To leave him upstairs all night?

[Sandinplaces]

I've had a horrible few days. I've just finished an on call shift, and DH has been horrible all day.

I made meatballs in the slow cooker last night before work and he decided to go and get himself a curry- fine. But he doesn't want them tonight either because he's 'making a point'

He's making a point that we can't buy a house because I'm an agency nurse and have to have 6 months payslips before we're considered for a mortgage. He's angry that due to sickness, the 6 months only starts now.

He's angry Newcastle lost and England played badly, he's angry I've not been home all day because I've been called in a few times.

He's angry that we have no money ( we have 9k in savings but because we're £50 into our overdraft he's upset, he likes a 'buffer' of 1k by payday) so we 'have no money'

So he's gone upstairs to work and has been upstairs for 4 hours. Aibu to eat dinner alone and leave him up there?

YWNBU to leave him upstairs for the rest of his life tbf.

Are you sure you want to buy a house with this man who is angry you were sick, is angry you are working, is happy for you to sit in the cold, and is angry HE is spending money on take aways when you cooked him dinner...?

Are you sure?

You might regret buying a house with someone like this. I would ask him why he thinks you'd like to share living space with a spoilt brat who sulks and wastes money while complaining about lack of it.

If he can think of a good reason (one beyond "you love me", as that may not last as long as he wants) then go ahead and consider it.

I think 6m breathing space is what you need. As you're not a sulky spoilt brat, he doesn't need to think.

Newcastle drew, they didn't lose. He's BU as at least they got a point!

I hope he learns his lesson OP.

Leave him upstairs until he is mature enough to apologise and behave (like a 12 yr old).

But that doesn't answer the question. Do you want to stay in this marriage and buy a house with this person?

Do you think once you've bought a house it will all be plain sailing?

I can’t get beyond the fact that he has turned the heating off in this freezing weather! What a miserly tosser!

Anger management?

It won’t get better.

So sorry for you 💐

It won't get better. My father was an angry sulked and got worse as he grew older. One of the many reasons I prefer to live without another human being - better than being tied to a stomping toddler of adult age.

Biggreygoose that’s incorrect. Your dp can apply for a mortgage, not every lender will do it but it is possible. See a good broker.

Does he usually expect that when he storms off upstairs, you will go up after him and placate him and persuade him to come back down again? He’s a grown man, not a 7 year old.
He chose to go up the stairs and he chooses when to come back down again. Anything else is a bit odd.
I would pretend not to notice his moods but., if accused of ignoring him, would say that I was respecting his choice to have some space.

Me neither Missy. I’d be putting it straight back on. What a miserable twat! Sod him!

Do you really want to commit to buying a house with him?

He sounds like a spoilt, childish little brat. Passive aggressive, petulant, and ridiculous.

If you have no kids, I would leave if I were you.

He's upset that you being an agency nurse doesn't give you the right amount of payslips despite agency nursing paying far more than a permanent post.

He sounds very short sighted.

“Leave him upstairs” what is the alternative?
Are you supposed to coax him down?

Sulkers are extremely unattractive, childish and passive aggressive...and like every toddler tantrum, best ignored until they get it out of their system....or permanently.

I've finished off the wine. He's smelt the food and was upset I hadn't made him any, but I told him I wasn't his mother and he's an adult with a professional job.

I've been on call today because they decided to open 2 theatres and we had to do a lot of operations today. And he needs to understand that although it's agency and I get paid a lot I can't turn down shifts when ever I feel like it :/

9k in savings is not ‘having no money’!
Tell him to transfer some across and start smiling!
He is being mean.

Mmmm meatballs

Why is he upset when he turned down the meal you made and said he was getting a Chinese? Jesus, what a man child.

YANBU. Id give him a choice. If he leaves you now he might find someone else who qualifies for a mortgage within 6 months so speed up the house buying process but to maximise his chances of this getting him a house sooner he really needs to leave NOW. Obviously a divorce would take longer but that’s fine as he obviously is a long way from ready to swear to someone ‘in sickness and in health’ as he didn’t even mean it with you. By the way im not saying Ltb just that this is the sort of conversation I’d be having. So no I’d not be trying to coax angry sulkface down from the cold! If he came into the nice heated room I’d probably tell him to piss off, he had his takeaway and I’m havign a lovely warm room, we all make choices.

I’d divorce him personally

What a pathetic whinger. Glad you pointed out work had to be taken when it is offered especially as am agency nurse.

Enjoy the wine, if there is an additional bed in the house toddle off to that and chat about the situation tomorrow ..... if it hadn’t been forgotten by then.

I'm 26, he's 30.. things have to change. I won't stand for him
Being a tit any longer

I have a husband who makes me feel like I have committed a crime, when he has a bad day too. I have been married to him for nearly 40 years, and he still does it to me. I have tried talking to him about the way he makes me feel, but he always excuses himself by saying that I am imagining his nasty tone of voice, and accusative remarks. I feel your pain.
His reaction is that of someone struggling to cope with their own insecurity.

That's what they all say. Have a look at the Relationships board. You are 26 FGS. You don't need any of this shit in your life.