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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Reception teacher wants me to do homework!

198 replies

Janey01359 · 11/09/2019 16:51

This is my first post. My four year old brought home a book called home/school book
Inside, the teacher had written that he is settling in well but as she doesn’t see me (he gets the bus with his brothers) it would be nice to know how his evenings are? I think she is asking me to write in this every day. I’m actually a bit annoyed but am I being unreasonable? Evenings in my home are chaotic, by the time all my children are settled in bed all I want is to cuddle up on the sofa.

OP posts:

purpleboy · 11/09/2019 16:52

I've never had this. Are there any concerns with him? Maybe just write in it once and see what she comes back with? Might just be a one off.

AdaColeman · 11/09/2019 17:06

If it were me, I would just ignore it, after all what is she going to do...give you detention?

PatriciaHolm · 11/09/2019 17:06

I think it's just a book to facilitate communication between home and school, nothing sinister -I would just write that he's happy and settling in well, thank you. And leave it. I don't think she's expecting massive homework!

mindutopia · 11/09/2019 17:10

It’s perfectly normal to fill out a log of things that you do at home. I don’t mean like letting them know what you had for dinner, but what you worked on together, how your child responded to it, any info you want to rely to the teacher or questions you have. Just put it what you want, it’s no big deal. School involves a lot of admin. That definitely won’t be the worst of it!

AChickenCalledDaal · 11/09/2019 17:11

I would have thought she just wants to know whether he's expressing any concerns about school after he gets home in the evening. Some kids bottle up tiredness or anxiety and let rip when they get home, despite appearing ok during the school day. It's good that she realises that it's a good idea to check whether anything like that is going on.

If he's fine, just write that you agree he's settling in well and leave it at that.

HonestTeacher · 11/09/2019 17:11

In the past I have had link books with parents who do not pick their kids up but they all had SEN or were really naughty and there were things I had to communicate. Maybe they have some concerns about his behaviour and wanted to gage what he is like at home or perhaps he doesn't like talking at school and want a better understanding of what he is like.

ItWentInMyEye · 11/09/2019 17:13

I thought home-school books were for SEN kids? My son with ASD has one, other two NT didn't.

PegasusReturns · 11/09/2019 17:13

Crikey it's a perfectly reasonable request if in fact you're keen for your DC to settle in well and be academically successful.

If you couldn't care less then don't bother

HonestTeacher · 11/09/2019 17:13

Oops sorry just noticed you said she said he is settling in well. She prob just wants a means of communicating with you in case she needs to in the future

CSIblonde · 11/09/2019 17:15

That seems odd to me, is she having concerns re him settling or behaviour wise would be my tnought? Was the home/school thing mentioned as standard routine on any visit or info given out before term started? Do it once then see if she comes back to you.

AloeVeraLynn · 11/09/2019 17:15

Four is so little, it's nice to do a bit extra to make sure he settles well, especially if you don't get a chance to speak with the teacher. It would take less than 5 minutes to quickly write a few sentences. I'm sure you can so that for him.

diddlesticks · 11/09/2019 17:16

Our school has those books for all younger bus children. It's just to communicate between parents and teachers.

Tonnerre · 11/09/2019 17:21

Poor teacher, she goes out of her way to try to communicate with parents and take an interest in her pupils, and they treat it as somehow unreasonable. Surely you can find a couple of minutes to write something in the book?

Nanny0gg · 11/09/2019 17:21

My school always had these. Usually used as Reading Record Books so they could say what book/page and so could you.

But also used for any communication that you or the school might need to have with each other. Worries/concerns/something good that's happened.

It isn't 'homework' and it's not that onerous. You won't be doing it every day.

Tonnerre · 11/09/2019 17:21

I thought home-school books were for SEN kids?

Nope. All my NT children had these.

MatildaTheCat · 11/09/2019 17:24

Might she be hinting that he is tired and might need to go to bed earlier?

Otherwise it sounds a perfectly nice way to keep communication open when she doesn’t regularly see parents.

CoraPirbright · 11/09/2019 17:25

My children have had these too. Nothing too onerous about it though - they don't want an essay! You could just say something like “read a page of biff and chip” or “did spellings” or whatever. Always useful to have somewhere to write things like “had a nightmare at 2am and so may be tired in school today” or stuff like that. I think you are over-thinking it!

fiveleftfeet · 11/09/2019 17:26

I'd assume the teacher's just worded it badly and it's a just a way for you to communicate with them if you want to.

If so, what a great idea, the school is thinking of ways to support working parents.

Just write back, it's good to hear that he's settling well and you'll use to book to communicate with her.

Then just write in it if you want to / have anything to say to the teacher.

Fresta · 11/09/2019 17:27

I would think it's just for you to write anything the teacher needs to know seeing as you won't be there when you drop him off and can't just say things like 'little johnny has lost his reading book, is tired today, was upset about lunchtime, fell out with his friend, is struggling with his phonics, etc. etc." like other parents can and vice versa.

DameMargaretofChalfont · 11/09/2019 17:28

FGS - your child's teacher spends almost 6 hours a day with your child and is trying to open a communication route between you as a parent and them as a teacher.

It'll take you 2 minutes to complete - get off mumsnet and write in the book!!!!!

miaCara · 11/09/2019 17:29

My DN had one as her Mum didnt go to the school.
She wrote what the evenings were like once the dcs were off the bus. So how long it took to walk back to the house, what things the Dcs had to do before tea , Who cooked cleared way etc . If they had time for tv or tablets and then bath/bed routine.
Just normal stuff that would be chatted about at the school door you know - 'Oh we had such a busy evening yesterday . Grandma came round and we baked cakes for the church '. Gives the teacher some idea of home life and not many 4 year olds will convey this very well at the start of the year.
It was definitely not for moaning or complaining though. That can be done via the phone of necessary.

savingshoes · 11/09/2019 17:32

What a great way to write yourself into hot water?!
Sounds like they want you to write how little time you have for your children in the evenings.

isabellerossignol · 11/09/2019 17:32

I've never heard of this. We don't really have any communication with the teachers except at parent teacher meetings. We don't see them on an average school day.

22Giraffes · 11/09/2019 17:33

The teacher doesn't get to see you or to have a brief informal chat at pick up/drop off so she is finding an easy way for you to communicate. You should be welcoming a teacher who appears to be taking an interest and wants to foster a positive open relationship (for want of a better word). YABU.

Runbitchrun · 11/09/2019 17:33

How old are your reception child’s brothers? Are the school possibly concerned that a parent or responsible adult isn’t taking a 4 year old to school in their first weeks there?

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