To leave him upstairs all night?

[Sandinplaces]

I've had a horrible few days. I've just finished an on call shift, and DH has been horrible all day.

I made meatballs in the slow cooker last night before work and he decided to go and get himself a curry- fine. But he doesn't want them tonight either because he's 'making a point'

He's making a point that we can't buy a house because I'm an agency nurse and have to have 6 months payslips before we're considered for a mortgage. He's angry that due to sickness, the 6 months only starts now.

He's angry Newcastle lost and England played badly, he's angry I've not been home all day because I've been called in a few times.

He's angry that we have no money ( we have 9k in savings but because we're £50 into our overdraft he's upset, he likes a 'buffer' of 1k by payday) so we 'have no money'

So he's gone upstairs to work and has been upstairs for 4 hours. Aibu to eat dinner alone and leave him up there?

@VladmirsPoutine I've already married him so kind of committed in a big way already!

Leave him to it. Don't reward him by trying to get him to come down. He should have learned this lesson when he was a child.

Have more wine.

Do you really want to tie yourself to a commitment as big as a house with someone who punishes you by sulking over every piddly little thing that goes wrong for him?

Why?

I'm angry today too. I'm angry because I'm pregnant and feel sick and just want to lie on my face all day, not watch our toddler. I'm angry because I don't have and can't get a job because we live in a country I only moved to to facilitate dps career. I'm angry because my own career plans were utterly destroyed when our unexpected first pregnancy made it basically impossible for me to continue university.

My dp cooked dinner tonight. I thanked him for cooking, told him I loved him, and gave him a kiss.

Feeling angry because there are times life doesn't go as planned, or things happen you can't control is normal. Taking it out on your spouse who has done nothing wrong is completely unacceptable.

Enjoy your wine and dinner. Sorry your husband is being an asshole.

Sorry, just seen he's DH not DP. Very sorry.

I know it's petty but I'm leaving him there

It most certainly is not petty to leave a sulking adult alone in a cold room of his own choosing and making

Seriously OP, he sounds like my ex. Both the sulking and the getting pissy that my circumstances didn't feed into his finance/mortgage related ideals. He'd overlook his own actions (he had a nasty habit that cost us an absolute fortune) but browbeat me for going for a few drinks with friends every couple of months.

Leave him to it.

Better still, maybe just leave him if you have to deal with this shit often.

"i've even put the wood burner on and as he turned off the heating because it costs a fortune to run. So I'm nice and warm now and he'll be freezing his arse off upstairs. I know it's petty but I'm leaving him there"

Hahaha, nicely done OP

Sorry you married him

Crikey..I didnt even realise Newcastle had lost even though OH was listening to the radio (and I did hear him being animate dta times.)

Thats because he doesn't sulk if they loose or he would be sulking lots

Sounds a complete twat be a long life with him

Leave him upstairs or just leave him? He's angry and punishing you for such shitty reasons.

He's angry you went to work.

He's angry because of the type of work you do.

He's angry because you've been sick.

He's angry because of sports.

He's angry because you don't have as much money in the bank as he would like.

He's angry because it costs too much to keep warm.

He's not so angry that he can't spend money on a take-away for himself even when you cooked a meal though, is he?

And he's punishing you and sulked for at least four hours. And he's spiteful enough to expect you to freeze, while he's probably warm in bed.

I'm not usually a LTB person but he sounds like hard work and is he really worth it?

You say he's making a point, but what point? Don't go to work and leave him on his own at the weekend? Get a better job? Don't be ill? That somehow you are responsible for overpaid ball kickers pissing him off? That you're responsible for spending the money that he used on take-away food? That you deserve to be cold?

The only point he's made is that he's a sulky fucker who needs to grow up.

Enjoy your meatballs & wine, OP and like virtually everyone else has said, leave him to his sulk. You’ve done nothing wrong & have worked your backside off all day. Feet up & enjoy your evening

Enjoy your wine in peace, he is being a knob head.

Enjoy your meatballs, wine and nice warm fire. I’m sure he’ll remember that he’s an adult eventually!
I’d whatsapp a nice photo to him of your warm feet in front of the fire next to your glass of wine (but I’m childish like that!)! X

He sounds a real prize OP.......... I'd leave him up there and bolt the door to keep him in . His shitty day isn't your fault.

let him soak, he is clearly frustrated with himself more that about you, and you have to face the consecuentes, ( as it might happened naturally to us women too if it was us frustrated) the main reason is that (maybe, i don't want to speak for your him) is that he has no monetary control, he fells usless and his point is he is angry, to be honest you can just leave him soak into himself, let him be there as many hours as he can be, he needs to think, and when he rans out of money for more curry he will have to cook for himself or eat the yummy meatballs, mean while, have a cup of tea. sleep and get ready for the next work shift.

Well. You have a choice in life.

Put up with it or LTB.

Meh. Leave the fucker up there. Mean, miserly git.

You aren't his verbal and emotional punchbag. I'd get the sulking nipped in the bud if i were you. Years of this shit will wear you down OP.

How long have you been with him, OP? This should be the happy time. No kids and starting out on life together. How do you think he'll treat you when you have real problems, like ill children, losing a job, unexpected disability/illness? You may be 'tied' by marriage but being tied financially is actually worse.

You have some choices.
Let him continue to behave like a manchild. Won't that be fun when you have actual children?
Leave him. I would.
Or don't take any crap from him. That sounds like you've started doing that. Don't back down and he might, possibly grow up.

Leave the bugger to it! Enjoy your meal and let him stew! You are not in the wrong here.

I'd leave him upstairs for the rest of his life tbh.

He sounds like a horrible man with a massive resentment against you.

I personally wouldn't buy a house with this man, I'd take my share of the loot and buy a place without him. He can stay where he is with his takeaways. The wanker.

Jesus. If a woman did even one of those things people would be suggesting it was her time of the month...

I'd leave him upstairs.
I would also be asking myself if I want to commit further by buying a house with this person.

You said, for once you're not pandering to him. So does he do this often then?

He sounds truly horrible actually. I wouldn't buy a house with him, be easier to divorce him if you don't have assets to split.