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Original poster

Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

999 replies

fifithefoof · 09/10/2018 13:07

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting! Confused

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

OP posts:
Sowhatifidosnore · 11/10/2018 11:05

I don’t think that’s high, and I can’t remember all of my and it’s a lot less than that!!

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 11:06

I'm going to use teeny words here quipsandquotes because you're obviously struggling.

You're conflating (this means you're combining two or more ideas into one) opinion and fact.

HTH

BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 11:28

quipsandquotes

No one's slut shaming. Just saying that the tone on this thread is very sordid and depressing and shows a lack of self respect or depth when it comes to sex.

Obviously you are entitled to defend your behaviour, but if you come onto a public website high fiving and bragging about multiple sex partners, then people are entitled to give their opinion. That's not slut shaming, or pearl clutching, it's just stating that some people find such a casual attitude to sex sad and depressing.

It’s a bit of a tacky bragathon. I find it more laughable than anything. Kinda pitiful, though.

lornar123 · 11/10/2018 11:34

Admittedly one of the things that puts me off guys that have put it about is the ick factor. I do worry that this makes me prudish, but a guy who has had his dick in 3 different women in the last month isn't coming near me, condom or not lol.

AliasGrape · 11/10/2018 11:39

I find it pitiful that people find women openly and honestly talking about their sexual experiences ‘depressing’ or think that the number of sexual partners you’ve had somehow equates to your self esteem, with the undercurrent that a lower number of partners equals higher self esteem.

Outdated patriarchal bullshit that wants women to think their value is in their purity.

I’ve had a shit load of massages, it’s a nice thing to do with/to my body and it feels good. Does that mean I have poor self esteem or am bad at relationships? No, so why does it mean that when I do other fun stuff with my body?

Plus ‘number of sexual partners’ is bullshit anyway, because most people equate it to ‘number of people who have put their penis in your vagina’ - why does only that ‘count’ when there’s lots of other ways of having and enjoying sex?

Quipsandquotes · 11/10/2018 11:46

No, not conflating Jacques, just stating an opinion that doesn't agree with yours.

No need to use small words. I have a degree in English Lit. and am paid rather a lot of money for my skill with words.

Quipsandquotes · 11/10/2018 11:47

And am also going to depart from this thread now.

It's grubby and, as someone stated above, rather pitiful.

lornar123 · 11/10/2018 11:48

To be fair here a number of woman have the same judgement about men except they usually call them players or such like. I also think that if many of the women on here stumbled onto a forum of men saying stuff like I shagged 20 women over the summer they would immediately be a bit disgusted by such a bloke. For me I would judge past sexual behaviour to an extent, along with the ick factor as per this thread I do place a value in sex not everyone does. I wish we could talk about these things without people being outright rude though.

Move2WY · 11/10/2018 11:48

I have 2. Would love to be 30-50!

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 11:48

No need to use small words. I have a degree in English Lit. and am paid rather a lot of money for my skill with words

Shame that isn't coming across in your posts.

Why not use your "skill with words" to try and explain why in your opinion a large number of sexual partners = a lack of self esteem?

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 11:50

And am also going to depart from this thread now

Of course you are. Because you can't answer the simplest of questions Grin.

Stonebake · 11/10/2018 11:53

No, not conflating Jacques, just stating an opinion that doesn't agree with yours.

I’ve seen at least two posters on this thread who have disagreed with some of the majority and have had their intelligence called into question. I don’t agree with the unpleasant choice of words “rank”, “yuk”, “ick”, “grubby”, “sordid” etc, but it doesn’t make posters look as good as they think when they go straight for the “you must be a bit thick to disagree with me” line.

AliasGrape · 11/10/2018 11:58

It’s just sad that people see sex as ‘grubby’ to be honest.

My number is probably somewhere between 20 and 30. If you think that tells you anything at all about me, my self esteem, my relationships etc then you’re wrong but then your opinion of me is none of my business as they say.

Your willingness to judge others, comment on their self-worth or seek to make them feel ashamed tells me a whole lot about you though.

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 12:03

but it doesn’t make posters look as good as they think when they go straight for the “you must be a bit thick to disagree with me” line

Oh I don't think anyone is thick to disagree with me.

I do think they are when they can't grasp opinion and fact

I'm more surprised someone who uses words for a living isn't more mindful to make that clear to be honest.

shearwater · 11/10/2018 12:06

For me it is ten. It was so long ago though and they were all between the ages of 17 and 23 and have been with DH for 20 years. I can't remember much about any other partners, only the two which were more long term.

BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 12:10

No need to use small words. I have a degree in English Lit. and am paid rather a lot of money for my skill with words

That response about “teeny”words was plain silly. Hardly crushing given your background but it seems to be some posters’ default insult. Dear me.

Original poster
fifithefoof · 11/10/2018 12:12

@lornar123 I wish we could talk about these things without people being outright rude though.

Yet it's ok for you to use words like 'ick' and 'disgusting'?

I gave you the benefit of the doubt yesterday but seeing your views today on how Christine Blasey Ford is probably lying and even if she isn't should have kept quiet about it, I don't feel like you're actually not the nicest piece of work yourself.

OP posts:
BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 12:12

Does the “shrug” indicate the throwing in of the towel? 🥊

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 12:12

That response about “teeny”words was plain silly. Hardly crushing given your background

Sometimes it’s clear people don’t understand. Doesn’t fit with the “I use words for work” Schlick but hey, whatever role you want to assume behind a screen Grin

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 12:13

BrightonGallery7

Oh what an unfortunate cross post Grin

Original poster
fifithefoof · 11/10/2018 12:13

So @lornar123 you want to judge without being judged? You want to be rude without anyone being rude back? Hmm

OP posts:
BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 12:14

I'm more surprised someone who uses words for a living isn't more mindful to make that clear to be honest.

Another baffling response.Confused

DioneTheDiabolist · 11/10/2018 12:15

Of course using the words sordid and depressing and describing women as lacking in self respect for having and then talking about sex is slut shaming.

You NC'd to post and you are hiding the thread because you have been challenged. That tells me more about your character than the amount of men someone slept with.

Original poster
fifithefoof · 11/10/2018 12:15

This has turned in to a pile on from slut shamers and sexually repressed misogynists.

OP posts:
BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 12:17

Is mustering up the hackneyed Mumsnet response about disbelieving a poster’s perfectly acceptable explanation, the very best you can do?

You must try harder.

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