Reception teacher wants me to do homework!

[Janey01359]

This is my first post. My four year old brought home a book called home/school book
Inside, the teacher had written that he is settling in well but as she doesn’t see me (he gets the bus with his brothers) it would be nice to know how his evenings are? I think she is asking me to write in this every day. I’m actually a bit annoyed but am I being unreasonable? Evenings in my home are chaotic, by the time all my children are settled in bed all I want is to cuddle up on the sofa.

Isabelle - if course you can! Yes it is for them to judge, but if your child is bored with what he’s bringing home then you can give this feedback. You’re the one reading with the child every day. The teachers don’t always have the time, or they might only hear a few pages.
As long as you’re not one of those parents who gets ahead of themselves, it’s normal and expected.

I think it's lovely. I wish senior school cared this much.

My children's school would not be at all impressed with a parent asking for more difficult reading. When my son was in P1 they scolded me for reading things to him that were too advanced (at his request, because he found picture books boring) as they said that his vocabulary was out of sync with his classmates and I was going to socially isolate him.

He gets the bus to school with his primary aged brothers? Maybe this has flagged up something to the teacher? What are you doing that you can’t take your ds to his first days at school??

Teachers can’t win. Damned if they do...

She’s obviously concerned about your ds. Why not reassure her?

It's. A. School. Bus.

RTFT for fuck sake people.

A home/school book is usually just a way parents and teachers can communicate quietly when the child is young, if the family lifestyle means little personal interaction between parent and school.

Teachers, especially with little ones, work insane hours. I seriously doubt that she thought, I know, I'll add to my workload by asking parents to send messages I have to read and reply to.

I do understand why it's irritating, but I imagine she was just trying to think of something friendly and open-ended to say. If you just respond, 'oh he's settling in well but a little tired' then job done. I doubt she'll write in it often, but it's handy to have so she can keep you abreast of anything going on, no?

Literally takes one minute, not an issue is it. If it helps create a relationship between home and school where the teacher can say "Sam had pizza for dinner last night, did anyone else?" Or "Paul went swimming at the weekend has anyone else been swimming?"
A couple of words, played with sister, watched paw patrol, went to the park, saw his nan, not that difficult is it?

I trust you are taking the piss Jenny
No teacher wants or needs to read any of that.

And parents don't need unnecessary "to dos" on their list.

I'm unsure as to why anyone would be annoyed at a school wanting to get to know your child well. Surely that is to help them settle in even better, and that can only be a good thing? Maybe I am missing the point completely...

We had these with both of ours, years ago and no SEN and I used to take them in and pick them up most days. It’s just another line of communication between home and School. They had reading books and word lists too which school liked us to look at with them in the evenings. Not sure why you’re so cross about it?

...it would be nice to know how his evenings are?"

This does not mean "it would be nice to have a detailed record of everything he's doing every hour of the day and night". It means "it would be handy to know whether he seems settled from your point of view".

The response is either "thanks for asking - yes he seems to be settling fine" or "he's absolutely exhausted" or "he's climbing the walls with anxiety". Depending which is true.

All homework given to reception age children involves the parents though, even if just supervising.

DS had homework- he can neither read, nor write yet so funnily enough I filled it in for him using scented markers and each letter a different bloody colour

I thibk the fact your 4 yo is not taken to school by an adult has been flagged up as a concern

That's ridiculous. Why are some of you so horrified by children getting the school bus? My child has been getting the school bus since 4. Collected at the door BY AN ADULT and dropped at school and taken in BY AN ADULT.

My son's just started primary school so aged 4 too. Every child has a book you describe. They also bring a different book home each night to read. We'd read at least one bedtime story anyway so it's no extra work. I usually write something like "Son enjoyed the book. Was able to recognise letters and sounds. He commented on the pictures and asked lots of questions". Or sometimes just one like saying if he enjoyed it or not!

There's sections for parent/teacher comments too and so anything parents want the teacher to be aware of or vice versa gets written and responded to in there.

It sounds like the school is just opening lines of communication. I'm unsure why you're making out it's a huge chore or have chosen to call it homework. Just put "Thank you. If there's anything I'd like you to be aware of I'll write it in here. Equally please let me know of any issues etc. X is enjoying their time at school so far."

OP, it’s called a homework diary.

Ermmm no it's not.

I really wish some posters would get their heads out of their arses and realise the world doesn't follow only their own experience.

Some 4 yos and older get on a school bus. Some go by taxi,some are taken by parents,dome walk by themselves.

Some reading records/home diary serve as both.

Some schools have homework diaries.

Some school have homework books,reading records AND a home/school communication diary.

Some school have teacher's emails available to staff.

Some schools have an open door policy. Some only by appointment.

Some schools might actually want constant updates, some just the important/urgent stuff if you can't chat with the teacher.

The list goes on.

Some have a mix of everything in between or something i haven't encountered yet. It's possible.

Maybe he’s unsettled when he arrives at school and she’s wondering if he’s mentioning anything at home, or if items because something has happened the night before or morning before, or on the bus?

She never see you so can’t ask. Communication book in these circumstances seems appropriate tbh. Maybe she should phone instead, but if you are as defensive and obviously disinterested in a relationship with your children’s school as you are here then I can understand why she hasn’t!

The teacher probably doesn't talk to every single parent everyday about what their child did that evening.

But if she or you have concerns then there needs to be a communication tool available.

I'd write and thank her, say you're glad he's settled in and reports enjoying school. And that absolutely you'll write if you need to communicate something and you're pleased she'll do the same if she needs to. The an also tell her a good time to phone should she want to speak face to face.

49 months old 😂😂😂😂😂

Brilliant

I think this is a lovely thing. She wants to better understand your child. Even just saying enjoyed beans on toast for tea will give her something to chat about to him when with engaging him in play. I would try to do it even if only for a few weeks whilst he settles in.

He gets the bus to school with his primary aged brothers? Maybe this has flagged up something to the teacher? What are you doing that you can’t take your ds to his first days at school??

I'd assume it's a school bus for children to get to school.
Oh and op is probably working. I wouldn't think parents would be allowed on a school bus anyway.

Even just saying enjoyed beans on toast for tea will give her something to chat about to him when with engaging him in play.

One would assume a teacher was experienced and trained enough in how to communicate and engage with children without "beans on toast" prompts from parents.

Is there really only person other than me concerned that a child who may potentially be just 49 months old is being taken home on a bus by his brothers?

49 months!? At what age exactly do YOU start using years? I have enough trouble remembering how many years old I am...& 490 months makes me feel very very very old, plus you need to open your mind to the fact the other people do things differently to you. 4 year olds on school busses isn’t exactly something ‘out there’

I've read comments saying read the op or rtft. I told op to ask the teacher by email or letter what the function / expectations of the journal are. I don't think there is any other advice. Ask. Or you won't know.

That's usual @Janey01359 surely you can spend some time doing it? I means it's not like it's important is it?

No teacher wants to know what a kid’s had for tea. Really. They. Don’t.

Op needs to send a note saying “all super here thanks” and leave it at that