To ask my SIL to do this...

[crazydoglady6867]

But if a back story.

My DH and his DB haven’t spoken to each other in 40 years even when he came to our wedding he didn’t speak to my DH!!

My FIL is in hospital but is being allowed to attend my daughters wedding next Saturday. The problem we have is getting him there.
We didn’t invite SIL and BIL to the wedding, (they didn’t invite us to theirs) but this morning I have sent her a text asking if she will get FIL ready and escort him to church and then take him home. I have offered to pay for taxi etc. But now I think that is a bit cheeky, she hasn’t replied yet!
AIBU to ask her to you think 🤔

That's very kind of her. It would be nice to invite her to stay if she would like to.

I wonder whether we’ll see the OP again now she has had her imaginary text.

rudey you are a bit late to the party!

I think mumsnet has a place in society but if you are stressed or suffering any MH issues I wouldn’t post on here. If anyone can bother themselves to read this thread the whole way through they will see what anonymity can do to what a person is willing to say to someone.

I went from feeling a bit cheeky to thinking I was the worst DIL in the world trying to force my FIL off his deathbed to a party so I could feel better, also for some reason I turned into a MOBZilla in a few minutes.

Mmmm to continue with mumsnet or not that is next weeks task!!! Right now I am busy making wedding favours as I am a right interfering MOBZilla😄

Favours? Homemade? Don’t read the wedding thread then!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/flouncers_corner

I often find the bride`s father is surplus to requirements as the bride gets ready. He should go and help his own dad dress and bring him to your house and he could go with someone from there. Obviously that is too sensible an answer!

tiny another one too late to the party

Oh well I still think I had a good solution for others who may have an issue in the future!

It's good that your SIL is doing it, I'd do it for my SIL in that situation; for her just as much as for FIL. I really wouldn't let the brothers keep feuding though; unless somebody caused a death or stole from the other it needs to be resolved. You and your SIL can get that sorted out by each informing your respective husband that it's time to stop being childish.

Just out of curiosity, would you do the equivalent, or rather your DH, if they ask you to pick him up and hand about and take him home again?

birds absolutely, no question that’s why I thought it appropriate to ask.

Busy as you undoubtedly are I suggest you send your SIL some flowers right away to say thanks. Even if for some reason he can’t come she’s been bloody decent to agree to help.

It's nice that differences are forgotten to make sure FIL has the best end years that he can.

It's a shame that, that can't be used to heal the rift, unless, as said, there was a really major reason.

What struck me is the women in this situation are sorting out the problen and it's neither of your dads.

What's the betting this would even be on your DHs radar if it was the other way round.

sandy. You are spot on there!

I find it strange how people these days are so keen and quick to take offence at anything without considering the bigger picture. If I was your SIL in this equation my response would have been the same as hers, because it is not about her or her DH it is about the FIL who wants to attend his granddaugher's wedding & cannot do so without assistance. Being an adult sometimes means putting your own feelings & ego aside in order to help a loved one when they are ill or elderly, it's called compassion & sometimes seems in short supply on Mumsnet. I'm glad your SIL & FIL will make the wedding Op. As you say, if you don't ask, your don't get.

iwanted Thankyou for your kind words.

So glad she said yes! Definitely think you were right to ask, it's important for your FIL and DD that he is there. Have a wonderful day! 🥂

I would also have done it as your SIL.

I hope you get her a bottle of wine and some flowers as well as covering petrol money.