To wonder if tiny weddings are rubbish?

[MafaldaGregorovitch]

DP and I want to get married and inc us 2 and DSD, there'd be 12 guests. We'd have the ceremony, a few photos and then off to a local restaurant for food. If you were involved in a wedding like this, would you think it was a bit shit?

I got married last Saturday with a total of 6 guests. Registry Office followed by a lovely meal and we all spent the night in the same hotel. A relaxed joyful day with minimal stress in the run up to the day. We are very happy with our choice. Due to complicated estrangements amongst my husband's family is was easier to have no family on either side. Friends and family who we told after the event all seem to be really happy even though some may be disappointed not to be there. The reality is that if we had to have a full on wedding we would never have got married. The thought of posing for a photographer and preparing a seating plan made my blood run cold.

I don't like to bash big weddings or people who have them, but small weddings do have the edge (IMO.) I do much prefer them

Reason being is because there seems to be a lot less stress, hassle, expense, and fuss. Easier to organise, and less worries about things going wrong, (because there is not much to worry about!) Just a couple of dozen guests, flowers that you got yourself a few days before, a £100 dress from ASOS, a £100 suit from Debenhams, a £15 a head meal at the local pub, and a friend taking pics. (And a honeymoon a few weeks later in Spain or the Lake District or whatever the couple fancy!)

Some people will be offended of course, (at not being invited,) because with a small wedding, some people will have to be excluded. But it's tough.

@MafaldaGregorovitch

Hope you have a great wedding and a lovely marriage! A small wedding sounds fab. I know it's 'each to their own,' but I still have no idea why people HAVE massive weddings, that cost 10's of 1000s of pounds, with 200 people invited, who they rarely see/don't even like, and lots of extras (like photo booths and chocolate fountains and 10 bridesmaids, videographer, expensive photographer, over-priced fancy hotel venue, event planner, and a £50 a head reception/wedding breakfast.) As I said each to their own, but I don't get it.

I think small, intimate, inexpensive, romantic weddings are becoming much more fashionable now, as people don't have as much surplus income, parents no longer have the funds to pay for their adult child's wedding, and people have started to realise a big, fancy, OTT, expensive wedding, does not guarantee a successful and happy marriage, any more than an inexpensive one.

@issabellerosignol same! We had 40 and often roll our eyes that we invited them all when we don’t see hardly any of them now! And some of them acted like dicks, leaving our do to go and get cheap drinks at a local Wetherspoons etc. Me and dh really wish we’d eloped to Las Vegas.

A small wedding would be lovely OP, and you will actually get to talk to your guests and spend time with them.

@yorkshirefatrascal congrats!

I think small weddings are lovely.

A friend had just 10 guests and it was perfect. Everyone knew each other and it made the wedding very intimate and very special.

The downside to small weddings is if you're someone who doesn't make the guest list like I was once. A very good friend of mine had a tiny, tiny wedding and he told me how sad he was that he couldn't invite me. His best man was my ex-boyfriend and he thought my ex would be upset if I was at the wedding, especially with it being so small (4 guests plus bride & groom). I smiled and said 'of course I understand' but in reality I was upset at not getting to attend the wedding of my very dear friend. I was perfectly capable of having a pleasant time with or without the ex present. I guess he didn't feel the same way. Selfish f*cker. What continues to irk me is that years later I still am close to my friend (despite us living in different countries, and some times different continents) but my ex/the best man isn't. Grrr.

It's very personal and intimate. The important thing is that you are married rather than the day, contrary to what seems to be the case now. I had 3 people (2 witnesses, one to hold our baby dd) then off for lunch at really nice restaurant. 20 years and counting! We did actually had a church blessing later in front of family and a reception at my parents house.

I’m sure it will be very nice.

Mine was lovely. Money goes further too.

Nope, I was bridesmaid (only one) for one of my best friend's a couple of years ago. 20 guests tops. Lovely ceremony at town hall and off to a local pub for grub and a bit of dancing :)

It was a brilliant day!

I would feel really honoured to be asked to wedding that small tbh.

I'm divorced and not even dating atm but if I ever get married again it will very much along the same lines as you're planning.

We did that - it was perfect. No stress, and just as married as people who spent £20k on 300 guests.

Not at all. As long as the couple were clearly enjoying having the day just as they want it and happy to have just a small number of close friends and family there then I'm sure it would be wonderful. In fact I'd feel very honoured to be there. The smallest wedding I have been to was only about 20. All friends, no family apart from their two young children. Registry office and back to their house for lunch. Low key but very lovely.

I can however also imagine scenarios when there was a tricky back story behind the small wedding and it's not really what one or both wants. That could be awkward. But so could a big wedding if not by choice.

I've just asked my partner who he would really want to be present if we got married and after some deliberation he named three people. I did the same and named five. That, to us, would be perfect.

A friend of mine had the big wedding, and her dad ended up inviting random people in the local pub to 'make the numbers up'. My friend and her fiancé didn't even know them!

Intimate low-key ceremony followed by a lovely meal and drinks sounds bliss to me.

I've had a massive, traditional wedding with everyone I knew and a small wedding with just family I wanted and close friends and I can honestly say the small one was THE best day! I just had the people we wanted there and it was so lovely and meant so much more. Good luck, congratulations and enjoy your day!

I wanted to do something similar but ended up having a big wedding. I still plan on doing it to renew my vows in the future because I love the idea of a small intimate day so much.

Definitely go for it.

I've been to a small wedding it was bloody awful.
Registry office part was nice and the actual ceremony, we all had to drive 10 miles to a restaurant, my daughter was 3 but wasn't ordered a meal as bride thought she wouldn't eat it and drinks we bought ourselves.
Had wedding cake for dessert. No music. It was a bit boring tbh and people started leaving around 8.30

Not at all. Our wedding didn't even make it into double figures (& that included the vicar)!

This is exactly what me and my fiancé are doing in 2 weeks. Less than 20 guests. Registry office wedding followed by a meal at Wetherspoons. It's our day and perfect for us so why should it matter to anyone else

Absolutely not, your wedding is yours - if you want a small one then it’ll be lovely. The main thing is you’re marrying someone you love and sharing it with those most important to you ❤️

I’m getting married in May, and there’ll be 5 of us.

I can’t wait

It's so important that the day reflects what you both want, not what external pressure dictates you should do.

We had a small wedding, 30 something guests. It was wonderful, felt intimate and we were able to spend time with each guest. We'd picked it as we definitely didn't want a big event with favours, bows on chairs and all that nonsense. So many guests told us that it was the nicest wedding they'd been to as they felt they were really sharing our day. Definitely not shit. Go for it!

Married at Gretna Green nearly 20 years ago. Less than 20 guests. Best day ever.

I was drinking champagne in the beer garden until 30 minutes before the ceremony and rushed upstairs with my sister to get into my dress. No stress. No drama. Great day.

As a guest I find big ones way more fun

Either way hole you have a lovely time

I find big weddings tiring and they seem to go on forever. All those people you don't know that you have to make small talk with.