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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another hen do one!

116 replies

Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:09

What are people's thoughts on inviting people to a hen do that will cost circa £200 for 1 night before travel etc?

A bit of background. I'm one of 3 bridesmaids; the other 2 plus the bride think this is fine.

It's an event you could attend for about £50 but the additional cost is to doing it in hospitality (no free drink!)

No one is especially well off but not on the breadline either.

Is it too much to ask or will people be ok if we ask?

I'm concerned if the bridesmaids try to arrange this and it's deemed unreasonable we'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

TBH, I don't understand why we can't do the cheap and cheerful non-hospitality version.

OP posts:
teaiseverything · 22/02/2018 22:32

Beyonce herself would want to be suspended from the ceiling, feeding me pasta, while singing "Halo" for £200.

8DaysAWeek · 22/02/2018 22:33

Been here. The bride and other 2 BMs (the three of them friends from school, me a friend of the bride from uni) thought their elaborate plans were reasonable. Most hens came, though bitched about the cost. I felt generally awkward about asking strangers to spend so much! In the end though it was undeniably a bloody good weekend so everyone was happy.

I guess as long as the money is worth it then it'll be fine. If people can't afford to spend £200 they won't go, if they can then you just have to make sure it's a kickass night.

Weedsnseeds1 · 22/02/2018 22:33

Guessing it's something like going to the races?
Do the cheap version and take a picnic.

Sarsparella · 22/02/2018 22:33

£150 just for a meal is ridiculous, and I bet it’s also be a bland mass catered dinner and I bet it’s chicken in a sauce with potatoes

Do you get to meet the group or anything? I don’t get why you’d pay that much

ClashCityRocker · 22/02/2018 22:34

Also bearing in mind different tastes etc, you could be asking them to spend £200 to attend a concert of someone they can't stand....

Which for fifty quid I'd suck up.

£200? I'd want to be doing something good.

PaperdollCartoon · 22/02/2018 22:34

Argh!!! Why do people do this? Why has this become the culture? I’d HATE the thought of my friends being asked to spend this on my hen do, plus all it costs to go to a wedding - hotel, outfits, present, drinks....

For £200 I want a weekend away including food and activities. Ideally I want a hen do to be a good night out with mates like it should be, not something I have to spend a shit load of money on because I don’t want to let a friend down. I hope this expensive Hen trend dies a death soon.

fabulous01 · 22/02/2018 22:34

I really feel for you having to speak up when the bride and the others think it is ok....

SeraphinaDombegh · 22/02/2018 22:36

Absolutely no way on earth would I pay that for a single night out BEFORE drinks. And I'd judge the people organising it too. Sorry.

SunnySeaShell · 22/02/2018 22:37

Definitely not, you're setting yourself up for a whole load of grief and hassle from people about the cost.

NewImprovedNinja · 22/02/2018 22:37

Wow, that's bonkers. Mind you, I'd never waste money on hen do's abroad and similar nonsense.
My hen do was a meal in a local pub and I had to be persuaded into doing that.

Knittedfairies · 22/02/2018 22:42

Too much!

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:42

To be fair it is a concert 90% minimum f the hens will be happy about- nothing too random- it's just the extra cost over what we could do it for that sticks in my throat.

£150 times the guest list is literally thousands of pounds.

OP posts:
Mumsnut · 22/02/2018 22:43

It's Ed Sheeran, isn't it ...

greendale17 · 22/02/2018 22:45

I would never pay £200 for a hen party

Sparklesocks · 22/02/2018 22:45

I have paid £200-250 for 2 nights stay, activities and the kitty etc for a hen - sorry I wouldn’t pay £200 for one night and one activity worth £50!

speakout · 22/02/2018 22:45

If I was a potential guest then I would prefer the £200 option.

Then I would have the perfect get out card.

I would rather have root canal work done than go to a hen do.

expatinscotland · 22/02/2018 22:46

Too much money. I'd decline. What kind of hen is a concert, anyhow? Why not just go out for a meal and a pub crawl?

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:47

sparkle I agree, I'd happily pay £200 for a couple of nights away with a group of friends but this is literally the evening, without acomodation or travel.

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 22/02/2018 22:48

Those packages are a complete rip off. Not worth the extra money at all. The whole point is to see the artist/band, not sit in a grubby hospitality area being served a tepid meal and cheap wine whilst grinding your teeth at the cost of it. £50 or nothing for me.

HermionesRightHook · 22/02/2018 22:49

That does not sound worth it to me. It would have to be a bloody good meal in a private room with an amazing view to make it worth £150 more.

Can't you downgrade a bit and go for a great £50 meal somewhere beforehand? Still a bit lux but more respectful of other people's money.

I would not go at that price - I've got other priorities for my money. Is there an option where the hens could choose either to do the whole thing or just meet you at the concert?

CurbsideProphet · 22/02/2018 22:49

I would decline politely and privately think you were an eejit for organising such an overpriced hen do. I love my friends, but not enough to spend that amount of money.

AnnaT45 · 22/02/2018 22:50

I would put it out to a vote. It's going to be expensive when you add on travel, booze, hotel so some people will say no.

Original poster
Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:50

i would decline politely and privately think you were an eejit for organising such an overpriced hen do. I love my friends, but not enough to spend that amount of money.

That sums up my sentiments exactly!

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 22/02/2018 22:52

Far too expensive for a concert, even with the dinner etc included.

LoniceraJaponica · 22/02/2018 23:07

I think you need to put your big girl pants on and say that it is too expensive. They will try and guilt trip everyone into going and everyone will bitch abut the cost and fall out with each other.