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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Returning gifts and requesting cash

110 replies

RubyWho · 04/03/2019 09:37

Hello,

I can’t tell if AIBU or not and have have mixed views, so I thought I’d put it to the experts.

I bought some gifts - for no specific occasion- for two children in my family. I bought them because I thought they were cute and the kids would like them. I sent them via post and asked the children’s parent to confirm if and when they arrived. The parent confirmed they had arrived but asked me to return said gifts and give them (the parent) the money instead as that would be more useful.

Is this UR? Ungrateful? Or am I just being overly precious?

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 04/03/2019 09:39

It's unbelievably rude of them.

Merryoldgoat · 04/03/2019 09:40

Sweet Jesus - what is wrong with people?!

Of course YANBU.

SusieFlo · 04/03/2019 09:40

That is unbelievably bad form, in my opinion.

Ungrateful, rude and entitled - what has happened to people!

AllStar14 · 04/03/2019 09:42

What was your response? I hope it was along the lines of "no I fucking can't you cheeky bastard!"

Leeds2 · 04/03/2019 09:43

Let them return the gifts to you, keep them to give to other children in the future and do not give any money to the entitled parents. I would also think very carefully before sending any more presents in the future.

Original poster
RubyWho · 04/03/2019 09:44

My response was “...wow”. I’m considering sending the money as well so the kids can actually keep said gifts. But then, I’m a sad old pushover and I love the children. So.

OP posts:
IM0GEN · 04/03/2019 09:46

Unacceptably rude.

Unless there is something crucial you are not telling us, like the parents are asylum seekers without money to buy food.

HappydaysArehere · 04/03/2019 09:47

Some people!!!!!! I would reply that they can send them back as they weren’t appropriate as you know just the children who would like them. Then never bother sending anything again.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 04/03/2019 09:48

Do not send money. Your response was fine, don't message again

Fuzzyheadache · 04/03/2019 09:50

Really rude!
How old are the children?

BlueMerchant · 04/03/2019 09:50

Unbelievable. Tell them the children may as well keep the gifts as you are not giving money- ever. If they want to they can give them to a charity.

hugelypregnant · 04/03/2019 09:52

Oh god, do not send cash too!!!

SleepingStandingUp · 04/03/2019 09:54

Unless they are really poor and the money would be used for food Yanbu.
If they're on the breadline then I can understand it more but their approach was wrong

GU24Mum · 04/03/2019 09:59

Very rude of them!!

They'd have to pay to return them (please tell me they don't want you to pay for return postage.....) and you'd then have to hope you could get a full refund let alone the hassle of that.

I'd be tempted to say "Disappointed (NB: not "sorry" as that implies you are somehow in the wrong) that they didn't like the gifts. I'll leave you to pass them if that's what you'd like to do".

Then, if you really do want to keep buying presents, I'd ask for suggestions before you send anything else (but make sure if they only ask for expensive things that you go back and ask for cheaper suggestions). If you've had enough of it by now - which I would have done - just stop buying things for them in the future and if you're ever asked about it, just say that as they didn't seem to like the things you chose that it's probably better for you not to bother.

LotsToThinkOf · 04/03/2019 10:00

How rude! I'd say, as the gifts weren't for a specific occasion, that if the children don't like them then you'll send them back. Get her to post the items back so you can return them and just sit back and wait. When she asks you where the money is is then give it to her both barrels about how rude she is.

What is wrong with some people???

Original poster
RubyWho · 04/03/2019 10:01

The kids are 10 and 11.

OP posts:
SpeakUpXXWomen · 04/03/2019 10:02

Don't indulge this, engage backbone. If you want to send anything further then a book on manners will suffice.

GunpowderGelatine · 04/03/2019 10:03

What did you buy them?

I ask because once on MN the same kind of thing happened to a poster - they bought their nephew a gift and asked their sibling if he enjoyed it to which they replied "no not really" - it was a Lego chess set, the nephew was 16 and not particularly into Lego! In that situation lots of people agreed the OP WBU

missbattenburg · 04/03/2019 10:07

"It's the gifts or nothing. You choose".

dietcokemegafan · 04/03/2019 10:08

I would just ignore this

outpinked · 04/03/2019 10:09

Wow that is exceptionally rude. We tend to be given gift receipts if it is clothing just in case it doesn’t fit but I’d never ever ask for the money instead Shock. Horrible.

Chalk it down to a lesson learnt and never send the entitled fuckers anything again.

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/03/2019 10:11

WHAT? Has the world gone mad? How unbelievably rude of them!! Ignore! But having a word with the parents about their attitude might be an idea if you are up for it!

nettie434 · 04/03/2019 10:11

Sounds rude. Do you have the receipts so they can exchange the gifts themselves? At least you would not have the bother of taking them back or to the shop or posting them

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 04/03/2019 10:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

lottiegarbanzo · 04/03/2019 10:12

Rudey rude. Do NOT send money, the parents will see you as a cash cow.

If the dc don't want the gifts, they are welcome to re-gift them.