Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be saddened by this

118 replies

Northernsoulgirl45 · 15/02/2020 00:02

So last week I was at a pool party for a 5 year old. Parents were expected to be in pool to keep ratios up. I was the only female in the pool. Aibu to wonder why?

OP posts:
LovingLola · 15/02/2020 00:06

Why do you think that was?

Juanmorebeer · 15/02/2020 00:08

I would be saddened by having to go to a pool party too OP. Shudder.

Ellisandra · 15/02/2020 00:08

Are you saddened because men are super hands on having fun with their children, whilst women generally can’t be arsed?

Or was that not it?

Why not say what you actually mean?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 15/02/2020 00:09

Why?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 15/02/2020 00:10

Were the mums there too?

Watermelontea · 15/02/2020 00:11

Are you hinting that women are too ashamed of their bodies to get into the pool? That’s not news, but yes it’s sad.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 15/02/2020 00:14

Do gets swimming duties in my house. He enjoys it more than me and was always better at the stupid games / races etc which kids like.

If someone assumed it was because I was ashamed of my body and not just lazy / hates feeling soggy I'd be pretty , bloody annoyed tbh.

Original poster
Northernsoulgirl45 · 15/02/2020 00:15

I don't know why it worked that way. In my personal case dh is less physically able to do it but the rest of the mums seemed happy to chat with each other on the edge of the pool. Dh didn't know anyone and was overlooked. I had a ball with the kids but was sad for dh.

OP posts:
Krazynights34 · 15/02/2020 00:15

😂😂😂😂😂😂

It’s because you are so hot, you were boiling the water!

arethereanyleftatall · 15/02/2020 00:16

Yabu. Why are you sad?
If it's the figure thing- would have sent dh in as well but I have a fabulous figure and know it - just I'm a sahp whilst he works so he's more hands on with dc at weeKends; and I'd prefer to drink gin and gossip with my female friends, who would all have done the same thing. Sometimes, men get the shit jobs.

Ellisandra · 15/02/2020 00:16

So the mums you observed were all happy.
Tell me again why you’re saddened by that?

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 15/02/2020 00:18

If it was on a weekend I would expect more dads. Either because of EOW type custody arrangements, or because the majority of men probably still work all week, so do their share of the parenting on weekends. (I know I’m generalising, and it’s not all, but it’s still a common scenario.)

MazDazzle · 15/02/2020 00:19

I hate going to the swimming pool. I’m half naked in front of strangers and it’s cold.

I force myself to go for the sake of my kids, convincing myself that I won’t know anyone there, maybe the odd person, but not most.

Honestly can’t think of a worse idea for a bday party. Wait until they’re 8 and then they can go in unaccompanied.

I was 8 months pregnant and had all sorts of weird and wonderful symptoms when my eldest was invited to a pool party and had to be escorted. I was livid! Not only did I have to find a babysitter for my youngest, I had to socialise with other parents in a swimsuit when I’m used to seeing them in jeans and a hoodie. All of the parents felt very uncomfortable.

74NewStreet · 15/02/2020 00:19

Why were you sad for your dh? Why was he at a pool party if he was going to just side at the side? Confused
If he’d no intention to get in the water he should have just stayed home (I’m assuming it was a kid’s party?)
Why would you go just to hang around like a spare part?

Janedoe82 · 15/02/2020 00:20

I don’t think it is the figure thing- I took my children and their cousins to one of those inflatable water things at local pool last week. Hated every single second of it. The getting flung about, the minging water kids had probably peed in, the swimsuit sticking to me when I needed to go to the loo, the fight for a changing room and not being able to get dried properly and the shit hair dryers, the stress of making sure kids were ok. My husband will be going this weekend 😜

BecauseReasons · 15/02/2020 00:21

I don't like indoor swimming pools. It's cold when you get in, cold when you get out and changing rooms are awful. DH would definitely be the one in the water in a pool-party situation!

74NewStreet · 15/02/2020 00:22

I have a fabulous figure and know it 🤢

sparkly72 · 15/02/2020 00:28

It's winter OP... mums not in the pool because none of them can be arsed to remove all the leg/armpit/bikini hair.....

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 15/02/2020 00:28

Given the opportunity, I would definitely send in DH around people we knew/DCs friends 🙄 I would be uncomfortable in swimming stuff around people who are me in work clothes or jeans and a hoody. A swimming pool full of people I didn't know, no worries.
Why exactly are you 'saddened?'

Original poster
Northernsoulgirl45 · 15/02/2020 00:29

He was there because it was his blood nieces party.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 15/02/2020 00:31

Why are you saddened? Confused

TwitcherOfCurtains · 15/02/2020 00:34

Can you explain why it made you sad?

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2020 00:35

Mumsnet is so weird tonight.

Are you being unreasonable to wonder why?

How can anyone possible be unreasonable to wonder anything? Confused

I'm wondering why parents were 'expected' to be in the pool, rather than the parents of the birthday child organising the event properly and putting previously agreed adults in place.

SallySun123 · 15/02/2020 00:40

I try and get my DH to go to all the kids parties - I bloody hate them! Pool or no pool. Nothing to do with my body.

Original poster
Northernsoulgirl45 · 15/02/2020 00:40

I suppose deep down I wonder whether the mums worry more about how they look.
I however am obese nut working on it and didn't worry about how I looked.

OP posts: