How much would you expect to spend on a hen do?

[mybumpismostlypudding]

As a bridesmaid? I've got a hen do coming up and it's looking really expensive and it's starting to make me really cross, but I think I might be being a bit unreasonable as I'm not brave enough to actually say anything!

It's already going to be £175 for the weekend, plus whatever I have to pay to travel there, plus we still need to buy decorations etc. and some of the other bridesmaids want to buy loads of bride themed tat novelty gifts for the bride to be AND want to tack on an extra activity for another £70

I'm all for giving her a big send off, but this is looking like it'll be around £250-300 in total, which is my total monthly disposable income I'm having a baby soon, I don't want to spend my all pennies on one weekend!

I would probably expect to pay £200-250 for a hen weekend including travel, accommodation, drinks etc

I would hope not more than £200, could the extra activity be skipped and save yourself £70?

If you can’t afford it say so. Perhaps the others don’t have a baby on the way!

I’d be pissed off to spend more than £100 - I just wouldn’t go on a whole weekend thing. What’s wrong with a meal and some drinks!!!

Haha maybe I am being unreasonable! It seems like a lot of money to me, but I had a very small hen do when none of us had any money, so I guess I'm biased! I want to say I don't want to do the other activity, but I think because I'm a bridesmaid I'm expected to

Bugger all! Can't be doing with them. A meal out should be adequate, anything more and they can piss right off.

This happened for my best friends hen do, by the time we had paid for transport, hotels, activities and clothes food drinks etc it was going to be well in excess of £300! I spoke up and said I could afford it as we had bought a house and we're renovating. It turned out half of the party were in the same position and most were planning on getting into debt to pay for it. Plans were then changed so it would cost around £100, a couple weren't happy but the majority were. Everyone had a good day in the end so speak up!

No OP you are not being unreasonable. That's a ridiculous amount of money you are expected to be spending. I'm getting married soon and I have asked that if I must have a hen do then something that will cost everyone as little as possible. Brides shouldn't expect whole weekends away. What happened to a nice meal and a couple of drinks?

@Kool4katz here here absolutely with you girl!

The last one I went to cost me £350 in total when I sat down and totted it all up - that was two nights in a UK city.

I have 6 friends getting married next year, and so far 9 hen do invites because 3 of them so far are having two hen dos - one "home" and one "away".

I know it's not the norm, but personally I think the cost of a hen do should be included in a wedding budget and the majority be paid for by the bride, if she wants an expensive weekend, with guests making a small contribution. That or something cheap and cheerful!!

loveiseverything I agree, I would have been so uncomfortable with my friends having to spend that much! It's not the bride's fault, it's her bridesmaids that are planning it, but I don't know any of them very well so I don't feel brave enough to tell them what I think haha 😂 I got married young so it's a bit different but we all just got drunk at a nice bar haha

I blame Pinterest 😂 all the ideas look so good, but we're all quite young and not exactly rolling in it !

I would be ok with it for a close friend or family. It totally depends on circumstances though. There have been times when I wouldn't have been able to afford so I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't be mad on principle for the weekend costing £300. If I had £300 spare I'd bloody love the opportunity to go and get pissed with my mates hen do or no.

My hen doo coat my friends fuck and all. Made dinner and bbq in the garden put the tv outside with fairy lights sang karaoke. My husband and his mates came back and we played games until passing out asleep on the grass. Free to everyone. Cost me 50 quid including fizz food and cocktails and some decorations.... people spending a shit load I do not get. It's supposed to be your last night of freedom not the last fucking weekend bow down to me lick my arse and tell me how pretty I am...

popc0rn that's mad! That's so many! Makes me thankful I don't have so many friends to be honest 😂

Katienana I think that's my problem actually, if I had £300 to spare, I wouldn't spend it on this weekend with a group of people I hardly know! I'm looking forward to the weekend, and I want to make it as special as I can, but for me personally, it's a lot of money to spend with people I don't know haha
For the bride it should be fab! I hope

Oh god 🙈 trashy group hen do’s are my nightmare!

Especially the ones that involve going away and wearing matching outfits to beg for instagram likes 🤢

All whilst inflicting a £300-£500 price tag on your friends who’ll secretly resent you for it.

Why can’t a nice afternoon tea at a lovely local hotel be the norm??? £25 each - Make it part of the wedding budget!

I'd say £300ish for a close friend. It's the experience you're paying for with the girls think of it as that.

@mybumpismostlypudding
I don't have many friends, but seems the ones I do have seem to be all getting married in 2019!

@user1484424013
The best hen do I've ever been to sounds like yours, it was a great day/night and I'd take it over a weekend in Marbs anyday! :)

About £50 - for a nice meal out and enough drinks not to make a spectacle of myself

Depends on what you are doing.
I think a full weekend away would be about £200.

The 6 hen nights I've been on all cost the price of a meal and drinks.

I think the whole "hen weekend" thing is silly. Surely a night is enough then you can have an optional weekend away with friends a different time without the guilt attached if people don't want to go. An evening or day out should be fine.

If you are actually doing a weekend away £200-300 sounds about right but I think it's unreasonable to expect people to spend that much to go away somewhere they haven't chosen and take a weekend away from their lives.

£50. I have never been on a weekend away type hen do. I have been invited to a couple but declined. I think it is often a case of "too many cooks" where 3 or 4 bridesmaids are organising and they all want to suggest an activity so they end up doing all 4.

The most recent hen party I was invited to was 2 nights in Bristol, night out on the town in costume, brunch, zoo visit in costume, escape room, indoor trampoline park, lunch out, dinner out...

I'm organising a hen party for a friend this year and we are doing 1 activity and an afternoon tea, costing £35 per person.

I don't want to spend more than about £100 really, less if possible. I just don't see the point in them. It's not as if marriage is a massive material change these days for most people. It's not a last night of freedom.

That sounds expensive. You’ve paid the £175 I assume or at least committed to paying. Personally I would either write that money off and not attend or attend but bow out of as much of the other bits and blame tiredness. I take it this is your first baby. The last month of pregnancy is the most gruelling and at some stage you’re going to want to slow down. As for silly the extras I think it’s perfectly acceptable to say you can’t contribute to this as you’ve still got things to buy for your baby.