Friend and messy toilet

[GeraldineFangedVagine]

I had a friend round with her daughter last week. For background, I’ve just had sepsis, jaundice two procedures in a week under GA and almost died. I was in hospital two weeks and am still having IV antibiotics at home via a long term line in my arm.
Her daughter (5) used the loo and made a mess. She told her mum, and then her mum told me. I said I need to be really careful about infection with this line, I can’t clean it. She looked at me sort of nonplussed but left it. I then cleaned it because she made no move to and went to and repeated that it was a mess. I couldn’t just leave it, because my other half wasn’t home till much later.
Was she being unreasonable to just leave it? It’s totally changed how I feel about her! I am not the Poo Troll btw.

That’s not fair. I would of asked where the cleaning equipment was and done it .

She was a dick.

I wouldn’t invite them round anymore.

YANBU. I wouldn't have them over again after that.

Cheeky cow. She should have cleaned it. I would have been embarrassed enough to clean it up whether my friend was at risk or not!

She would be an ex friend after that,

Wow - bad behaviour from your friend

Urgh. Don't let her in your house again. So grim.

That's quite shocking. I would never expect someone else to clean up my child's shit, never mind my sick friend. In your house, no less! Horrible behaviour.

I would find a new friend.

I am so glad I’m not going mad. My MIL asked my wife to go and help her and has D and V and so she refused and MIL has similarly fallen out with us. Are people just clueless? I wouldn’t have even thought twice about sorting it out.
The friend actually came to ask me to a special event and I feel like declining now. It’s really really upset me! Should I just slowly drop out of contact?

Even if you weren't ill the dirty cow should have cleaned it. I mean who leaves that for someone else to clean?

Regardless of your health issues at the minute if my child made a mess in someone’s else’s toilet I would ask them where they kept the cleaning stuff so I could sort it.

YANBU and sorry, I clicked on YABU when I scrolled down.

I can understand if she was going to wait and clean it before she left but clearly that wasn’t the case as she must have sat there and effectively stared at a blank wall whilst you were busy cleaning. I’d also query whether her child was well to have made that mess which makes her extra selfish to have brought a poorly child round your house.

The fact that you are sick is irrelevant really. You clean up your kids mess regardless. WTF made her think you would want to clean up her kids shit?!?!

What a weirdo.

As a PP said - regardless of your current situation if it were my child I'd have offered to clean it up. But given your current situation if they're you're friend then they absolutely 110% should have cleaned it up.

Yep just drop contact. She clearly doesn’t give a toss about you to risk you getting another infection.

That would be the end of the friendship for me. She has just shown how little she thinks of you.

As PP said, I would have asked for cleaning products to do it myself, regardless of whether the host had any form of illness. It's just good manners to clean up your own mess. I'm gobsmacked that she didn't even offer. I hope you make a full recovery very soon OP.

I would have put the cleaning stuff in her hands and told her to clean it in your position OP, she's no friend to leave you to do it when she knew it was a risk to your health. In her shoes I would have insisted I clean up after my child, you don't leave a mess in someone else's house regardless of infection risk. I'm sorry she was an arse

Thanks everyone. I can’t believe I even questioned myself! I’m pretty sad as I considered her quite a good friend and usually very thoughtful. I’m quite new to this area so rely on my other half’s family and the few people I know here quite a bit.

She is no friend.

A friend would care enough about you not to put you at risk like that.

A friend would respect your home and wouldn’t have to think twice about cleaning up after their own kid.

You know she was being unreasonable, you have no reason to ask that.

But why did you clean it instead of making her do it?

Please choose better friends.

It doesn't matter whether you are sick or not, if someone makes a mess in your toilet or their child does they should clean it.

Poor you. Hope you are on the mend! Don't invite anybody with a five-year-old in your current state. Children that young are exposed to and pick up so many infections (while they develop their own immune system) that she is bound to bring something you would not normally be subjected to! (And I cannot believe your so-called friend!)