Shitty homemade Christmas Gifts

[justilou1]

I’m really loving the homemade Christmas gifts thread, and am watching it for inspiration. Can we start one for ideas for things to avoid - ie glitter-encrusted his&hers champagne flutes.

These suggestions are great! (I have a vested interest in asking... my kids and I have decided to continue on from my MIL’s tradition of truly godawful presents (I’d say she means well, but I’m unconvinced....). We are now having a competition amongst our own family for the worst presents - ie crocheted toilet roll dollies, or screen-printed Superman undies which I would totally do if I had the skills.)

Realistically I am happy to receive anything I can eat or use - the same goes for shop bought presents! I just don’t want clutter! So painted pebbles etc - what am I meant to do with them?! Same goes for shop bought ornaments and things, they just gather dust and take up space.
Food, clothes, blankets etc. That are to my taste are very very welcome.

I hate homemade gifts. They mostly look shit, are never anything I want and somehow the sentiment/effort is supposed to trump the fact that i’ll Never use it. I’m not a gift person anyway, so I’d rather people just don’t bother

Unless you’re making me food!! I’ll accept food!!!!!!!!! Actually just make me a sausage roll

Can someone link the thread with nice homemade Christmas stuff please?

There’s so much angst around gift giving and people worrying about costs/ paying for things. If things are tight then please suggest to the folk you buy for that you will not be buying or receiving gifts, only for very close family.
Quite often people are exchanging random tat for the sake of it and I know several people who are already worried about the cost of Christmas but no one wants to be the one to suggest cutting back.
If you do suggest stopping gifts and the other person gets shitty about it stick to your guns , they can’t force you.
I love Christmas and I’m not a misery guts but I’ve seen it to often people sick with worry about how they can afford it. I’m not bothered about receiving gifts and am not a fan of homemade gifts

Someone made my mum crocheted cutlery draw insert liners once.
Mum is a very lovely person and did try and put them to use but the forks catching in the holes did her nut in.

Feeling a bit paranoid now..... having given home made biscuits ( in a vintage cup and saucer, pretty jar), arty photos of dogs/cats/ children in cool frames ( their pets/ children not mine.) I’m sitting here with vintage kimono fabric that I was contemplating making cushion covers from ( I bought it based on their interior colours). I’ve also got Shea butter, beeswax, oils and essential oils etc and was contemplating natural lip balms ..... surely that can’t be shit can it? If so you won’t want to hear about the jars of dried lavender from my garden.... I was thinking bath soaks but maybe after reading this i’ll just make little lavender pouches with the kimono fabric and buy them gift sets from Boots on a 3 for 2 offer.... so much more meaningful.

Someone made my mum crocheted cutlery draw insert liners once

LOL. This is what give crafters a bad name.

The mini cakes are not likely to be a cheap option. Costs me about 3/4 times as much to make a cake Aa buy one every year. But it's a joy to do.

It is more blessed to give than to receive. Especially when the receivers are scornful, ungrateful, and dismissive of the time, effort and affection that went into the home made gift.
Don’t you think that if the giver could afford to send you a fancy shop bought expensive gift, they would have done?
Hard up, and struggling to finance Christmas, they make you something they hope you’ll like. And you mock them.
I think that says a lot more about you than them.
I’m glad that, for Christians, the only Christmas gift that matters is the gift to the world of God incarnate.

Homemade biscuits, cake, truffles. I prefer shop bought.

I do the odd knitted present. But only for people who I know will like them, and I use lovely wools like merino and modern patterns. A couple of friends are getting hats this year with lovely cable patterns.

No drawer liners though.

The thing is, no one actually likes Christmas cake.

Add me to the people who adore a good, fruit dense, carefully aged Christmas cake. Or any fruit cake that's been prepared and stored well.

A friend has a West Yorks WI Recipe Book from the 1970s. For one fruit cake recipe, the headnotes include something that had me nodding: "Don't even think of cutting into this cake before 6 months".

My DD loves making her own cards and presents and she would be heartbroken if told they were awful. I would never stop her doing them. She also makes a personalised birthday cards for her friends. She's 8. I am supposed to tell her that their Mums (at least those on Mumsnet) think they're shite?

Spirited your gifts sound thoughtful and beautiful and I’d love any of them.

"The thing is, no one actually likes Christmas cake."

I don't know many people who do. I buy a tiny one for OH as he is the only one in our family who likes it, and Christmas cake is one recipe where you can't really make a small one. M and S do a good bought cake.

Clandestino I don’t think you should share much of what you read on MN with an 8 year old!

I don’t think any of the comments on this thread are aimed at gifts from children (provided they washed their hands before starting on the biscuits )

In every school I've ever worked in the bin is full to the brim in the last week before Christmas.

Harsh but true.

Eating a baked bean tin cake make me want to gag but actually the photos don't look too bad.

*The thing is, nobody actually likes Christmas cake.”

Christmas cake with a slab of creamy Lancashire cheese is a thing of beauty!

I have to make an exception for the damson gin my younger sibling's MIL makes. It is divine. Sadly, supply is limited and I am too tenuous a connection to be given any regularly.

Today 02:18 Synecdoche

I was also tempted to make a painted stone nativity set.....

I’d love a painted stone nativity set if it was done well. Honestly

No loo roll holders though

Maybe people can post what they've received and other can suggest what to do with it?

chestnut purée (I don’t know what to do with this) I've made these with tinned puree (also stuffing).
Cake. www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/155632/chocolate-and-chestnut-truffle-torte
Soup www.merchant-gourmet.com/recipes/recipe/chestnut-soup/ or www.bbc.com/food/recipes/chestnutroastedbutte_90627

5 types of chutney with stuff I wouldn’t choose in (I have 4 types of chutney I LOVE and I just don’t enjoy others, especially ones featuring courgettes)
I tend to stir spoonfuls of random chutneys like this into curries or random leftovers. They can also work if blitzed into leftover lentils to make a sandwich spread.

honey which is like concrete (and it did start like this, it’s not just because it’s been in the back of the cupboard forever) If you put the honey into a warm oven it will loosen enough to use it in a cake recipe. Pain d'epices www.wildyeastblog.com/pain-depices/

Anything first seen on NoTHS and now copied (badly) by mums with too much time and too little skill.

Maybe I'm the ghost of Christmas past on the thread but what is it about ADULTS that they actually need gifts bought for them? Don't you buy yourself what you need throughout the year?

I've never had a 'shitty homemade gift' because if somebody makes me a gift, it's not ever shitty. I find that bloody awful. Even if I don't need or want it, I'd never be so dismissive of something that somebody's made for me.

Better that you stop being so spineless in RL then and just say politely, "No gifts please". But you won't, will you? Urgh.