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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another hen do one!

116 replies

Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:09

What are people's thoughts on inviting people to a hen do that will cost circa £200 for 1 night before travel etc?

A bit of background. I'm one of 3 bridesmaids; the other 2 plus the bride think this is fine.

It's an event you could attend for about £50 but the additional cost is to doing it in hospitality (no free drink!)

No one is especially well off but not on the breadline either.

Is it too much to ask or will people be ok if we ask?

I'm concerned if the bridesmaids try to arrange this and it's deemed unreasonable we'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

TBH, I don't understand why we can't do the cheap and cheerful non-hospitality version.

OP posts:
doesthislookoddtoyou · 22/02/2018 22:10

You want to ask people to pay 200 quid for something worth 50? Why would they do that?

fabulous01 · 22/02/2018 22:13

I know people go abroad etc and I am not a kill joy but that is a lot of money
Dies that include hotel, travel, and spending

Is the wedding local? Or is that extra cost too

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:14

I guess it would be a different experience between the 2 options, just not £150 worth of a difference.

I just keep think what else I, or anyone else, could do with £150!

OP posts:
Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:16

It doesn't include anything other than the event so additional costs will depend on each persons logistics.

Likewise wise the actual wedding; lots of uni friends who are all over the country (hen weekend is about 3 months before wedding)

OP posts:
doesthislookoddtoyou · 22/02/2018 22:18

No way would I pay 200 quid for something I could get for 50, plus all costs on top of that, for one night. Not in a million years.

alibongo5 · 22/02/2018 22:20

£200 before travel etc? How much is the "travel, etc".

I don't think I'd pay that - unless it was something I especially wanted to do anyway - and I can't think what that would be for a hen night!

Oh and what do you get for the hospitality option if not even a drink!?

teaiseverything · 22/02/2018 22:20

Far too much. I miss the days when a hen do was a night out and you'd spend 50 quid max including food on the way home.

Sarsparella · 22/02/2018 22:21

No, do the £50 ticket or you’ll end up with hardly anyone there

Or - could you give guests the option to choose?

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:21

Just food I think- you'll only get the same access to the main event as far as I know.

OP posts:
ItsNachoCheese · 22/02/2018 22:23

Id do the £50 ticket option or decline

alibongo5 · 22/02/2018 22:23

Go on - give us a hint what "the main event" is? Music gig?

Leeds2 · 22/02/2018 22:25

I would be uncomfortable with this if I was one of the organisers.

BUT I think it is OK as long as the actual costs are set out in the invitation, so hens can decline if they wish. And not to make it uncomfortable for them if they do decline.

AnnaleeP · 22/02/2018 22:26

No way would I spend £200 on tickets for an event. It would be the £50 option or nothing I'm afraid. Especially if there's drinks and transport on top.

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:27

Too outing and very boring ali

It's literally a choice between £50 to see the main event

Or £200 to see the main event with dinner on a plate as opposed to a greasy burger van!

OP posts:
AnnaleeP · 22/02/2018 22:27

Are you going to the races?

Callamia · 22/02/2018 22:27

It depends what it is (what IS it?), and what the hospitality actually is...

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:28

Ok, it's a concert.

OP posts:
YellowMakesMeSmile · 22/02/2018 22:28

I'd not pay £200 for a hen night, it's just not worth it.

However I paid for my hen night and covered all costs, all guests had to do was turn up. I didn't feel comfortable making them pay for my wedding events and have never understood the need for expensive hen nights or weekends etc.

RavenLG · 22/02/2018 22:28

Why are you doing the hospitality option? Because you want to? What would the bridge actually prefer? More of her mates to be there and have a “experience” or to Go with a more expensive option for seemingly no reason?

I’ve got a hen coming up and all the ideas seem to be “we’re not changing this because we (bridesmaids) love it!” .. half isn’t even the brides cup of tea so sometimes I think moh can get a little power mad.

RavenLG · 22/02/2018 22:29

Bride not bridge

ClashCityRocker · 22/02/2018 22:30

If it's a concert I wouldn't want to have a meal with it, I don't think.

And certainly not a meal that's costing £150 with no drinks!

ChasedByBees · 22/02/2018 22:30

The hospitality option seems poor value. Could you not go for a meal beforehand?

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:31

Actually, just reread it, there's an arrival drink, but certainly not a bottomless bar!

OP posts:
loobybear · 22/02/2018 22:31

Ive just found out that a family member's hen do is £300 for two nights (or just under £200 if only going 1 night) in a place a half hour drive from where we all live. That's also before drink and we've been told to expect a list of fancy dress items and games that we've each to bring with us.
I won't be going. Id have no problem paying that for the wedding but im not paying that for a hen do just down the road.

RedWineAllMine · 22/02/2018 22:31

It's too much, if I'd of been invited I'd of refused. I've refused to go on some hen do's because they are too much. Why can't people just make do with a night out or whatever.
Wedding craziness. I don't understand when a Bride gets married, why others have to get sucked into the deep lunging money pit. Just for one day, a day that is forgotten about soon enough.

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