Reception teacher wants me to do homework!

[Janey01359]

This is my first post. My four year old brought home a book called home/school book
Inside, the teacher had written that he is settling in well but as she doesn’t see me (he gets the bus with his brothers) it would be nice to know how his evenings are? I think she is asking me to write in this every day. I’m actually a bit annoyed but am I being unreasonable? Evenings in my home are chaotic, by the time all my children are settled in bed all I want is to cuddle up on the sofa.

@Flupibass I assume you don't live in a rural area? And plenty of parents have paid carers dropping young kids off at school.

I always chatted to the teachers at the door, but my DS has SN, and they all made a few minutes to relay how his day had gone and we invariably ended up chatting.. in later years it was his TA

But I carried it on with my DD when she started as I knew most of the staff on friendly terms by that point

I dont think its homework they expect you to do OP.. but if there's anything you think the school needs to know, its a good tool.. tbh, even a little 'had a good night, slept well' would be enough.

This doesn’t bode well for great teacher/parent relationships. Just write in that you can’t be arsed and not to bother you. Tell her that two minutes writing in a book is asking far too much and will eat into your cushion cuddling time. Never mind “reaching out to parents” , I mean how annoying is that concept?

Love the city centric posters who don't have an inkling of rural life!
Yes 4 year olds who live over 2 miles (or without a safe walking route) from the nearest school with a place for them get free transport. As others have said a parent puts them on the bus and an adult at school meets them off it.

I think the book is a great solution here, just write that he seems to be happy at home to and that you welcome this easy method of communication. Job done.

I think it's a lovely thing- I'm sure every child has one and the teacher hasn't singled your child out specifically. She probably wants to know what he's like at home so she can get a holistic view of your son- nothing wrong with that. It's not her/the school's fault your home life is chaotic and even then, she's probably just expecting a few lines, not an essay.

@Ihatemyseleffordoingthis
Well obv they don’t chat to all 30 parents, they chat to parents if they need to.....

I think it's a shame you've formed such a negative view of this.

Of course she isn't expecting you to write paragraphs every night. Just a quick note to say your DS is settling in well and that you don't have any concerns. In the future you can use it to note any problems or issues.

Take some time away from "cuddling up on the sofa" and spend 2 minutes engaging with your child's education.

OP are you kidding?!! Are you really not interested in communication between you and your child’s teacher!!?? It would take 3 mins of your precious time(about as long as it took you to write in here!) ffs! Sometimes I really wonder why some people bother having children!!??

Wait till you get actual homework to do! Like when they bring home the class cuddly toy. At my kids primary school, you have to take photos and report back on what its done. You can't object because your kid is so excited!
The book is just to facilitate communication. Not a big deal.

Standard for us. She Shad it since she was 4 (kindergarten)

She’s had ^^

I suspect he's very tired in class and she's wondering how he spends his evenings.

It's not really a question of how long it takes to write in the book: "in the five minutes it takes to set up a thread on mn you could have written in the child's book" arguments just wilfully ignore the point/ nub of the problem ... which is whether it's intrusive or not to ask parents/ children how they spend their evenings ... how long it takes to do this is not the real issue.

I personally got utterly fed up with schools' invasion into my private family life. Smacks of the surveillance culture we all now exist in where none of us have any privacy.

I make no comment about that but just sweeping that argument away with a "you could have written in the book by now" doesn't address it.

I'd be inclined to do what a PP suggested and describe your evening in tiny minute details (including who smacked who over the head!!).

How ridiculous to be offended and slighted by your child's teacher showing an interest in your child's life and needs. Why WOULDN'T you want home school communication in the best interests of your child?

OP are you kidding?!! Are you really not interested in communication between you and your child’s teacher!!?? It would take 3 mins of your precious time(about as long as it took you to write in here!) ffs! Sometimes I really wonder why some people bother having children!!??

But what is there to communicate?

I have next to no interaction with my child's school. My youngest is in P4 and I won't even meet the teacher until about the end of October at the parent teacher meeting. I'm very interested in ensuring that my kids do well at school, and they do, but I have nothing to discuss with the school unless there is a problem.

My son goes to a special school and has a home/ school diary it's not homework it's just to write anything that might have happened the teacher needs to know and vice 'versa,this morning I asked if they could look for his socks as he keeps coming home without them.

It's very wishy washy phrasing. Maybe send in a note saying you're not sure how much info she wants? I have these but inky for a couple of children. One sleeps poorly and won't always eat so it let's me know what to expect tomorrow. The other is for me to communicate their behaviour and for the carer to respond if necessary. I'd regard them both as settling in nicely but sometimes struggling to follow instructions. Worth delving deeper. I can't fathom how a teacher has time to read 30 narratives during the day so it may be their attempt to tackle a low level problem theyve spotted. Just ask

And please call or email the school. Teachers for the most part will encourage communication. Don't silently seethe. Don't ignore as others have suggested. Find out why. And if it is a whole class thing with no benefit? Ignore it and play with yiur child instead if it's going to impact negatively on your time together. Sometimes we teachers do get it wrong. Sometimes we don't. Worth finding out which one it is.

“Evenings are busy! X talks happily about school. Thanks for all you do."

^ I liked this suggestion - would be my approach. (I guess I might amend the last sentence if I actually wasn’t best impressed so far - maybe ‘thanks for asking’ instead, in that case.)

Mine has just gone into Y3 and I’m having that familiar pang of communication between me/school lessening again - I appreciate that that’s how it goes, but definitely I wouldn’t be resentful of a teacher opening that line of communication (I also don’t do pickup or drop-off so no cosy chats about baking with grandma here, this year!).

I don’t think it’s surveillance - I think it’s a teacher of a very young child being keen to develop a working relationship with the parents of her pupils.

But what is there to communicate?

Well there’s the answer to her question to communicate for starters!!

Unless I fell over, as far as I was concerned, all I ever did at school was 'nuffing'. To me, that meant I just did school stuff - lessons, playtime, lessons, dinner, lessons. 'Sumfing' would have been a visit from the policeman, somebody throwing up, our milk being too warm to drink, aliens landing in the playground (possibly, I mightn't have mentioned that either).

If I was asked about the evenings, I'd say 'nuffing' as well. Because I was sat in front of the TV with my cat until bedtime, ignoring arguments, shouting and general unpleasantness because it was normal. And then going to bed with the cat.

And I've noticed multiple spelling and grammar mistakes in my post. I didn't proof read before anyone comments and my phone changed them itself. I have a first in English and I'd hate for anyone to read my post and say, 'proof that teachers are all idiots and don't know what they're saying!'

I dont think its homework they expect you to do OP.. but if there's anything you think the school needs to know, its a good tool.. tbh, even a little 'had a good night, slept well' would be enough.

But what would be the point of that, unless OP had previously told her he was suffering from insomnia! It tells her nothing. She might as well write that he’d put on his pyjamas and brushed his teeth! OP is not looking for a penfriend. This kind of pointless communication just for the sake of it will do nothing to improve her DS’s education. Fine to use it if you really do have something to communicate.

Teacher just wants you to say

Hi, great idea, thank you. DS settling in fine it seems, he’s getting on well with the new routine. Please do let me know if you think there’s anything he’s struggling with or any issues.

At our school all the children have Reading diaries, they are mainly used for reading comments. But parents, & teachers, do write other things. Its especially useful for those parents we don't see at the door every day. Parents are not expected to write in every night, but diaries are checked for messages every day. I'm sure your son's teacher is just giving you some feedback, plus an opportunity to give her some feedback from home too.