Reception teacher wants me to do homework!

[Janey01359]

This is my first post. My four year old brought home a book called home/school book
Inside, the teacher had written that he is settling in well but as she doesn’t see me (he gets the bus with his brothers) it would be nice to know how his evenings are? I think she is asking me to write in this every day. I’m actually a bit annoyed but am I being unreasonable? Evenings in my home are chaotic, by the time all my children are settled in bed all I want is to cuddle up on the sofa.

My sons always had home/school books through early years and my youngest who is Deaf, right through school. Both of mine were taken by school bus.
It's a great idea , you dont have to write an essay, also the teacher can keep you informed about anything that may have happened during the school day.

FamilyofAliens
It's meaningless paperwork pushed at busy parents to check a box that 'proves engagement'.

Nothing wrong with telling the teacher you are too busy for box checking exercises.

As mentioned by a PP, there are lots of apps that can be used for communication between parents and teachers.

The advantage of these apps is that a parent can use them anywhere and any time, without the need to go looking through a child's bag for the little book, find a pen that works, and return the booklet to the bag. The teacher for his or her part doesn't have to rummage either, or decipher a parent's illegible handwriting.

Many apps come with translators so they are suitable for multi-ethnic groups. Many come with 'unavailable' functions so teachers are not going to get beeping phones all night or all weekend, etc.

It's not respectful of a parent's time to expect them to go through the 'by hand' exercise.

Actually writing in a book rather than typing a message on a phone is a good example for children to see, as they probably hardly see their parents actually write anything. It’s getting a problem in schools as children don’t see adults writing much anymore.

It can be frustrating or even alienating for parents whose first language isn't English to be asked to perform this sort of exercise.

Quite honestly, the only writing my DCs ever saw me do was shopping lists. Yet they all learned to write and eventually to type. More importantly, they learned to read and got plenty of practice and saw reading modeled at home, so what they wrote tended to be coherent.

I suspect the habit of handing children a screen of some sort instead of letting them use crayons, chalk, pencils and other messy items requiring hand-eye co-ordination, and the fact that many children are involved in group activities and can't just loll around at home and doodle for an afternoon are contributing to problems such as inability to use a safety scissors or draw a shape, or letters, numbers, etc.

I’m actually aghast you think this is an issue. It takes a minute to write it in and it’s actually a lovely thing to do.

Stop being a drama queen and write in the sodding book.

If you’re worried about 30 seconds to jot something down a couple of times a week, spare a thought for the poor teacher who has to read them all!

I don’t think it’s too much to ask, I think it’s a nice way to have a line of communication.

DDs had a reading record but I never wrote anything personal in it, apart from who was picking them up if that changed, but in later years you emailed the office about that instead. I just wrote things like "Good reading" "Can she move onto Level 5?" and so on. Mum helpers in the class would have read the books as well so I wouldn't be writing "And we had sausages chips and beans for tea, DDs went to bed (eventually) then we watched Corrie." Just odd.

@Soontobe60

Do you seriously refer to a child's age in months after the age of 18 months?

Many 4 year olds travel on home to school transport even without big brothers in tow.

@onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad
Have a  from a teacher.
Probably best you home school from now on to avoid surveillance.

Meh, just tell them you dont think he's worth the effort. That'll tell them everything they need to know (writing nothing will do the same but will.take longer). And be sure not to go in moaning later if he's not settling.

A reading record or homework diary I totally understand, I've always had to sign the book every evening to say that I've listened to the reading or whatever.

But asking about what he does at home? I wouldn't be answering that. The level of intrusion into home life that people are willing to accept from schools, and the state, never ceases to amaze me.

I'm in the UK, but in NI not England, and our education system is totally different. We don't have all these rules from schools about eg how a child gets to school, what age they can walk home, what they can have in their lunchbox, we don't have home visits and frankly we don't seem to have anywhere near the same level of interaction with teachers. I only see my child's teacher twice a year. Unless of course there is a problem in which case I would ring the school and make an appointment to see them.

Our kids still manage to learn to read and write and enjoy school, and they're not being abducted on their way to school because they are allowed to walk without an adult. But what's really noticeable is that teaching is a really sought after job and it doesn't have people burning out and quitting in their hundreds. We don't have schools with unfilled posts, instead we have dozens of applicants for vacancies. I can't help feeling that that might partly be because teachers are left to get on with teaching instead of being expected to be an extra parent to every child in their class.

You THINK that's what the teacher wants? How about finding out first instead of a dramatic 'teacher wants me to do homework' post?

Without even knowing your teacher it's obvious all she wants is a line of communication with you as she never sees you and it wouldn't have taken a genius to work that out.

Is it even communication or the paper version of small talk? Pointless and no really cares about the content.

I'm astonished at the number of parents who are not interested in developing a clear line of open communication with the person that spends the majority of the day with their 4 year old child.

There are multiple ways in which good engagement can improve your child's outcomes. Why on earth wouldn't you take every opportunity?

We used to have this as we both work so never got to see the teacher. It's just for any concerns and for her to let you know how he's getting on and vice versa. Say for example he comes home and he's had a bad day and seemed emotional or withdrawn, without the book you wouldn't know why. It's nothing sinister

I agree Pegasus.

Pegasus
In the schools my DCs attended the teachers could all be emailed, and you could also phone and ask them to call you if there were any concerns.

No need for the environmental toll of yet more paper production, transportation, or disposal.

Well I have four children, my 288 month old who is now in his 48th month of medical school never had a book like this neither did my 120 month old or my 96 month old. My 48 month old goes to school on a school bus along with other 48 month old children and some 120 month old children and some whom are 96 months old. The driver who works for the school collects the children from their house and takes them into the school. I don’t know how many months old he is but at a guess I would say approximately 720 months. I am a nurse so my shifts vary from days to nights, I have always communicated with the teachers via phone calls and parents evenings. Thank you for all of your helpful advice and thank you to the Karen’s for giving us all a giggle 🤭

‘My children's school would not be at all impressed with a parent asking for more difficult reading. When my son was in P1 they scolded me for reading things to him that were too advanced (at his request, because he found picture books boring)’
Wow, what kind of rubbish school says that? I work in schools and reading to your child is always encouraged, would be overjoyed if more folk did this. That sounds very odd to me indeed.

Wow, what kind of rubbish school says that?

I suppose the sort of school that sees reading levels and homework as something that they decide on, not that the parents decide on.

It's a school that gets consistently good inspection reports and when my older child finished P7 her assessments and exam results put her in about the top 2% in N Ireland in her age group so I don't think they are failing anyone.

I just ignored them anyway and continued to read whatever he wanted to read.

mathanxiety my DCs teachers can also be emailed. However I think there is a hierarchy of communication methods, with email tending to be reserved for the more serious methods.

E.g. if my DD was feeling unsettled due to the LT absence of a friend I might mention that when I saw her teacher. That's the sort of thing that can usefully go in the book.

I wouldn't email the teacher unless the concern was more significant: perhaps she'd felt isolated and came home crying.

I'm so relieved that my DC all go to schools with engaged, happy teachers who do have time to read communications and act accordingly.

Keeping "home at home and school at school" is a recipe for disaster. It isn't surveillance by the school, which is a baffling and rather paranoid stance to take. What do you think they're trying to do? It's not a plot to catch you out or judge your parenting. The more teachers know about a pupil's home life the more effective they are going to be and the better experience at school your child is going to have.

Home and school affect each other, it's madness to think they don't and I don't understand how anyone could begrudge an extra line of communication.

For instance when I was teaching knowing about family circumstances made a big difference when dealing with pupils showing unusual behaviour.... There's a big difference between a kid who is bleary eyed in class because dad's been working away and they're putting some extra help in with their younger siblings and one who has been up playing Fortnite until 2am.

I'd welcome the chance to have more communication with DS's reception teacher beyond the 3 minutes at the door in the morning.

Whatever the schools results children and parents should always be encouraged to read to one another and I find it odd you would be ‘scolded’ for doing so. Possibly your older child has done so well because you have continued to ignore the schools odd advice. Children’s reading levels will always differ, it’s not something they can control or should try to control by asking the parent to stop reading more advanced books to the child.

“Thank you for all of your helpful advice and thank you to the Karen’s for giving us all a giggle 🤭”

Well you started the thread OP. Glad you’re gighling at yourself.

Talk about a fuss over nothing. Are you always this much of a drama queen?