Hey everyone!
Bloody hell, in all my years of MNing I've never had a response like this, I was really helped by loads of your replies, and loads made me giggle (Roast Potatoes!!) and loads made good points.
I'm sorry I can't reply to specific posts but seriously there's so many.
or 
for everyone who replied and is sticking with me.
So on to the update.....
CoatZilla, henceforth to be known as CZ, text again last night....
Here it is word for word.
mate, your obviously upset and that was never my intention. I'm sorry that we argued, I honestly didn't see the conversation going that way when I brought it up. I think it's better we let the dust settle for tonight in honesty. Probably best to have a calm conversation tomorrow evening?
My reply....
Yeah tomorrow evening much better I think
And she didn't come back last night (good!)
So she's made a mistake anyway......cos Dad was actually out last night ! So we'll all be sitting there when she comes back.
My plan is, to write a list of bullet points for tonight of things she definitely said, so I can't forget and she can't back out of it or claim she didn't say it (I also remembered another bit in the fucking row- where she went "Oh, so a fucking ghost did it?" in that tone of voice- fucking horrible)
Also to sit calmly and let her explain to my lovely Dad and DP that she thinks they might have maliciously cut her coat.
Then see what she says!
TBH unless she fucking grovels on her knees (not likely after that fucking last text- minimization or what??) I'm going to be asking her to pack her stuff.
I'm not being "spurred on by hysterical posters"
I have read all the replies, some have opened my eyes, some have been excusing, some have told me not to rock the friendship boat....overall I have taken a middle(ish) ground.....but tbh it's clear she is
a) weird/horrible enough to think that of her oldest friend and her family
b) fucking vicious in a row
c) now backtracking massively
So....thoughts???
And again for the troll hunters in the back......my username currently is always "LanaKanesomething", and I've had various other names going back years.....so bloody well report me and see what MN has to say, yeah?