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AIBU?

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Original poster

Another hen do one!

116 replies

Henhenhen · 22/02/2018 22:09

What are people's thoughts on inviting people to a hen do that will cost circa £200 for 1 night before travel etc?

A bit of background. I'm one of 3 bridesmaids; the other 2 plus the bride think this is fine.

It's an event you could attend for about £50 but the additional cost is to doing it in hospitality (no free drink!)

No one is especially well off but not on the breadline either.

Is it too much to ask or will people be ok if we ask?

I'm concerned if the bridesmaids try to arrange this and it's deemed unreasonable we'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

TBH, I don't understand why we can't do the cheap and cheerful non-hospitality version.

OP posts:
FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 22/02/2018 23:11

No way would I go unless it was soemthing id normally go to like a festival day ticket. I'm quite happy to pay 2-300 on a hen weekend before spending money but not one day.

CynsterBitch · 22/02/2018 23:15

I recently arranged a hen do, it was a U.K. City break, with 2 nights accomodation, 2 activities(one day one night), food at the accommodation and travel for £110 per person. They all had to pay drinks and food while out themselves. Included in that was money for sashes etc as well.
£200 each for a one night thing is a lot unless it's something really special

Petalflowers · 22/02/2018 23:17

£200 is more than a lot of festivals cost for a weekend, and more than stall seats in west end theatres. If it was for a special gig, food cand a meet-and-greet with a singer I absolutely loved, then I may, but not for one night.

RavenclawRealist · 22/02/2018 23:23

£200 without accommodation or travel I would decline! What would the bride choose? The fancy option but only a small number go or the cheaper option with everyone I'd argue for that

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 22/02/2018 23:23

Actually why not just go for lunch, then drinks before hesding to the concert id much prefer that. Making a day of it beforehand and you can play the daft games when having drinks like mr and Mrs. You could do that much much cheaper.

BackforGood · 22/02/2018 23:38

I think £150 to add on a meal is ridiculous.
However, I also think going to a concert is a bit odd for a hen weekend. Surely the point of a hen night is that you all talk and laugh together - you won't be able to do that at a concert. That's why people go for meals and go to do activities and go and stay over somewhere together. A concert (however good the artist / group is / are) doesn't allow you to do that.

alibongo5 · 22/02/2018 23:48

Ooh I don't know @backforgood - a good concert would be lots of jumping around, singing, dancing, hugging, yelling the songs out at the top of your voice - sounds great for a hen night actually. But not the extra £150 for a average meal.

emmyrose2000 · 23/02/2018 01:05

I would decline politely and privately think you were an eejit for organising such an overpriced hen do. I love my friends, but not enough to spend that amount of money

Agreed.

I doubt I'd even spend 50 on someone's pre-wedding party, let alone 200.

FlashTheSloth · 23/02/2018 03:51

Too expensive for an evening out. I wouldn't go. I paid £140 for a 3 night away Hen Weekend in the UK and it was fab and well worth the money.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/02/2018 04:21

Depending on who it was (I wouldnt go a death metal concert for example!) I would go to a concert for £50 for a hen night, I dont see the problem with that. Doesnt even have to be an act I particularly follow, live events are usually good fun and far more entertaining than wearing L Plates and drinking out of penis shaped straws.

But £200 for the same concert and chicken in a basket? Not a chance.

madsiemoomoo · 23/02/2018 06:50

No way would I go, I'm reasonably well off but £200 before drinks, transport, hotels is really taking the piss in my opinion - I understand that it's her hen do, but I really wish that people would realise that weddings/hen do's are just not as important to anyone apart from the bride! Sure I'll celebrate with you, but it doesn't mean that I'll happily £500 on a night out.

Oh and how long until the 'everyone has to pay for bride' line is trotted out?!

running3 · 23/02/2018 06:53

I wouldn't go.

Gide · 23/02/2018 06:54

I’d be declining. I just don’t get the whole mental big headedness of people thinking their mates should pay so much then probably a whole lot more for the wedding.

speakout · 23/02/2018 07:34

list of fancy dress items and games that we've each to bring with us.

Shudder.

StickThatInYourPipe · 23/02/2018 07:43

I have paid a lot of the years for hen dos but I wouldn’t pay £200 for this, sorry.

Best hen do I ever went on was an adult weekend in Butlins, £95 pp for 3 nights stay, most activities free (swimming/fair and shows etc) we are not massive drinkers so just took some for the room, had so much fun that weekend!

MiniCooperLover · 23/02/2018 07:47

I'm guessing Ed Sheeran too at Wembley. I think you should push for the £50 ticket. Hospitality will be good and a decent meal most likely but the extras will be pricey.

DancesWithOtters · 23/02/2018 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sarsparella · 23/02/2018 07:51

OP why don’t you look into restaurants that are nearby the gig venue?

Assuming it’ll be in a city centre I bet you’d be able to find a private dining room in a restaurant to go for a meal beforehand that’s loads nicer & better value - you could then work out a fixed price for people to contribute up front for their meal and wine on the table, and any extra you pay on the night

Put that together and show the others what better value for money (and better experience) you’d get nearby

MaverickSnoopy · 23/02/2018 07:53

I wouldn't go. To pay £200, only to have to pay for travel and drinks on top is too much for me. Then again the £200 would be too much for me.

You say no one is on the breadline but no one is particularly well off. In my view, to spend the best part of £300 on a hen night I'd need a pretty good disposable income to not mind parting with it. Even then you're probably looking at saving up. Some people will mind and some won't. I was invited to a hen weekend for £300 and declined because it was too much for me. Had i gone it would have reduced my budget for emergencies/Christmas/birthdays etc and that wasn't worth it to me.

It sounds like you've been outvoted so perhaps caution the others that people may not be keen on the price and leave it at that and just watch it play out.

HRTpatch · 23/02/2018 07:53

I never have and never will go on a "hen do".

Original poster
Henhenhen · 23/02/2018 08:08

I might just show the others this thread as not a single person agrees with them.

It seems the general consensus is in line with my thoughts is £200 for one night when you could do the same thing for a fraction of the cost is too much to ask.

But £200 for a hen do is not necessarily too much if what you get is good value

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 23/02/2018 08:10

All the hen dos I have been on have been a meal out and a few drinks, but they were 20 - 30 years ago before expensive and OTT hen dos became a thing.

LoniceraJaponica · 23/02/2018 08:12

"But £200 for a hen do is not necessarily too much if what you get is good value"

I think that to most people it is, yes. Not everyone can afford £200 just for one night or even a weekend.

Sarsparella · 23/02/2018 08:15

But £200 for a hen do is not necessarily too much if what you get is good value

Agreed, if for £200 you got travel, a meal, drinks & an activity over a weekend then I’d definitely consider it but for one concert ticket that worth a quarter of that price it’s just not good value for money

Only1scoop · 23/02/2018 08:18

200 pounds plus travel and expenses no I wouldn't choose too.

At a concert I only go for the vip type tickets if it's something I'm really into. Would never expect friends to either.