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AIBU?

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Original poster

Reception teacher wants me to do homework!

198 replies

Janey01359 · 11/09/2019 16:51

This is my first post. My four year old brought home a book called home/school book
Inside, the teacher had written that he is settling in well but as she doesn’t see me (he gets the bus with his brothers) it would be nice to know how his evenings are? I think she is asking me to write in this every day. I’m actually a bit annoyed but am I being unreasonable? Evenings in my home are chaotic, by the time all my children are settled in bed all I want is to cuddle up on the sofa.

OP posts:
Hederex · 11/09/2019 17:33

Home school books are standard at my children's school in Reception and Y1.
I very much doubt she wants a day by day run down, she probably just wants to form a picture of his evenings eg at home, with family, with childminder so she knows!

Hederex · 11/09/2019 17:35

Oh no I've just reread it and I think she wants to know if he is happy in the evenings, if he's settled in, as she can't ask you directly.

SunshineAngel · 11/09/2019 17:36

I used to have one of these, but they basically wanted to know what they did in relation to school, like "she did some reading then practiced her spellings" that kind of thing.

Anything else other than that I'm afraid I wouldn't be sharing. School is their domain, and unless they have any major reason for concern, home is yours and yours alone.

hopeishere · 11/09/2019 17:37

My first thought was tiredness too!

Just jot down a few bits and leave it at that.

Clangus00 · 11/09/2019 17:39

5 minutes out your day!
It’s a way if communicating between you because you don’t take your 4 year old to school personally.

MollyButton · 11/09/2019 17:40

That kind of thing was normal for all of my DC. I would write things like "Did some reading" or "excessively tired" or anything else that I felt was relevant for school. But not details of home life (unless I was going for a diagnosis of something). It could be useful as you don't get to school to put a note like "Aunt Mary's wedding this weekend, homework unlikely to be done".

I am assuming your DS is going on school transport or with much older brothers.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 11/09/2019 17:41

Haha
No
Send her one note and let her know all is well. A communication channel is useful but class dojo would be more appropriate.

I have 3 kids go through primary - teachers do not have time for a "little chat at pick up" with 30 kids.

"It’s perfectly normal to fill out a log of things that you do at home. " No it isn't - that is purely for Ofsted brownie points. Makework for parents, clumsy attempts at engaging. Silly.

viques · 11/09/2019 17:41

She probably wants to know if your child has mentioned any worries to you, like anxieties about playtime, lunchtime, toilets etc.

If he hasn't then just put a note in the book thanking her for sending it, say there are no worries at present, but if there are in the future you are pleased to know that she is available to discuss them and you look forward to meeting up with her at the next parent teacher meeting. End of story. You won't see the book again.

Is she an nqt by any chance? this sounds like the sort of thing a kind and well meaning but not very experienced teacher might do. In a couple of weeks she will be so tired she won't have the energy to be finding and filling out home school liaison books for children who don't need them.

eggsandwich · 11/09/2019 17:43

My son use to get a home/school communication book, but then he has asd and is non verbal so the only way I would find out how he was at school was if they wrote it done for me.

NewPapaGuinea · 11/09/2019 17:43

In the time it took to start this thread, you could have written in the book.

Pinkblueberry · 11/09/2019 17:45

A sentence or two to briefly communicate with the class teacher is hardly ‘homework’ - and I doubt she’ll be marking it Hmm

7salmonswimming · 11/09/2019 17:47

Your 4yo is taken to school by other children???

Adviceorhelp · 11/09/2019 17:47

I don’t understand the person who said it’s perfectly normal to fill out a log of what you do at home! Perfectly bloody normal? Perfectly intrusive. I would not be happy to receive this note at all.
I would ask the teacher if there is a problem or whether this is asked of all families.
It’s hard when it’s chaotic at home. My life is very much like this at the moment. Juggling kids and the various demands of home and school life.

Reallybadidea · 11/09/2019 17:50

Just normal stuff that would be chatted about at the school door you know - 'Oh we had such a busy evening yesterday . Grandma came round and we baked cakes for the church '.

Wtf?! Do people do that? My children went to after school club, but when I did pick them up on odd occasions, I never had a little chat like that at the school door Confused Poor teachers if they have to listen to that from 30 parents!

bobsyourauntie · 11/09/2019 17:53

In DC's primary every child had a Home/School diary in every Year there, and it mainly recorded the daily reading that they were expected to do. It was also used for messages relevant to school.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 11/09/2019 17:56

'Oh we had such a busy evening yesterday . Grandma came round and we baked cakes for the church '.

PMSL

Whattodo20192 · 11/09/2019 17:58

I have it for my sen child. We only write in it if there is something the other needs to know.
E.g. this week I got a note that ds had a pain in his stomach that morning
I would tell them of anything that has happened at home that might cause ds to be a bit off that day, e.g. when I had spent a night in hospital.
Other parents can pass this information at drop off and collection times But if you're not there you can't. SEN or not, I think it's a good idea when parents aren't around.

saraclara · 11/09/2019 17:58

She'ssaying that he seems to have settled in as far as she can tell, but are you getting the same impression at home? Is he saying he's happy at school/made friends/given you any cause for concern?

Redspider1 · 11/09/2019 17:59

Damn those teachers who are interested in your child’s wellbeing! They should just forget trying to get your child to settle shouldn’t they? Who cares?Hmm

CactusAndCacti · 11/09/2019 18:06

Poor teachers. Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

BanditoShipman · 11/09/2019 18:06

Your 4 year old goes to school with siblings and no adult?????

MouseInATelescope · 11/09/2019 18:07

Ooo I hope I get one next year. Sounds very theraputic. I could write a novel about the screaming, crying chaos of my evenings as single parent to two young boys. 7 year old is slamming and stamping around because I won't let him go on his tablet for 5 hours straight. 3 year old has just found my grey shimmery nail varnish and managed to splat the white wall in the hallway with it. I try and sit down and do letters and phonics with him and he screams and runs off. I have a washing mountain, 3 clothes " to sort out" piles and all bedding is due a wash.

I try and come on here for 5 minutes to myself at a time and one of them will always storm in and loudly scream at me for a snack or a drink on demand. Or entertaining. Or they'll be screaming in "pain" and "dying" only to be fine 3 seconds later.

Then they go to bed and I drink wine. The end.

isabellerossignol · 11/09/2019 18:08

The kids who live rurally all go to school without an adult round where I live. They are collected at their house by the school bus and dropped back after school.

Soontobe60 · 11/09/2019 18:12

Is there really only person other than me concerned that a child who may potentially be just 49 months old is being taken home on a bus by his brothers?
How old are the brothers?

notangelinajolie · 11/09/2019 18:13

She doesn't see you at the gate so it simply sounds like she's opening up a means of communication. I wouldn't read anything more into it.

Wish my kids teacher had done something like this. It's a great idea. I was always there at home time but would have preferred this way of speaking to teacher over the dreaded school gate mumrush any day.