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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How stepford wife are you...

127 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 22/02/2018 13:59

That's it really:)

Would you consider yourself a stepford wife and enjoy it, or modern working woman or something inbetween?

Interested in opinions here....some scorn at the submissive 'housewife' types as others relish in the role and really enjoy it. Others think homemakers do one of the most difficult jobs about with little appreciation.

Where do your opinions fall on this?

Btw I am NOT saying housewives and homemakers are stepford wives....but it's an opinion many share that the man should rule the household and he should habe a hot meal on the table when he returns from work etc.

OP posts:
JacintaJones · 22/02/2018 14:01

I’d like a Stepford husband truth be told.

RoyalBelum · 22/02/2018 14:03

Neither, just a slob trying to juggle everything.

busyknee · 22/02/2018 14:03

'... An opinion many share that the man should rule the household'

Are you posting from the 1930s OP?

FanofFung · 22/02/2018 14:03

I'm married to a Stepford husband. We both work, me from home, but I work longer hours. His job is very well paid and really low pressure. He enjoys it immensely so doesn't feel wiped when he gets home. He likes to clean the kitchen, do the laundry and cook. I'm happy to let him. I do my share - hoovering, dusting, cat related maintenance.

I'd rather be married to Stepford than be one myself!

LuxuryMilk · 22/02/2018 14:05

I look nothing like a stepford wife but I do like to have a hot meal waiting for DH during the week. He works hard and as a SAHM I can manage to do this without stressing myself out.
He does the same for me when I work on a weekend, so really we both look after each other which seems fair.

busyknee · 22/02/2018 14:06

I have bad news about geo political relations. There's a war on the way shortly.

bizmum1 · 22/02/2018 14:07

I like to play at being a Stepford wife type sometimes but the reality is I'm much more turned on by business interests and am intrinsically lazy when it comes to domestic matter. I am trying to improve my cooking skills though.

Actually, I'm always impressed by women who have gorgeous homes and cook brilliant meals - probably because it's not my natural forte.

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 22/02/2018 14:07

@Busy

"'... An opinion many share that the man should rule the household'

Are you posting from the 1930s OP?"

God no Grin just a common opinion I've heard amongst the older generation I work with unfortunately

OP posts:
FittonTower · 22/02/2018 14:08

Do many share that opinion? I realise my little bubble is pretty feminist but I'm not sure there's loads of people who think a man should rule the household are there?
I'm not at all stepford. But my husband and I both try to keep the house running while the other is at work and if one of us is at work the other gets the tea ready for the other etc

Fintress · 22/02/2018 14:09

My husband certainly does not rule the household but he has a hot meal on the table after work because I love cooking. He tidies the kitchen after dinner, every night, even when we have takeaway on a Friday. I don't consider myself a Stepford wife either. I just like a nice tidy clean house which literally takes no time to do as we are generally tidy and our house is very minimalist, no clutter like ornaments sitting about, I loathe them. However there is only the two of us, kids all have their own places.

Fintress · 22/02/2018 14:12

cook brilliant meals - probably because it's not my natural forte.

It wasn't mine either until I got hooked on cookery programmes Blush. I'm not anywhere near master chef level but I really enjoy it.

OutyMcOutface · 22/02/2018 14:13

I have no interest inwork of any sort-domestic or outside of the home. Unfortunately needs must so I'm filling stepfitd roles at the moment (very poorly, I just don't have the enthusiam for that kind of thing every day. When the children area bit older I will go focus on my career and hire someone to do the housekeeping full time. Then once the children have left school I will save up the money that would have been spent on fees into a housekeeper's fund. When I have enough I will retire properly and spend my time making pottery and going on long walks. I am very much looking forward to my old age).

Thistlebelle · 22/02/2018 14:13

but it's an opinion many share that the man should rule the household and he should habe a hot meal on the table when he returns from work

Where the hell do you work? My parents who are in their 70s would laugh at that idea.

My Grandparents who were born before the First World War would have laughed at that idea.

Certainly neither of my Grandfathers nor in fact any of the men in my family would have though that they should “rule” the house.

I have been both a SAHM and a WOHM and although I certainly take more of the share of the housework when not working I can guarantee that my DH has never considered himself “ruler”. Confused

I’m pretty sure only abusive men think that way.

OutyMcOutface · 22/02/2018 14:14

*Just to clarify my husband is beyond hopeless at domestic work so it falls on me.

busyknee · 22/02/2018 14:15

My grandmother is in her 90s and even she would scoff at this. Actually not 'even she' but 'especially she' cos she was part of the generation who fought hard against this patriarchal bullshit.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/02/2018 14:18

DH does not rule the house.
Toddler tries but I remind him he doesn't live in a democracy, he lives in a Momocracy.
Theoretically I should rule but I'm tired and need a nap

Klobuchar · 22/02/2018 14:21

I’m a SAHM right now but find that Stepford comparison ridiculous. It suggests we don’t have opinions or play any role in decision making, just smile and do everything sweetly and without opinion or complaint, which is bollocks. I shop for and cook dinner during the week on account of the other adult living in the house being at work and me not. I would expect exactly the same if my husband wasn’t working and I was.

Are you sure you actually work anywhere because I’m not sure opinions like the ones you’ve described are well sounded anywhere much these days.

crackerjacket · 22/02/2018 14:21

I wouldn't mind Don Draper waiting at home for me ... Not sure about my up-keeping of the picket pence though, I'm a bit of a slattern really.

crackerjacket · 22/02/2018 14:22

I'm on the same page as sleepingstandingup

VickieCherry · 22/02/2018 14:24

It would be rather difficult for me to have a hot meal on the table before I even get home...

ShotsFired · 22/02/2018 14:27

I guess I'm Stepford about the laundry and most weekday meals.
But given I WFH whenever I want and OH is out of the house 13+hrs a day with a shitty commute, it's no skin off my nose.

(And I do our laundry jointly too, which I know is a huge no-no for many MNers!).

Rest of it is shared or done by the cleaner.

zzzzz · 22/02/2018 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 22/02/2018 14:30

I'd absolutely hate being a housewife, it just wouldn't happen. Neither do I need to be kept by a man. It may suit some to do little and have everything paid for them but I know very few people like that, most need more of a life.

I wanted an equal in a partner, one that shared everything so we both work, both cook and clean and both parent. Neither of us rule, it's a marriage not a dictatorship.

Clandestino · 22/02/2018 14:31

but it's an opinion many share

MANY - as in some Pakistani village or some ultimate redneck paradise somewhere in Alabama?

Sprinklestar · 22/02/2018 14:33

Got an essay due in, OP?