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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave him upstairs all night?

103 replies

Sandinplaces · 24/02/2018 20:12

I've had a horrible few days. I've just finished an on call shift, and DH has been horrible all day.

I made meatballs in the slow cooker last night before work and he decided to go and get himself a curry- fine. But he doesn't want them tonight either because he's 'making a point'

He's making a point that we can't buy a house because I'm an agency nurse and have to have 6 months payslips before we're considered for a mortgage. He's angry that due to sickness, the 6 months only starts now.

He's angry Newcastle lost and England played badly, he's angry I've not been home all day because I've been called in a few times.

He's angry that we have no money ( we have 9k in savings but because we're £50 into our overdraft he's upset, he likes a 'buffer' of 1k by payday) so we 'have no money'

So he's gone upstairs to work and has been upstairs for 4 hours. Aibu to eat dinner alone and leave him up there?

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 24/02/2018 20:13

yes, please yourself op.
enjoy your evening.thanks]

Slartybartfast · 24/02/2018 20:13
Thanks
LIZS · 24/02/2018 20:14

He sounds controlling and nasty.

KeepingMySpreadsheetUpToDate · 24/02/2018 20:14

Ltb

frieda909 · 24/02/2018 20:16

He’s angry that you have no money but he’s happy to go spending your overdraft on takeaways when he has a lovely home cooked dinner waiting?

He sounds like a twat. Sorry OP Flowers

Original poster
Sandinplaces · 24/02/2018 20:16

I'm in the living room, going to put the fire on. And have some wine with my meatballs

OP posts:
Sprinklesinmyelbow · 24/02/2018 20:19

Of course YANBU. Sounds like you’ve both had a bad day.

However I really don’t think rejecting meatballs, being upset about sports and wanting a mortgage makes him controlling!

Knittedfairies · 24/02/2018 20:19

If he's gone upstairs to work, he won't want you to disturb him, will he? Leave him there; he knows the way downstairs.

Enjoy the peace, and your wine🍷🍷🍷

SharronNeedles · 24/02/2018 20:19

I must say we only needed 3 months worth of payslips for out mortgage :)

JeReviens · 24/02/2018 20:20

You know life should be nicer than this AND you are worth more than this. He sounds like a nasty shit who is not on your side. You do not have to live like this. Flowers

Wannabecitygirl · 24/02/2018 20:20

Absolutely.
Eat in peace. With wine (providing you aren’t still on call)

Idontdowindows · 24/02/2018 20:21

Wow, you enjoy your meatballs and wine, and he can enjoy being a whingebag and whine.

Blooming heck, does he have form for this kind of behaviour?

Biggreygoose · 24/02/2018 20:22

Tell him to grow a pair and act like an adult.

DP is a foreign, and not on indefinite leave to remain. Until she has that whatever she earns doesn't count towards a mortgage.

It's a 5+ year slog to get idlr .

6 months is nothing.

BigChocFrenzy · 24/02/2018 20:23

He sounds like a sulky child

Pandoraslastchance · 24/02/2018 20:24

wow he sounds like a right muppet. So he is pissed off that you were ill? yet he is happy to be spending money on a takeaway whilst you are supposedly saving for a home? Id put a film on, sprawl on the whole sofa and ignore the grumpy arse fucker :D

Lucked · 24/02/2018 20:25

I was going to suggest wine. Now you just have to find something to watch that you love and he hates then when he does surface and finds you sitting there with wine, fire and film you can be all oblivious and ask if it was productive night.

MrsElvis · 24/02/2018 20:25

He sounds like a twig. Leave him to sulk in his curry fumes

Original poster
Sandinplaces · 24/02/2018 20:26

Think he's just having a shitty day and taking it out on me- which isn't on and for once I'm not pandering to him. I've even put the wood burner on and as he turned off the heating because it costs a fortune to run. So I'm nice and warm now and he'll be freezing his arse off upstairs. I know it's petty but I'm leaving him there

OP posts:
frasier · 24/02/2018 20:27

Anyone who sulks because of a football match is a twat imo!

Myfavouritechild · 24/02/2018 20:28

So he wastes money on a curry when you have already made food. He need to grow up and maybe learn how the process of saving money works!

Sandsnake · 24/02/2018 20:28

It's not on! Leave him there and as you say - don't pander to it.

I hope you enjoy the meatballs and that he cops on to himself sooner rather than later.

fusushumi · 24/02/2018 20:31

manchild
enjoy your dinner and leave him to sulk

saladdays66 · 24/02/2018 20:31

Is he often like that? He sounds very angry...

VladmirsPoutine · 24/02/2018 20:32

Is today just a one off? You say the only difference is that today you're not pandering to him. So crack on with your wine and meatballs but what about next time? Is this a man you want to buy a house with and be committed to potentially for the rest of your life?

Yellowshadeofgreen · 24/02/2018 20:32

I've even put the wood burner on and as he turned off the heating because it costs a fortune to run. So I'm nice and warm now and he'll be freezing his arse off upstairs. I know it's petty but I'm leaving him there

You are my kind of sulker OP.

Sounds like he is having a shitty day. Let him get over it and don’t get sucked in. You have the right idea.

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