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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if tiny weddings are rubbish?

112 replies

MafaldaGregorovitch · 30/03/2019 18:43

DP and I want to get married and inc us 2 and DSD, there'd be 12 guests. We'd have the ceremony, a few photos and then off to a local restaurant for food. If you were involved in a wedding like this, would you think it was a bit shit?

OP posts:

user1493413286 · 30/03/2019 18:45

Not at all; it’d be lovely to actually spend time with a bride and groom at a wedding.
Much as I loved our wedding I wish we’d done the same

bedtimestories · 30/03/2019 18:45

Not at all. I've been to an intimate wedding, it was lovely.

nrpmum · 30/03/2019 18:47

We did very similar, it was a brilliant day.

Banhaha · 30/03/2019 18:47

No, I think this sounds lovely and I'd like to go to a wedding like this. I'd feel like a valued guest and not just there to make up numbers.

Purpleartichoke · 30/03/2019 18:47

I find small weddings lovely. My own was 23 guests. We greeted them at the bar for socializing and appetizers, had a quick ceremony, and then a nice meal.

If we were having a bigger wedding today, I would probably do a board game reception. Neither DH nor I is a big fan of dancing so we didn’t want that to be the focus of the entertainment.

SrSteveOskowski · 30/03/2019 18:48

Nope. I'd actually love it and am really sorry I didn't do that with my own. Actually I'm really DH and I didn't just elope somewhere, but anyway.
Definitely do it OP.

isabellerossignol · 30/03/2019 18:49

Not at all. I only had 40 people at my wedding and with hindsight I wished I had cut out about 30 of them.

It sounds like the perfect wedding to me.

b0bb1n · 30/03/2019 18:49

My husband and I married in the smallest ceremony in a registry office. Our only guests were both sets of parents. We all went for a meal afterwards then DH and I drove to our honeymoon destination. For us, it was a perfect day and I wouldn't have changed a thing :)

Sparklingbrook · 30/03/2019 18:50

We had 18 guests. It was great.

Got married at 4pm and had a meal then that was it. Don't like discos.

Choccymmm · 30/03/2019 18:51

No it sounds great

Userisi · 30/03/2019 18:52

Nope, the best weddings I've been to are the small ones. If I was to marry again that's how I'd do it. The bigger the wedding the less I've enjoyed it reflecting on the ones I've been to!!

bookmum08 · 30/03/2019 18:52

We had 17 at ours. That's 14 more than I would of liked. 2 witnesses and our daughter would of been fine. You still are legally married at the end of the day. Which is the important bit.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 30/03/2019 18:52

Everyone's ideas and expectations of weddings are different and you can never please everybody. Personally I'd rather that than the usual wedding by numbers where most of it is done for traditions sake rather than based on what anyone likes.

Presumably the guests will be close family or very good friends and in sure therefore they will be glad to be there and glad you had a wedding you wanted

HollowTalk · 30/03/2019 18:52

I would love a wedding like that. If a wedding is too big you don't get the chance to speak to people properly anyway.

MissMalice · 30/03/2019 18:52

My wedding was exactly like this. It was a wonderful day.

SailorJerry13 · 30/03/2019 18:53

I am planning this type of wedding later this year - I don’t have any parents and feel like a huge ceremony would just highlight the missing family members. A few of our friends had huge weddings this year, and it cost ridiculous money and they seemed so stressed By it all, we barely got a chance to say congratulations!

All hail small weddings again!

GnomeDePlume · 30/03/2019 18:54

We did something like this 27 years ago (24 guests). Never regreted it.

Go with what suits you and your budget. At the end of the day it is the quality of the commitment rather than the size of the guest list which counts.

Catsinthecupboard · 30/03/2019 18:55

We had 7 people at ours 29 years ago.

Everyone had a good time. We are still married.

I wish we had gotten a good photographer but aside from that, I think it's fine.

Do invite the people that you want to attend.

Best wishes!

ShaggyRug · 30/03/2019 18:56

This was my wedding. Registry office followed my an amazing meal in a quirky restaurant. 26 people including us. Perfect and people still talk about how good it was so I’d highly recommend it.

bridgetreilly · 30/03/2019 18:57

It actually doesn't matter what the other people think, if it's what you want, it's what you should have.

But also, I think the people invited to that sort of wedding will feel pleased and proud to be there in the close circle you chose to celebrate with you.

ShaggyRug · 30/03/2019 18:59

Also as a guest I’d totally love this. Feel so much more like you’re celebrating with the bride and groom rather than a room full of strangers and a brief hello to the bride while passing. Small weddings are fab.

Liverbird77 · 30/03/2019 19:00

As long as that number includes everyone you truly want to be there, it is fab. We had a fairly small wedding and I don't regret it for an instant. If anything, I wish it had been even smaller.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 30/03/2019 19:01

It’s how all weddings were years ago, unless you were a celebrity or royalty. Which is where a lot of people nowadays go wrong, I think. You’re not doing a spread in Hello magazine. So keep it to your closest friends and family and you’ll Have a much better (and cheaper!) time, and be able to afford a much nicer honeymoon (which lasts much longer than the wedding day so is more important I reckon!)

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 30/03/2019 19:02

Everyone is different and you will never please all. Do what makes you happy.

I could never have had a tiny wedding, but that doesn’t mean I think they’re shit. Just not for me.

You need to do what you want to do; it’s your day.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 30/03/2019 19:03

The very antithesis of a lovely wedding with loved ones is needing a receiving line. I have been to 3 like this. One even had an announcer announcing who you were to everyone over a microphone. Very strange.

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