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AIBU?

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Original poster

Driving is not as easy as some make out. Just failed my 5th driving test.

139 replies

Aeroflotgirl · 21/03/2019 14:42

I know on Mumsnet. some on here like to say how everybody should drive and how it is a life skill, and negative comments about non drivers. I just failed my 5th test, took 4 tests 20 years ago and failed, but thought I would try again. My goodness, the test is a lot harder and it is really tough. I can see a lot of people not having the skills that incorporates that. I will take another few, then call it a day.

It is not the person's fault, some people are just not able to drive, and that probably includes me. What I found difficult is reading the road signs and getting into the right lane, especially on the big multi laned lighted roundabouts. So out of my depth and just fell apart.

I feel sad that some will regard me as being immature, CF, and undesirable if I am not able to drive. I always make my own way to places using public transport or taxi or if my friends offer me a lift and insist if we are going to dinner, I will but them a drink at their insistence. So try not to take advantage.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 21/03/2019 15:02

Watch Maureen on driving school on YouTube. You will realise that if she can pass anyone can. I took loads of tests but will drive anywhere in a geared car now.

TheWaiting · 21/03/2019 15:02

spacial awareness!

dimples76 · 21/03/2019 15:03

I passed fifth time (3 fails at 17 then two tests 15 years later. I don't think one hour a week over a long period works - it would probably be better to save up and have more intensive lessons.

2boysDad · 21/03/2019 15:04

I passed on my 8th attempt ...

I don't multi-task well and I found that "talking to myself" during the test helped keep me on the ball. Maybe that will help you.

Best tip. Don't give in. You're going to pass eventually.

TheWaiting · 21/03/2019 15:06

Shock @ taking diazepam for your driving test! I take it for flying and it makes you very drowsy. I understand it calms you down but I’m gobsmacked your GP saw fit to prescribe it for you in a situation where alertness it paramount!

Louiselouie0890 · 21/03/2019 15:09

I passed first time but, and a big but, I had already been the route we went on a thousand times.

Luckily the woman doing my test took me that way. If it was a new route I never would have passed. Luckily I've learnt a bit more road experience and I can manage new roads but make mistakes like everybody. Just go slow and safe and fix your mistakes when safe to do so. You can make mistakes just as long as they are safe mistakes if that makes sense. What. Wrong lane, don't panic just carry on with that road. You can't fail for going the wrong way as long as it's not breaking any rules e.g one way road etc.

savageswimmer · 21/03/2019 15:10

Oh yes and I took beta blockers prescribed by the doctor for my final test!

ItsalwaysLTB · 21/03/2019 15:12

OP I passed second time (bear with me) but after it took me THREE YEARS to feel even vaguely comfortable behind the wheel. I don't think taking a while to pass is a bad thing at all. Keep at it!

roundtable · 21/03/2019 15:12

It took me 3 times. Last tine was 10 years later in an automatic.

When I practised manoeuvres just before the last test, I completely messed then all up and fell to pieces. My instructor said to me this words that I honestly think got me through the test.

They were: 'The examiner isn't looking for you to drive perfectly, just to drive safely.'

I was still panicked taking the test but kept that in my head the whole time and passed.

Don't give up op, you'll do it. Flowers

whywhywhy6 · 21/03/2019 15:15

Please stick with it OP. You can do it even if it takes 10 goes (or more). It’s better to be properly tested and fail rather than to get a route you’ve done before, for example, and pass, when you’re actually not ready.

You can do it. Stick at it.

Alsohuman · 21/03/2019 15:15

I had beta blockers for my last test too, they help a lot.

TheWaiting · 21/03/2019 15:17

Louise, I actually passed my test after exactly doing that. I was in the wrong lane of the roundabout to take the exit he asked me to but instead of trying to cut across I just went round again and moved over when I could. I was so nervous but I tried to sound all calm and explained to him that I realised I was in the wrong lane, didn’t think it was safe to cut across so went round again. I thought I’d failed which probably helped me relax for the rest of the test but I didn’t even get a minor mark for it as he said at the end that I did exactly what I should have done. So yes, correcting mistakes safely is absolutely the correct attitude.

ShirleyPhallus · 21/03/2019 15:35

Shocked at a doctor prescribing diazepam for a driving test!

Don’t give up OP. Some of the driving test comes down to luck - mine happened to be the exact test route we’d practiced the day before otherwise I’d have messed up getting in to lane as it was also on a dual carriageway, 40mph lots of big roundabouts. Also absolute luck that I got a 3 point turn instead of a parallel park!

Keep going. Don’t be disheartened, some people just take a bit longer but you’ll get there.

Also have a banana and 2 paracetamol before the test, that was advised here for stable blood sugar and to keep your temperature down and it really worked :)

outpinked · 21/03/2019 15:37

It took my DP nine tries but he got there. He was always far too nervous during the test and made silly errors. Driving isn’t easy at all but I think most people are capable of doing it, you just can’t quit.

ThelmaDinkley · 21/03/2019 15:42

I passed on the seventh attempt and was also prescribed beta blockers. I had the test in a Sat morning. Traffic was quiet and everything went like a dream. Please don't give up op. The people I know who took a few attempts to pass are more considerate and safer drivers than the Ines who passed first time. Good luck.

SisterMichael · 21/03/2019 15:44

Yes you maybe need to change instructors. I didn’t even get up to taking my test (ran out of money for lessons) and I’d been on dual carriageways multiple times.

Original poster
Aeroflotgirl · 21/03/2019 15:47

Thanks for all your helpful advice, regarding beta blockers, the Dr said, because I have asthma, it is not a good idea so had to rely on rescue remedy. No I don't think the driving instructor prepared me for the test properly, more practice independent driving and reading road signs and the massive motorway type dual carriageway.

OP posts:
Backseatonthebus · 21/03/2019 15:49

I can't believe that a GP would dish out that dose of diazepam for a driving test (or any actually). That's unsafe.

You'll get there OP. Just keep going, you will have learned a lot from this test, so you'll be able to use that next time Flowers

krustykittens · 21/03/2019 15:49

OP, I passed on my fifth attempt and it took two years of regular driving before I felt like a driver! But I love the freedom driving gives me so don't give up.

MsPeachh · 21/03/2019 15:51

OP, don’t give up! I was like you- learnt to drive when I was older than the norm. And it is definitely more tough. Disregard the driving tests from years ago- you failed the modern test first time. So did most of us Smile at the time it was devastating but I look back now and I am thankful for my fail- I moved over on the roundabout without looking and the examiner had to intervene. I learned an important lesson and I was grateful i had done it when somebody was there to prevent an accident!

Don’t give up- you will look back eventually and be glad you persevered. And you will be so proud of yourself! And it really does get so much easier once you are rid of the instructors eye hawking over you!

headinhands · 21/03/2019 15:57

Keep going. It's nerves. Don't stop trying. You'll get there!

badlydrawnperson · 21/03/2019 16:01

In fact, a great many people do fall into this category and still somehow managed to pass and frankly the roads would be much safer if they weren’t driving. This also applies to idiots who think they are fabulous drivers and own the road when in truth they’re a menace.

^this. Carry on if you want, but don't feel pressured. I am shit at team sports so I don't play any.

DeRigueurMortis · 21/03/2019 16:04

I think driving has a lot to do with not just skill but confidence.

It's in part why I think (for most people) it's easier to learn when you're young and frankly a bit more full of yourself and also somewhat naive to the dangers.

As such it can become a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy for some people. Starting from a point of low/middling confidence then failing a test can knock you back further.

For my part I have to admit I enjoy driving and found it easy to learn, but I witnessed my DM learning in her late thirties (having failed several times as a teen).

It took her 7 attempts to pass and she was ready to throw in the towel after attempt 6 because she felt she was getting worse not better.

What worked in the end for her was not booking another test straight away but my DF encouraging her to drive at every opportunity.

Previously, my DF drove everywhere but he (nicely and encouragingly) said she needed to build up "road time" as a learner and the default should be that she should drive when they went out together or us all as a family.

He even took her to all the local car parks to practice parking in different spaces and the local town to do parallel parking probably hundreds of times over.

Over 6 months she gradually relaxed more and more and agreed to sit her test again and finally passed.

So don't give up OP. My DM never thought she'd crack it but she did.

I'm not going to pretend she enjoys driving the same way myself and DF do, but she's confident and competent and even now if grateful she didn't give up as the freedom it gave her was immense.

ifeellikeanidiot · 21/03/2019 16:10

Do you spend much time as a passenger in the front of the car? The big difference for me between my first attempts at learning drive and my second was that i had been a front seat passenger with dh for many hours over many years. I had so much road awareness from that.

Lottapianos · 21/03/2019 16:12

OP, I hear you. It's hard and shit and scary. And bloody exhausting. I passed this year aged 39 and it's been one of the hardest things I've ever done. People who passed as teenagers just don't get it.

I've been driving by myself for 4 weeks now. I'm still scared but I swear its getting better. Totally agree with others - your tests years ago don't count. Write yourself a list of stuff that you know you are doing well, and getting better at. Please don't be afraid to change your instructor- I stuck with mine for too long and he didn't do my confidence any good. You will get there OP x