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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay for baby shower?

123 replies

Eighteenmurray · 25/04/2018 22:07

My friend is having a baby shower. She’s one of my best friends so there’s no real choice but to attend. Not keen on going at all, but I’ll go for her. She’s organised it to be in a function room of a social club. She’s pleased because she’ll only have to charge £15 per head.

I thought she meant that’s all she’d have to pay, but no, that’s what she’s charging the guests to attend to cover the costs.

AIBU in thinking this is ridiculous?

OP posts:
Sprinklesinmyelbow · 25/04/2018 22:09

Why were you not keen on going in the first place?

I’m on the fence really. You pay to attend hens and so on...

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 25/04/2018 22:10

Ynbu, that is ridiculous and totally unnecessary

Thehop · 25/04/2018 22:10

I’d be pissed off, but if it was a good friend I would go and just suck it up.

BMW6 · 25/04/2018 22:11

WTF!!!!!
Who does that shit?

Emma198 · 25/04/2018 22:11

If you went out for afternoon tea or something you would pay for your own. I'm assuming the 15 is for food and drink?

PurpleDaisies · 25/04/2018 22:11

Does that include food and drink? I thought the idea was other people organised a baby shower so the mother to be shouldn’t really pay anything?

It’s not my thing at all, and I wouldn’t go to one under any circumstances. You have that option available.

tinkertailorsoldierspyy · 25/04/2018 22:12

You're paying to attend a party thrown by her?

Utterly ridiculous. Why can't she just have it at her home?

I take it she's expecting presents too?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/04/2018 22:12

£15 and buy her presents...only to then buy a present when the baby is actually born- YANBU- but this is sadly what everyone does “hey I want to celebrate me but I don’t want to pay for it” Hmm

BigPinkBall · 25/04/2018 22:12

So you have to pay her £15 plus buy her a present? I’d just have a “prior commitment” that day Wink

TidyDancer · 25/04/2018 22:13

She's organising her own baby shower and charging an entry fee? Nah, fuck that.

HannahHut · 25/04/2018 22:13

She's a CF. Baby showers are so grabby and this takes the biscuit!

Go and don't bring a gift, if she asks you where it is say you couldn't afford it after the attendance fee Grin

Ginger1982 · 25/04/2018 22:14

Hate baby showers. Not for this reason but still...who pays to go to a baby shower???

Emma198 · 25/04/2018 22:17

Who takes a gift to a shower and another when it's born?! With the exception of my sister, you get a shower gift nd that's it!

Gemini69 · 25/04/2018 22:18

Piss Off.. would be my 'get out' Grin

meditrina · 25/04/2018 22:18

She's organising her own shower?

Oh dear.

It's quite different when a group of close friends get together and work out what to do that they're happy to host (and arrange to pay for). Rather than host, who is also honouree, proposing to bill,guests for an event they attend in order to shower her with gifts.

I think I'd have diplomatic flu, and say you'll bring the gift (that you wouid have brought to the shower) once baby has arrived.

Original poster
Eighteenmurray · 25/04/2018 22:19

Sprinkles for personal reasons I don’t fancy being around loads of babies and pregnant women. If it was anyone else’s I wouldn’t go.

The £15 covers the room hire and a buffet. The bar will be a normal pay bar. Emma I wouldn’t mind paying for myself if it was an afternoon tea, no, but this feels cheekier somehow. No one would dream of doing it for any other sort of party.

Purple the mother to be chose the venue & style of the affair. Her sister is now organising the final details such as theme etc.

OP posts:
croprotationinthe13thcentury · 25/04/2018 22:21

Fuck that, cheeky fucker. My god, some people really are grabby.

PleaseAndThanks · 25/04/2018 22:21

I wouldn’t dream of hosting a baby shower and charging for it.

If I were organising one for someone else (as is more traditional) I would consider options where there is a price per head but something more formal like afternoon tea. It seems less cheeky if it’s not the mum to be asking for the cash too IMO.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 25/04/2018 22:22

Well I guess she’s organising her own shower because her friends aren’t interested in celebrating with her. Poor sod.

I agree, afternoon tea is a common baby shower and you pay for that.

No one buys presents for the shower and again when baby is born BTw

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 25/04/2018 22:23

This happened to me except it wasn't even my best friend - it was DP's cousin who I have met about 3 times in my life! Invited to pay £15 to have the honour of then buying someone I barely know a gift. No thanks!

Katjolo · 25/04/2018 22:23

Ridiculous!

Emma198 · 25/04/2018 22:23

I agree, her use of the word charge is poor but if she was a good friend I'd probably justify it to myself by saying I'd spend more if we all went out. It is usually someone other than mum to be organising though too, less cheeky for someone elsev (who isn't getting all the gifts!) to ask x

Sparklesocks · 25/04/2018 22:23

That is weird, every baby shower I’ve been too has been either at the Mum to be’s house or her Mum’s/sister’s/friend’s place, much more low key and intimate!

Original poster
Eighteenmurray · 25/04/2018 22:32

When the ‘official’ invitations go out I imagine they’ll be from her sister. My friend just told me what was being planned. There’s no doubt that I’m going, I just think it’s an unbelievable way in which to do it.

Well I guess she’s organising her own shower because her friends aren’t interested in celebrating with her. Poor sod. I’m delighted for her but I’m not at all interested in organising a party for her, no.

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 25/04/2018 22:35

Baby showers are bad enough, then to add a fee for attending, on top of having to buy a gift pre baby arriving. Just yuck Hmm