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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner deleted all search history

80 replies

lalalalala123456 · 14/01/2020 21:51

He deleted all search history , or attempted to On his phone , but he forgot to delete that he has searched for a specific porn model who is very specific in a particular industry . He searches her every day ..

I know people will say I should trust him. But he has done this before around 2 years ago and he got caught , now he is doing it again . What would your initial thoughts or reactions be ladies / men?

The only reason this has been brought up and why I checked was because he quickly put his phone away last night and he hasn’t done that since he last got caught.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 14/01/2020 21:53

Why are you going through his search history?

I’m so, so glad my husband doesn’t check mine!

TartanMarbled · 14/01/2020 21:53

Leave him alone! Are you unhinged?

Original poster
lalalalala123456 · 14/01/2020 21:54

Because I told you in my previous post , the reason that made me check was the fact he was very eager and quick to put his phone away last night when I walked in and he has done this before

OP posts:
Ariesscientist90 · 14/01/2020 21:54

Done what before??

Original poster
lalalalala123456 · 14/01/2020 21:55

Searched for this particular porn model and attempted to contact her on multiple occasions

OP posts:
PawPawNoodle · 14/01/2020 21:55

My initial thought is 'what does it have to do with you?'

He probably deletes his history because he knows that you will wrongfully snoop on his phone and then pull him up on it.

Retroflex · 14/01/2020 21:55

There's a difference between looking at someone online and finding them attractive, and actually going out and having an affair... I very much doubt your partner would be able to contact or have an affair with this person, so why are you so bothered by it?

Nicknacky · 14/01/2020 21:56

Even if he did put his phone away quickly, why does that give you the right to check his search history?

So he has googled someone. Who hasn’t?!

GirlWithTheMarshmallowTattoo · 14/01/2020 21:57

Are you worried that he's going to cheat on you with a 'hired lady' who specialises in whatever the porn situation is? Or is it the fact he's watching/searching for porn? Is it gay porn? Not really sure what your exact issues are 😔😔😔

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2020 21:58

I know people will say I should trust him. But he has done this before around 2 years ago and he got caught , now he is doing it again

I'm a bit confused.

What does him looking at porn have to do with you not trusting him?

Do you think it will cause him to have an affair or something?

Original poster
lalalalala123456 · 14/01/2020 21:59

Wow so it’s perfectly acceptable for a partner to attempt to contact a woman multiple times and search her multiples times per day . Cool ! Must be normal then. Guessing you guys would find that the norm ?!

OP posts:
BlackBlueBell · 14/01/2020 22:00

I don’t understand the issue? He’s watching porn? And by contact her do you mean like on a live cam where they can speak to them and request private shows etc? If so it’s a bit far but it’s still just porn. I doubt he’d have any real want to get with her and she definitely wouldn’t want to get with him.

steff13 · 14/01/2020 22:01

Is a porn model different than a porn actress? What does the contact consist of? Is he trying to meet her?

Nicknacky · 14/01/2020 22:01

You never mentioned trying to contact her. I suspect that’s been added on to have us agree with you.

Plumbus · 14/01/2020 22:02

Contact her with what intentions? To meet up?

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2020 22:02

Wow so it’s perfectly acceptable for a partner to attempt to contact a woman multiple times and search her multiples times per day

How is she contactable?

Surely her agent or PA would be picking up any messages sent from fans?

Original poster
lalalalala123456 · 14/01/2020 22:03

Typing in stuff like :
How do I get email address / phone number
Ways to meet up with **
Is it possible to meet up with **

Not trying to create an argument here. Just slightly concerned .

OP posts:
EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 14/01/2020 22:04

I'm a bit confused.

*What does him looking at porn have to do with you not trusting him?

Do you think it will cause him to have an affair or something?*

This

ByeMF · 14/01/2020 22:05

I think you need to give more information about what he is actually doing. I'm assuming this woman doesn't live round the corner so he can't actually meet up with her.
Is he obsessed with porn or just this woman? How is your relationship otherwise?

Nicknacky · 14/01/2020 22:05

So why isn’t your title “AIBU that my partner is trying to contact a porn actress”.

That’s a totally different thread right there.

KidCaneGoat · 14/01/2020 22:06

Don’t know people are giving you a hard time. I’d be concerned too. I had a DP once who deleted all his history. Asked him if it was porn. He said yes. Relationship didn’t last much longer. You’re either ok with it or you’re not.

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2020 22:08

I agree with Nicky OP. Your thread is entirely different given the rest of the info you've added.

What has he said when you've asked him why he tries to contact her?

It sounds like a bit of an unhealthy obsession tbh.

WarmSausageTea · 14/01/2020 22:08

It sounds like your relationship is fucked, and neither of you are covering yourselves in glory. He’s being sneaky - but probably hasn’t acted on his infatuation - and so are you.

Have you spoken to him about this? If you and he can’t communicate openly and honestly, what’s the point?

surlycurly · 14/01/2020 22:09

Is she a domme? Because if she is then he wants a session, not just a meet and greet. I suspect he doesn't really expect to be able to have sex with a reasonably famous porn star otherwise, but it is a massive problem that he's trying to orchestrate a meet. And that he's done it before. At the very least he's obsessed. You have a problem here OP.

MargotB7 · 14/01/2020 22:12

On Mumsnet it really depends who's on because last week there was a thread slating porn off and how disgusting it was. Then now you are being pulled apart for being paranoid for the same thing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread