Shitty homemade Christmas Gifts

[justilou1]

I’m really loving the homemade Christmas gifts thread, and am watching it for inspiration. Can we start one for ideas for things to avoid - ie glitter-encrusted his&hers champagne flutes.

I guess the main thing to avoid is shit, amateurishly crafted tat that’s a million times more fun to make, than it is to receive.

If anyone who knows me is reading this.... I’d rather just have a fiver in a card, ta. Keep your nasty gingerbread to yourself please.

SaucyJack are you actually Gareth from the office?

Picture calendars
Anything coloured in by a child
Key rings with photos of family or worse pets
Framed pictures of your children. Possible exception for grandparents but no one else
Reindeer food or other Christmas Eve crap
A key in a bag/Box/card for Santa
Those awful Christmas cards with children’s names on sold by schools
Pre bought tree decorations on which you gave written something in glitter pen of sharpie
A jam jar turned into anything

Heart shapes made out of twigs and bits of ribbon

Anything made with cooking chocolate or palm oil chocolate
Fabric carrier bag holder tubes
Cakes made in baked bean tins
Hand decorated plates
Anything made from fir cones
Anything made from toilet roll tubes

Anything coloured in by a child

Really? Even your own child, grandchild, niece or nephew. That's sad.

Fabric carrier bag holder tubes

What even is that?

Anything made from oranges that you have dried yourself
Homemade candles
Decorated ikea tealights
Anything with a stained glass motif

Really? Even your own child, grandchild, niece or nephew. That's sad.

A hand drawn picture is fine, I was thinking the pre printed pen holders or pre drawn pictures with thick black lines to be coloured in.

What are cakes made in baked beans tins?

Jars full of ingredients to bake cookies or some such shite. Basically you’ve spent 2 mins and 7p weighing out flour, despite me having my own bag of perfectly usable flour and scales in the cupboard for those rare moments that I might like to bake something. Fuck off.

Why would anyone bake a cake in a baked bean tin let alone give it as a gift?

I’ll add a jam jar that’s filled with anything other than jam. Especially shite fairy lights and white glitter.

Anything that expires in January. Fuck off with that regifted or 80% off in sales a year back shite. I don’t care if it is from F&M, you’ve not even bothered to clean the gathered dust off the bloody box.

Oh sorry. Homemade. As you were. I’m on to you Auntie M

A framed picture made from buttons
A book folded into something else-origami don’t know what it is called but hideous and ruins books.
Any framed picture made of rolled up paper
Anything with the words gin or prosecco
Almost anything with a persons name on it

People make mini cakes in tiny baked bean cans as gifts.

No, I’m not Gareth. I’m just very tired of the festive tradition of exchanging random shit that nobody wants.

You could just give people things they might actually like, loike.

A peg doll nativity
Any form of clothing for pets

A Poundland mug with a sachet of Tesco’s drinking chocolate and half a dozen mini marshmallows.....just Why would you think anyone wants this

Pretty much anything in a Kilner jar especially anything that requires cooking
Homemade hot chocolate kits in Kilner mugs or shove a bit of hit chocolate powder and a few hard marshmallows in a glass mug. Why?

Any kind of hamper filled with cheap crap. Buy 1 decent gift!

Snap on the hot chocolate!

A self-published book of your own fucking awful poetry or short stories. yes I'm looking at you, dear niece.

Last year we got some Christmas sweet tree thing. a glass with melted chocolate and stick with a chocolate ball with sweets stuck all over it, it was from a company.

We also got a bouquet of bars of chocolate, cheap palm oil Cadbury chocolate. I looked online £25 !

Homemade jam. I’m never convinced the jars are sterile.