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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driving is not as easy as some make out. Just failed my 5th driving test.

139 replies

Aeroflotgirl · 21/03/2019 14:42

I know on Mumsnet. some on here like to say how everybody should drive and how it is a life skill, and negative comments about non drivers. I just failed my 5th test, took 4 tests 20 years ago and failed, but thought I would try again. My goodness, the test is a lot harder and it is really tough. I can see a lot of people not having the skills that incorporates that. I will take another few, then call it a day.

It is not the person's fault, some people are just not able to drive, and that probably includes me. What I found difficult is reading the road signs and getting into the right lane, especially on the big multi laned lighted roundabouts. So out of my depth and just fell apart.

I feel sad that some will regard me as being immature, CF, and undesirable if I am not able to drive. I always make my own way to places using public transport or taxi or if my friends offer me a lift and insist if we are going to dinner, I will but them a drink at their insistence. So try not to take advantage.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 21/03/2019 14:43

Yes I was driving an Automatic as well.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 21/03/2019 14:45

You’ll get there. I passed my 7th test. The ones you took 20 years ago don’t count.

dreichuplands · 21/03/2019 14:47

I agree the ones you took 20 years ago don't count, I could roller skate 20 years ago, now I would fall on my arse.
So you have taken one test, that is nothing. You just need to keep going.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 21/03/2019 14:48

Just feel like a total utter failure, I had to read the signs, got hopelessly lost and really out of my depth on a big duel carriageway which we never practiced, it was like a motorway, so never practiced building up speed, and negotiating it. Feel like it should have come naturally to me. At least I tried and did not get a D fault.

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 21/03/2019 14:49

I was first taught to drive at school at 16 (off road obviously) which was useless really as I was too young to take the test. I was then 27 before I could afford to have more lessons with a view to actually taking the test. Failed twice. I was 35 when I could afford it again. Failed another two times. Wracked with nerves. Passed on my fifth attempt.

Keep going OP, you've come this far. Learn the routes with your instructor as much as you can. You'll get there Smile

WhateverName2 · 21/03/2019 14:49

I passed my 5 test last year. Never wanted to drive, but moved to the middle of nowhere. Hardest thing i ever did. I drive locally, but still not comfortable. I agree, it is not for everyone. When kids are old enough to transport themselves, i probably never drive again.
Continuing to fail test and still try again is the hardest thing i ever did. You are not a cf. And it is not a life skill. Flowers

gamerchick · 21/03/2019 14:50

and getting into the right lane, especially on the big multi laned lighted roundabouts. So out of my depth and just fell apart

Those things were my nemesis for about a year after I passed my test. The road markings really help going round those fuckers.

Would it be possible to take more lessons and totally focus on your weak spots? The road markings really help if you're feeling a bit confused.

adulthumanwolf · 21/03/2019 14:50

Took me 17 years from first lesson, just passed in an auto last year. You're not alone!

cardibach · 21/03/2019 14:50

How many lessons did you have this time? You refer to taking a few more tests, I think, but what about lessons? How do they go? What is your instructor like? Are you at the standard in lessons but getting nervous in the test?
Sorry for all the questions, but they are re things to consider before writing yourself off.

DorisDances · 21/03/2019 14:51

Yes, agree with PP - you have in effect only failed one test. Many current drivers would I am sure fail if faced with the rigour of the new test. Make sure your examiner is good at building confidence as well as technical skills. Just think how amazing it will feel when you do pass

badlydrawnperson · 21/03/2019 14:52

OP - I fully support the idea of people not driving if they are not cut out for it - I wish more people had your self-awareness. I know a few people who don't drive and they don't seem odd to me.

FullOfJellyBeans · 21/03/2019 14:52

Those people are dicks. If you want to drive you should get a good teacher. My instructor taught me the test routes so I knew all the big roundabouts really well and knew which lane I should be in at which time.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 21/03/2019 14:52

Ahhh thanks everyone, felt really bad, will give it another few shots. But this whole road sign reading, trying to concentrate on the road.

OP posts:
hibbledibble · 21/03/2019 14:53

Have you tried changing instructor, or doing an intensive course?

I did both and finally passed after two failures.

Expressedways · 21/03/2019 14:53

I’m sorry you didn’t pass. Please don’t count the 4 tests you took over 20 years ago. That’s so long ago it’s irrelevant- if you think about it any 17 year olds you might have seen at the test centre weren’t even alive then! So you failed your first test, most people fail first time. More practice needed and maybe get a new instructor as they shouldn’t have sent you for your test without teaching you dual carriageways. You’ll get there!

gamerchick · 21/03/2019 14:53

Just feel like a total utter failure, I had to read the signs, got hopelessly lost and really out of my depth on a big duel carriageway which we never practiced

Why hasn't your instructor took you on there if it's in a test route? Something to practise.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 21/03/2019 14:54

I have had a year of lessons so far. 1 hour per week is all I can afford, i don't have anybody I can practise with, dh car is a manual, and his nerves would be freyed.

OP posts:
savageswimmer · 21/03/2019 14:54

I passed mine on the 7th and final attempt. It sounds like you need a new instructor if you're not confident building up speed on dual carriageways and roundabouts, I must have gone dizzy the amount of times I went round the large roundabouts in my city before it stuck and was drilled into me. I have now been driving 18 months with no accidents so far.

Traccs · 21/03/2019 14:55

It just sounds to me as though you haven't had enough practice. Multi laned lighted roundabouts are tricky. You probably don't need more lessons just hours and hours of practice until you are confident.

Farmerswifey12 · 21/03/2019 14:56

Could it be panic?

I failed 4 times. I sound really bigheaded when I say this and I don't mean it to be, but I'd never failed anything before and when I didn't pass the first time I was shocked and though I understood my mistake, failure wasn't what I was used to! After that I just panicked. I took a break, got a new instructor and passed straight away, though my confidence was shattered and he basically had to force me to book my test.

Hang in there, you'll get it!

Motherofcreek · 21/03/2019 14:56

Dont give up! I passed on my seventh. Was trying for over ten years.

The last time I tried, I didn’t tell a soul and just took it like a driving lesson. I thought ‘fuck it, if I don’t pass I can treat it as another lesson’

MuchasSmoochas · 21/03/2019 14:57

Yes you need to know the test routes. I passed third time round. I will tell you what really helped me, I struggled and was so tense and my instructor was very zen and told me that you need to go with the flow! There’s hundreds of cars scurrying about around you in a flow and you just join in. Well it helped me anyway! Book the next test asap. And good luck.,

CaptainButtock · 21/03/2019 14:59

I was a very good driver when having lessons. Came to my first test and I fell apart (D for dangerous 😳)
Explained to my GP. Was prescribed 2 x 5mg of diazepam to take one or two before next test. Flew through it.
Good luck op, there’s nothing worse than being perfectly good at something but falling apart when asked to prove it.

Expressedways · 21/03/2019 15:00

i don't have anybody I can practise with, dh car is a manual, and his nerves would be frayed
So what’s the plan for when you learn to drive? Practice between lessons really would help and if the plan is to get you your own car, or replace DH’s with an automatic then can you do that sooner rather than later?

TheWaiting · 21/03/2019 15:01

Don’t feel bad, OP

Some people, and this may or may not apply to you, just struggle with the special awareness and/or constant need for observational skills required to be a good driver. If you don’t feel this applies to you then chin up, just keep at it and you’ll get there. However, if you do feel this applies to you then there’s nothing shameful in admitting it and moving on with your life.

In fact, a great many people do fall into this category and still somehow managed to pass and frankly the roads would be much safer if they weren’t driving. This also applies to idiots who think they are fabulous drivers and own the road when in truth they’re a menace.

Good luck for test 2!