Driving is not as easy as some make out. Just failed my 5th driving test.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I know on Mumsnet. some on here like to say how everybody should drive and how it is a life skill, and negative comments about non drivers. I just failed my 5th test, took 4 tests 20 years ago and failed, but thought I would try again. My goodness, the test is a lot harder and it is really tough. I can see a lot of people not having the skills that incorporates that. I will take another few, then call it a day.

It is not the person's fault, some people are just not able to drive, and that probably includes me. What I found difficult is reading the road signs and getting into the right lane, especially on the big multi laned lighted roundabouts. So out of my depth and just fell apart.

I feel sad that some will regard me as being immature, CF, and undesirable if I am not able to drive. I always make my own way to places using public transport or taxi or if my friends offer me a lift and insist if we are going to dinner, I will but them a drink at their insistence. So try not to take advantage.

Beta blockers are helpful. They work on the physical effects of nerves. They don't space you out or make you drowsy so you aren't effectively 'drugged'. I can't believe a GP would prescribe diazepam? You'd be a danger surely? I have them for flying and nod off within minutes. I don't think they will even prescribe them for flying any more because the airlines are worried about people being out of it. I'm not even the one piloting the plane.

Thanks so much for all of your kind words, 2 years ago I was cripped by panic attacks (sickness, dizzy), and could not be a passenger in a car without having an anxiety attack, I thought I would never ever drive, but it is such an achievement to do the test, on a huge road that i had never been on with multi lane roundabouts, and not have one panic attack. Even though I failed with 4 serious faults, I did it .

Well if you’ve overcome that I think you can definitely do it. Just need a better instructor and more time/practice.

I would also suggest a new instructor, I passed fourth time but with my third instructor, my first was a lady for a block of 10 my parents booked when I turned 17, she did all 10 in a tiny industrial estate, no actual road driving or traffic lights, just driving in circles. I didn't have a job so couldn't afford to keep going after that, so waited until after uni. I started with one guy in a manual car and had a block of lessons but I have a nerve condition which makes my left hand slow to respond and could affect my gear changes, so we decided it was safer for me to drive an auto. I then found an auto instructor who I loved, and he was very patient. What I found massively helped was that he suggested longer driving sessions, so I did two hours once a month with weekly lessons in between, because each time I got into the car I would be nervous and it took time before I remembered what I had been learning. The extra lesson time gave me chance to calm down and I pretty quickly realised that I did know what I was doing, I was just spending ages panicking which took up loads of lesson time. It also meant we could drive further so I could experience more things or do the same route a couple of times in a row to build confidence or tackle a problem area. It may be worth making a list of things you're struggling with or had faults on, and book one or two longer lessons specifically to tackle those.

Just wanted to add a positive story - I passed 6th time, so you can have success after five fails! Totally agree it is not easy though - I genuinely see finally passing as my biggest achievement as I found it so tough! Good luck x

What were the faults OP? Did you get
Many minors as well as the major faults?

I got lane discipline and speed as 2 of the serious faults and 14 minors .

Haven't rtft so apologies if already suggested but I failed many times so decided to go on a residential course in Wales for week where they teach you to pass in that town. You spend 4 days 7 hours a day driving so by the end of it you're doing it in your sleep. I'm not sure the same company is still going but I'm sure Google will provide.

Ahhh it is great to hear your success stories. I need a more patient driving instructor, he could be impatient, and used to make me nervous when I got things wrong which contributed to the nerves.

To be honest, it just sounds like you weren't ready for your test.

I would change instructor and have more lessons until you feel 100% ready. It took me over 100 hours of lessons before I was ready but I passed first time.

I passed 4th time and I bloody despise driving. I rely on DH to do most of it. I can drive in an emergency and do it now and again to keep my skills up. I prefer an automatic as there is less thinking involved.

Driving tests should not be easy, indeed I would have them harder and re-taken every ten years if it was my choice. It is not for everyone and no-one should be slagged off if it is not for them.

I had way more tests than you. I failed all the time due to nerves. I’m not terribly confident on the roads but I try and will go places I know. You can do don’t give up! I even walked out on tests when I knew I failed as there was no point imo. I finally passed when I had a test on a weekend and in the early hours. There no cars on the road and I felt better. You can do it maybe look at different test times.

I totally agree that driving is not for everyone. It's not for me. I passed my test first time but I wasn't really ready, and I've never reached the point where I can do it on autopilot. I just feel I have no aptitude for it and it's much safer all around if people like me don't drive. It's nothing to do with manual vs automatic as I actually had lessons and passed my test in a manual, and we've always had an automatic at home (DH just prefers them, although he can drive a manual). It's spatial-awareness-related things like lane changes that worry me most, not changing gears. I don't like accepting lifts, but will do it if the other person would be going anyway and it's clear they would actively like to give me one. I really prefer to walk or take public transport, both of which I actively enjoy.

I agree , I don't think everyone can drive .. some people are shocking drivers and I have no idea how they passed their tests .. keep trying if you want to though .

I failed 9 times

I’m actually a really good driver. All the tests and lessons have really paid off. I wasn’t terrible... just really not confident and horrendously anxious.

You’ll get there! If you don’t want to try again though, that’s understandable. As long as your not a CF with lifts then I can’t see why someone would look down on you for not driving and if they do then it’s more of a reflection of them.

I’m a really nervous driver, I found it helped to watch videos about the different manoeuvres I was struggling with as it was easier to concentrate when not worrying about being in a car. There’s loads on YouTube

Yes you need to know the test routes.

No you don't. This means you may pass your test but it doesn't make you a safe and competent driver if you can only drive on roads you know. What happens when you drive somewhere new? Are you going to let the rest of us know when we need to keep off the roads?!

Thanks everyone I don't want to give up, but was totally unprepared. I think I need a new instructor as I felt he did not prepare me properly, and he could be impatient at times which make me anxious. I will give it another few goes than admit defeat. It is spatial awareness and visual processing. I accept lifts if friends are insisting and are happy to give me the odd lift, I would never just expect.

I'd also recommend changing instructors if your current one is impatient. I had a short tempered instructor who also had a habit of getting me mixed up with other pupils so I made little progress and mainly drove on quiet back streets as he kept forgetting what I had covered the week before. I was seriously unprepared for the two tests I sat and failed whilst with him. Moved to another instructor who very patient and passed on my third attempt.

I also struggled with lane management for about a year - not a good look for a first time driver in London - but it all worked out in the end.

I passed first time over 20 years ago after 14 lessons. I’ve spent years driving around the UK for my job. My ds18 has just passed his first time, he had about 45 lessons. But in all honestly I swear if I sat my test now- I’d fail!! I’m a good, confident driver, but boy to I avoid parallel and reverse parking when I can! But seeing what ds has to do compared to my test all those years ago. I knew my test route in my sleep as we’d been practicing it from my first lesson. This is where your instructor went wrong with you. You should have known all the routes you could be taken, because you should have practised them. Don’t take it to heart OP, this is not all your fault. Find a new instructor!

Eastie that is what happened, he kept forgetting what we covered, and thought we had been on that big dual carriageway, which I know we had not, even the examiner was surprised when I told him I had never been in it.

I passed my test first time at age 19, and I remember when the lady told me I had passed, in my head I thought holy shit there is no way I should have passed. I crashed within the first year of having my licence, a bad crash and simply because I didn't know that you should go down a gear at a bad corner rather than just slamming on the breaks. That should have been the basics of what I knew holding a licence.

I honestly don't know how I passed that first time, I shouldn't have, it was a fluke and I did not deserve to and I knew I didn't. I wish I had failed and done some more lessons and therefore knew the basics of driving to prevent myself from a bad accident. It's not been till this past year, 7 years on, that I feel fully confident and competent to drive.

You will get there eventually, and each fail take as an opportunity to focus and practice your weaknesses. That way when you do pass, it will be because you are fully competent and deserving to do so.

Brakes

I remember struggling with a large multi lanes roundabout on my driving lessons so I walked to the roundabout one day and drew a diagram of the roundabout with all the lane markings and sign posts etc . When I studied the diagram later, it all started to make sense and made it easier with my lessons thereafter and helped with me passing my test.

Good luck to you