To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

[Rainbowb]

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties!

Yes I do. And I love him. But I can't have him.

ANYWAY!! Let's not let the thread down with apparently unknown femme fatale ways!!

@Soapytoad yes exactly, but v hard to control these things isn't it with #proximitytom which workplace can be!

Pings my ovaries love it!

What is scary is that, the actual Tom is a mutual regard suspect, but if I didn't realise the depths of this, clearly I am well off. I have really mixed up feelings about it .

Actually I wonder if that was to do with it.

At one point when taking about leaving for another reason unrequited said ( not horribly) you seem to get on well with ( actual Tom) as in you'll be fine .
Gah it's a mess .

Actual tom has bizarre effects on me, it is physical I don't think you can help pheromones / hormones / attraction, it's not rational.

Actual tom whispered in my ear the other day by surprise to ask me a pointless question then I replied and he just held my gaze.

Men are so odd aren't they !

@Allaboardthemagicbus2020 I need to up my game / radar.

Thank you have missed part of thread - great thread though!

@threesecrets how long has that being going on for ?

I looked up limerance at some point last year, it is like an ailment and can take months or years to get over ! I think it's like a crush that won't stop !

My Tom is an old school crush that recently got back in contact due to a mutual hobby. That school crush hasn't gone away. It's definitely mutual, was 15 years ago, is now. Yet we are both happily in other relationships so neither of us would ever consider acting on it. But thinking about it, every single time i talk to him. He has the most magnificently veined forearms. 🤤

@barry I love good forearms!

@earlgreymarl
Since I met him a month ago and fairly quickly realised he was the man I should have married. But I am married (though in an abusive relationship) and he is idealistic.

I had my meeting with my Tom last Tuesday. We spent 90 mins discussing everything but the thing we met for (5mins on that). He spoke about sex most of the meeting! He’s very distracted and although he sounds like a sexist pig he is quite funny and makes me laugh. He said a few flirty things, told him I was off to the theatre that night and he said he loved the theatre and not sure how it came about but he said he was taking me to the theatre to see something I’d hate! Lol. I said I’ll be waiting for my invite as meeting ended. My old job share said he was asking where I was the other day too. I have begun to realise though that Tom is a flirt and loves attention from women. I think he enjoys meeting with me as we have a laugh and it’s a distraction from work. But I don’t think he’s really that interested. Plus he has a 3yr old and another child under 10. Mine are 26, 16 and 12 now, so been there and done that; I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone with young kids. I’d still go on a date if asked though and have a bit of fun! But that tends to end up with people getting hurt. Better off on my own with my kids and dog. Men are trouble! Toms are trouble. Especially sex obsessed Tom’s like mine!

@threesecrets wow that is really difficult. That sounds like it hit you hard. These things can happen. I hope it prompts you to make whatever decisions you need to make .

I have wondered myself for my situation if the crush is a symptom rather than a cause

Men ARE trouble. #selfisolate

I think the distraction from work thing is a big deal and if you work in a high pressure / stressful role it's worse - a bit of light relief means a lot!

Toms are trouble! @darbs76

You are familiar with my theory (working theory at the moment but am currently testing the methodology) that Toms create the crush in us?

The crush doesn't come from us but is seeded by the male and implanted in the female psyche so she takes responsibilty for it?

That is my current hypothesis and once I have completed the meta analysis on some random controlled trials, I will write up a paper (available on ResearchGate).

It is them. I'm convinced. They have figured out how to make our ovaries ping and are playing them like a fiddle.

I’m also hoping Covid-19 doesn’t stop me from my Tom days. Gets me through the week

@allaboard how do we test this?

Is the assumption that they are doing it on purpose?

I don't think my one can help it.

He is very expressive and it is a high risk situation as well. You know,bit wouldn't do to be seen to be matey matey. So I sort of think about how it looks to be seen to be around with him .

But as I said . He is always there. In mixed groups & odd situation, he ends up right by my side. I have been mistaken for his wife and that was ages ago.

This is bad cos it makes it worse .

@earlgreymarl my real weakness, forearms. Could be the ugliest bloke in the world but good forearms would have me weak at the knees.

@Darbs76 fingers crossed for you. It's s bleak time without them . Longest I have gone is a few weeks and when I saw him it took days to get over and he looked delighted. I was with my mother at the time. I felt about 14!

@BarryTheKestrel hands too?

What am I thinking. Of course they create the crush in is with their ways!

And arms hands and eyes

My Tom had pneumonia few weeks ago so was off 2wks then, so really hope we don’t all have to self isolate. We won’t unless Boris gives the nod! He never replies to emails.

Lol to the theory about Tom’s. looking forward to the research paper @Allaboardthemagicbus2020!

I may have to extend my research and place myself closer to Toms then normal.

Now, who could fund this? British Council? RA? AHRC?

@Allaboardthemagicbus

"They have figured out how to make our ovaries ping and are playing them like a fiddle."

I wondered what that noise was in my seminars with #vanishingTom. I thought it was just my stomach rumbling but turns out it was the ping of ovaries.

Also wondered why he was rubbing a violin bow over my stomach. Now I know.

@Darbs76 treat it as a bit of fun and you will be fine.

Also, is he the super spreader?

#superspreaderTom

When one Tom combines more than one attractive trait, in this case, wavy brown hair AND soft green eyes AND a regional accent with a talent like music, then it is

#overloadTom

or perhaps ##toomuchforonewomanTom

or

#unevendistributionofdesirabletraitsTom

I have discovered his Achilles heel. His coat is the ugliest thing on earth, it's fucking horrendous. The rest of his clothes are fine, it's just the coat that needs to be ceremonially burned.

#notsoperfectafterallTom

I love you Julian! Well, fancy the cycling shorts off you at least. Your sparkling eyes and your smile do it for me. Also you are too nice to EVER step out of line which makes me like you that bit more.
Also same for you BS8 Aston Martin driver