To not let DD go on this holiday?

[Ziggzagg]

DD just messaged asking if she can go on holiday with her friends family. I asked how much and she replied £1500 and going in August (as in 3weeks away)!

Who just has access to £1500?

Shouldn't the Mum have discussed it with me before getting DD excited? I've said no now but that's cheeky isn't it?

How old is your DD? If she's a teenager I can see why her friend told her before you were asked but if she's younger YANBU.

Either way that's ridiculous money for a holiday and such late notice! The inviting parent should have known better to suggest something so extravagant so late.

Her parents should definitely have rang you!! Is the friends parents quite wealthy?

Some people do have access to £1500 just like that. The friends family asked, you can't afford it, fine. But she didn't know you wouldn't be able to did she?

Has someone dropped out at the last minute? Otherwise that's daft not to have mentioned it before! Where is it to?

Where the hell are they going - Mustique? You are definitely not BU.

The friends family haven't asked me!! They have asked DD!! She's trying to get me to pay it!! She's only 11 and they're going to Florida!!

I think those who do have access to that kind of money at such short notice should think about the fact that's not the situation for many, many other people. I actually think its really rude and it doesn't sit right with me that someone thinks its ok to let a child get excited about something like this when they clearly have no idea about the other parents financial situation. Talk about putting someone on the spot

Maybe with more notice, we're not poor but can't just pull £1500 out of a hat! That's a months bills!

Is this a thing, inviting children on holiday and asking parents to stump up proper money? My eldest is just reaching the age where some of her friends are going on holiday with a friend's family but I'd assumed it was the inviting family's treat bar a bit of spending money on the basis they wanted company for their DC and once the accommodation is booked another kid doesn't add much to the price. These are UK holidays though.

That is so out of order. I would be fuming if a family got my daughters hopes up like that.

Apparently so! I was going to bring said friend on holiday with us but rethinking that now

It rather sounds like they want your dd on board to sub the price of their holiday!

Money aside the other parents should have contacted the OP first before getting DDs hopes up.

Ask her where she plans to get the £1500 from?

And she's 11 - it would be a big fat no regardless of the amount.

@longestlurker that's my thought tbh. If you invite your child's friend on holiday you pay with the exception of spends. People will turn around and say 'why should they pay for another child's holiday'... Well don't invite them then, its that simple. It would be different if 12 months in advance there had been talks about this but this is ridiculous really.

Apart from not having the money I wouldn't let my dd go away with a family whose parents didn't bother to contact me first - what else may they think is appropriate?

Could this be an error and result of a conversation between kids not actually involving the other parent?

Well there is that too!! I wouldn't want her to go but wouldn't deny her the opportunity to go if we could afford to!! They have been friends for years.

Tell her she can go...but she will to pay back 10k.

11yo? That’s really out of order

No she was texting me while I was at college saying the dad was checking prices and they were booking tonight so she needed a decision right then

have*

11? What an earth are the parents on? YANBU.

I think it is very unreasonable to ask an 11 year old to go on holiday with you without checking with 11 year old's parents first.

£1500 for a late notice flight to Florida sounds about right so I doubt they’re trying it on cost wise. That said, it’s ridiculous of the friend’s parents to tell your DD she can come without discussing it with your first. Even if you did have the money, I take it they are quite wealthy and assuming everyone has those kind of funds on tap, you might have reservations about letting your 11YO travel transatlantic without you. So YANBU to be annoyed. If you’re happy to take the other girl on holiday you could approach the parents and say that she’s welcome to join you instead. The girls will likely be just as excited about that and will soften the blow for your DD that Florida is a flat out no.

that is piss poor. 11 is far too young.
we have a large age gap and dd is 10. we were recently saying in the next year we would invite a friend as company for our daughter. it would be a week on a holiday where the price difference is minimal. we would pay, dd would get more fun out of the holiday. full blown trip to florida? no way. 1500 sounds like just the flight and park ticket though.