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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU weird game at Hen Party

152 replies

Nips01 · 15/01/2020 14:18

It was my friends hen last weekend and there were 12 of us together in a large flat we had rented - including the grooms sister.

MOH had arranged a stripper / butler in the buff type guy and we were playing some "naughty" hen type games - nothing unusual - until MOH gets out a Twister set and announces we were going to be playing Twister with this guy! Oh and the catch was every time you got a new pose there was a second spinner (kind of like the one in the game where it says left foot yellow etc) that had a body part on it and the guy would then tickle u in that spot for a few seconds to try and make u fall over! The first person to lose then had to do a forfeit like take a shot.

Now I don't mind silly hen games but don't really want to be tickled by a randomer! The spinner even had "bum" on it as one of the options! So I sat out but I was one of only 2 people to do so and the others all called me a prude! Some of the girls who played were married / had bfs as well!

So is it just me or is that really fucking weird! Have hen party games officially gone too far?

OP posts:
Retroflex · 15/01/2020 14:43

@Nips01 "Sorry didnt mean to enable voting!"

Well, whether you meant to or not, it's worked out well! Grin from 56 votes, 95% of people agree that you're not being unreasonable and it's weird as f*ck! So technically, (on Mumsnet at least), it would be the other "hens" who were in the minority!

BigFatLiar · 15/01/2020 14:44

Would you have been happy if it had been a stag do with a female stripper doing similar with you DH/partner?

Original poster
Nips01 · 15/01/2020 14:44

Good point Dartmoor, I was one of the single ones but a lot of their bfs had gone on the corresponding stag night the month prior, imagine the reactions if it was a load of pissed up men doing this with a female stripper!

OP posts:
AFemaleWoman · 15/01/2020 14:46

And the stripper would say he's enjoying it and having fun, people wouldn't book him if he said he hated having to tickle random women's arses. The same way female strippers have to pretend they're having fun and love their job, men would (and do) give them shit reviews if they don't act like they love having strange men leer and and touch them.

Some adults do genuinely get a thrill and love their jobs and are in the adult entertainment industry through a free choice but many are there through need for money and hate their jobs, but can't say that to clients or they'd never get booked.

Original poster
Nips01 · 15/01/2020 14:51

The bride did eventually sit out playing (she stayed in every game for ages) cos some of the girls figured out where was ticklish and kept on messing with the spinner to pick her tickle spots and make her lose. Which meant a self-perpetuating circle of more shots and more tickling forfeits! I really hoped she would say something but she seemed happy to go along with it?!

OP posts:
messolini9 · 15/01/2020 14:51

and the others all called me a prude!

Good for you OP. Better a prude than an unimaginative twat who needs to pay a professional to tickle them for titillation.

Original poster
Nips01 · 15/01/2020 14:53

From something the MOH said the first night I think the stripper guy was like a brother of a cousin of a friend type thing; she did seem to vaguely know him and was asking him about his uni course etc. So not through a booking website or whatever.

OP posts:
TheNavigator · 15/01/2020 14:54

TBF the guy seemed quite onboard with it, they were having a laugh the whole time and he kept joking saying "This is every mans dream, getting to play Twister with a load of beautiful women!" but I just found it weird as fuck!

He is being paid to say that - he can't really admit he is going through hell and putting on a brave face in order to fund his student loan, or whatever, can he?

I would not be happy with the stripper, so it it a 'no' from me for the whole sordid event.

TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 15/01/2020 14:56

Of course sex workers pretend they’re enjoying it!!!

VerySale · 15/01/2020 14:57

Fuck anyone touching me apart from my DP. This would have been awful and I would have sat out too. I'm definitely not a prude.

GoodbyeRosie · 15/01/2020 14:57

I love the double standards that apply to hen do's.

' Butlers in the buff ', ' Strippers' , ' sexy barmen' ...all normal and good healthy fun on hen do's.

Going to see the ' Full Monty ' stage show or ' Magic Mike ' stage show? - yep all good fun.

A suggestion of men going to a lap dancing club? - dirty cheating lecherous pervs.

Seriously, from what my partner and female friends have told me, there is a much greater chance of a woman - even a bride to be - cheating on her hen night than there is a bloke on his stag night.

The incident the OP has described..well the bloke might has well have just done a strip show and groped his ' audience' . That's basically what happened anyway.

DartmoorChef · 15/01/2020 15:00

But these men are Not sex workers. They are there to serve drinks, host party games and be part of a fun evening.

If you go into a hooters restaurant, you can't grope and maul the serving girls in there.

Juliette20 · 15/01/2020 15:01

I'd not be happy with Butler in the Buff or the game and wouldn't care about being called a prude. Better than being some rancid old slapper feeling up a stripper for kicks.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 15/01/2020 15:01

@GoodbyeRosie I agree. It's grim. My friend is having a butler in the buff at her hen do so I'm not going. DP said it wouldn't bother him but I find it gross. I wouldn't like it if he went on a stag do with a stripper either.
My friends upset but I have boundaries.

pelirocco123 · 15/01/2020 15:02

I wouldnt even like the stripper...I cant think of anything worse than a group of woman leering over a naked man ( and worse )..or a group of men doing the same with a female stripper

Mrsmadevans · 15/01/2020 15:05

Vile behaviour , l think you did well to sit it out, what on earth is wrong with those women are they so desperate for attention they have to resort to doing this .

BorissGiantJohnson · 15/01/2020 15:07

But these men are Not sex workers
Some of them are, clearly! If he's agreed to do a game of stip-tickle-twister I'd probably categorise that as some kind of sex worker. Although, every sex worker has boundaries and you can only go as far as you agree. Nobody should be groping anyone. Hooters waitresses are not sex workers.

UrsulaPandress · 15/01/2020 15:09

I am Lifetime President of the Prude Society.

I would have been in another room necking Prosecco for the whole 'game'.

PuppyMonkey · 15/01/2020 15:10

Horrendous - cringing just imagining the scene, so god knows what it must have been like to actually be there. So humiliating for everyone involved.

Let them call you a prude OP, you’ll get over it.

Juliette20 · 15/01/2020 15:12

I've been to loads of hen dos and none of them involved a stripper, my friends have better taste. The last (and only) time I went to a do with a stripper was a fellow student's 18th birthday in 1993.

Cheeseandwin5 · 15/01/2020 15:12

Too be fair I suppose hen parties are about doing things that we wouldnt do normally, so I have no problem if the other ladies joined in. That said, if you felt it wasn't something you were willing to do, than these there is no problem with you sitting out (as long as you didn't stare and tut at everyone else)

Andylion · 15/01/2020 15:13

I would have sat it out, too, OP, and got out my phone to check MN where any thread I found would have been more interesting.

MrsMelanieHamilton · 15/01/2020 15:13

I find butler in the buff, male stripper type situations mortifying anyway, without factoring in tickle twister.

I'd rather peel my own face off and eat it than go to a Magic Mike type show. Sad women frothing at the mouth and screaming at a young lads gyrating about with their tackles out...absolutely cringeworthy.

BarbedBloom · 15/01/2020 15:13

I am one of the least prudish people I know but I would be uncomfortable with this. I hate being tickled anyway, but being peer pressured into being touched by a random stranger would lead to me not playing out of principle. But I have been to some hens previously and see a variety of inappropriate things happening between the group and strangers, especially when dares are involved. I didn't even have a hen party, but I certainly would have hated this one

Andylion · 15/01/2020 15:14

Too be fair I suppose hen parties are about doing things that we wouldnt do normally,

If I ever have a hen party, it will involve cleaning my house. Grin