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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my SIL to do this...

118 replies

crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:10

But if a back story.

My DH and his DB haven’t spoken to each other in 40 years even when he came to our wedding he didn’t speak to my DH!!

My FIL is in hospital but is being allowed to attend my daughters wedding next Saturday. The problem we have is getting him there.
We didn’t invite SIL and BIL to the wedding, (they didn’t invite us to theirs) but this morning I have sent her a text asking if she will get FIL ready and escort him to church and then take him home. I have offered to pay for taxi etc. But now I think that is a bit cheeky, she hasn’t replied yet!
AIBU to ask her to you think 🤔

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 11/08/2018 09:11

It was more than a bit cheeky, yes.

I wouldn’t expect a reply.

PositiveVibez · 11/08/2018 09:13

Cheek AF

Fatted · 11/08/2018 09:13

Definitely cheeky! You're basically telling them they're not good enough for the wedding, but good enough for a taxi service.

I'd make alternative arrangements.

PositiveVibez · 11/08/2018 09:13

A reverse?

Spam88 · 11/08/2018 09:14

Oh wow, so cheeky 🙈

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 11/08/2018 09:14

Definitely a reverse!

DuggeeHugs · 11/08/2018 09:15

In this case, yes, I do think YABU.

Could you get him ready and have a groomsman/usher/relative assigned to assisting him for the rest of the day?

Bobbiepin · 11/08/2018 09:15

Definitely reverse.

Original poster
crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:16

I see what you all mean, but I feel they are doing it for my FIL he will be so sad if he can’t see his granddaughter get married. I knew I shouldn’t have sent it😂

OP posts:
choli · 11/08/2018 09:16

Don't hold your breath. How did you even have a cell phone number to text after 40 years?

Original poster
crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:16

what is a reverse?

OP posts:
Original poster
crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:17

I have been texting her about my FIL illness and we have spoken on the odd occasions.

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 11/08/2018 09:18

You are secretly your SIL and (rightly) angry that your SIL has asked such a shitty favour and you want people to agree with you.

LyndorCake · 11/08/2018 09:19

Yikes, this won't end well

Bobbiepin · 11/08/2018 09:19

Anyway if you're so desperate order a car service and pay for it. Apologise to your SIL.

PositiveVibez · 11/08/2018 09:19

A reverse is when you pose the problem from the opposite angle. I.e. It's actually your SIL who has asked you to do this.

Basically done when the OP wants to be proven right.

Original poster
crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:20

Oh no I am not I see what it means now, no I deffo the cheeky sod that asked😂

OP posts:
Original poster
crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:20

Can’t just send a car, he needs assistance.

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 11/08/2018 09:23

Google disabled taxi service. If you want it enough you'll find something suitable. Cheeky sod is putting it lightly.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 11/08/2018 09:24

Would a local care agency supply someone for a few hours to help him maybe?

Singlenotsingle · 11/08/2018 09:25

Why can't you do it yourself? I know you'll be busy with dd's wedding, but it is rather important isn't it? Otherwise hire a carer or nurse to escort him.

Original poster
crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:25

Everyone is looking at it from the wrong angle😂. Surely it is doing my FIL the favour, if he could he would have asked her I bet. (Trying to justify myself here!!)

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 11/08/2018 09:26

Send another message apologising for your first text. Explain thay you would really like FIL to attend wedding and if she has any ideas / suggestions how to make this happen then you will be eternally grateful (and you will also pay any costs!)

Original poster
crazydoglady6867 · 11/08/2018 09:27

I will look into a carer for the day, if I don’t hear back from her. I won’t hold my breath after this thread😂

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 11/08/2018 09:28

Surely it is doing my FIL the favour, if he could he would have asked her I bet

Is your FIL not able to get involved in any of the arrangements? Sorry if I’ve missed anything about his condition