Another hen do one!

[Henhenhen]

What are people's thoughts on inviting people to a hen do that will cost circa £200 for 1 night before travel etc?

A bit of background. I'm one of 3 bridesmaids; the other 2 plus the bride think this is fine.

It's an event you could attend for about £50 but the additional cost is to doing it in hospitality (no free drink!)

No one is especially well off but not on the breadline either.

Is it too much to ask or will people be ok if we ask?

I'm concerned if the bridesmaids try to arrange this and it's deemed unreasonable we'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

TBH, I don't understand why we can't do the cheap and cheerful non-hospitality version.

Ludicrous. I'd be sending apologies and wishing them well.

It's not unreasonable to invite people but I guess a lot of people will just turn down the invite. Feel sure you would get more hens and therefore more of a hen night if you went for the cheaper option.

Havent a clue @LoniceraJaponica. Not been yet, not sure if I actually want to as I was TOLD to bring a present. Appears to me its just another excuse to be grabby. Its not the bride whos the zilla, its the groom

@Shadow666 I'm going to have to say no to it... the more I think about it, the more I'm stressing about it. It's so much money and I just can't justify it. I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and if she decides to quit talking to me then tough shit. xx

@LoniceraJaponica you're right. I'm going to say I can't make it.... it's too much money and I've been stressing over it since she decided that she wanted to go there for it. It's crazy money and there's so much more I could do with it.... and yes if she decides she not going to speak to me then tough shit. I can't afford it and I'm not going to stress over it anymore.
Xxx

@Motoko It's crazy isn't it that people feel that they have to have these extravagant weekends away for a hen party or stag do. The cost of this trip is ridiculous: I've decided I'm going to tell her that I can't afford it...: I will say it's one or the other, and I would prefer to stick to the wedding, as DH is looking forward to a few days away late summer. At least with that we can make a little break of it together. I honestly can justify the expense. Hopefully this bloody marriage will last!!! Xx

I'd definitely be saying no if invited to that.

I'm glad to hear you're declining Busters.

I hate that every event has to have a big, expensive pre-event. Baby showers, gender reveal parties, Hen 'weekends'. I love my friends but I wish we could go back to a Hen 'night' local to home (like I did 15 years ago) I quite like that I get time with my kids, partner and pets at the weekend when weeks are so busy with work and school and 3 million after school clubs. I know I'm boring and middle age has caught up with me 😂

Agreed. My hen party was lovely - my favourite things with my favourite people - and those that wanted to slept at my parents' house. I think we spent about £30 on dinner. My sister had a picnic in the park, a nice activity and a meal out. Maybe £60 all in.

There's no need for such extravagance when the wedding will already be expensive for bride and guests. The hen party is about time with your nearest and dearest.

I'd say a big fat no to that one.

Stick to your guns, Busters. She's a tacky, grabby bitch - who has a hen do for a fourth wedding, or a fourth wedding event. FFS.

Jayne, I hope you decline the bridal shower. And it's not just the groom who's the zilla, if she's having all this then she'd going along with it and that makes her just as much of a grabby, CF as he is.

@expatinscotland
I did i it, I grew some balls and told her that I couldn't afford to go. Thankfully she was cool about it. It's such a relief. Like a huge weight has been lifted xx

No, surely you if you want dinner you can go to a reasonable restaurant for a fraction of the price, not £150 extra, no way. I would be declining that hen do, as that is a lot of money.

Well done @BustersBloodVessel!

Yay. Well done x