamitynamechange]

harrumph, bledy foereiigners coming over here, taking our men with their high falutin lassos and bear-pit traps

[OutwiththeOutCrowd]

Too many foreign men over here and hard to make sure you don't catch one by mistake.

So, return to tropical climes. Go out in the midday sun and set your trap surreptitiously.

You will surely catch an Englishman.

Or at least a mad dog.

[Aneley]

If you're after the 'posh' variety, I'd suggest strutting up and down Pall Mall waiting for an appropriate specimen to appear from his club... then trip and pull 'damsel in distress' act. Can't fail.

[TheTurnOfTheScrew]

Get something in your eye in the refreshment room of a suburban train station.

[Ineedflour]

@PastMyBestBeforeDate

Hang about in Richmond on a Saturday evening looking for a red trousered variety and distract him with talk of Farrell's second conversion. Note open season is only on Saturdays during the Six Nations.

This works! 😂😂😂

[ShebaShimmyShake]

@DragonPie

Lock yourself in a castle tower and let down your hair?

That only works on Germans. They're alright, I guess, but not the breed OP has in mind.

[WokesFromHome]

Oh OP, have you been watching Four Weddings and a Funeral or Bridget Jones again? Have you totally got the wrong impression of English men? There are no English gents left. They are extinct, if there ever was such a thing.

I went out with quite a few men before I settled down and my advice would be to find yourself a nice southern European bloke who is easy on the eye and is family orientated I'm sure there are nice English men, but I haven't come across that many.

[makingmammaries]

No, there aren’t any. I had to emigrate as a result.

[MikeUniformMike]

Go to a back street boozer wearing a low cut top and stand between the bar and the gents. Oh, you said decent...

[MagpieSong]

Get an interfering mother to send you to all dance events held by said rich man locally. It’s imperative you loathe each other at first. Your oldest sister should nearly die from riding a horse in the rain to his Manor House and your youngest sister should run a bit loose with an army officer you have a crush on - this will provide a good humiliating situation for future lover to sort out and will end up being the start of something more. After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

I do suggest getting your aunt and uncle involved when it seems to go tits up, works a treat.