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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How stepford wife are you...

127 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 22/02/2018 13:59

That's it really:)

Would you consider yourself a stepford wife and enjoy it, or modern working woman or something inbetween?

Interested in opinions here....some scorn at the submissive 'housewife' types as others relish in the role and really enjoy it. Others think homemakers do one of the most difficult jobs about with little appreciation.

Where do your opinions fall on this?

Btw I am NOT saying housewives and homemakers are stepford wives....but it's an opinion many share that the man should rule the household and he should habe a hot meal on the table when he returns from work etc.

OP posts:
PinkyBlunder · 22/02/2018 16:55

I’m more Deptford than Stepford....

....no offence intended to those that live in Deptford. I’m sure you’re lovely....

happytobemrsg · 22/02/2018 16:55

I'm a SAHM. That's where my similarities to a stepford wife ends Grin DH does the food shopping & more often than not he will cook me dinner rather than the other way around

BitOutOfPractice · 22/02/2018 17:02

BlueDog calling the OP a rape apologist has crossed a line for me. That's just completely unfair! you really do need to step back

NotUmbongoUnchained · 22/02/2018 17:04

little

No worries.
I’ve been in the same position as blue dog and you’d have To try really hard to be offended by your post.

HotCrossBunFight · 22/02/2018 17:04

No idea why the OP has attacked me, if anything I was defending her.

Bloody odd thread.

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 17:05

She has made a personal attack on me.

And I really really find it offensive to be told that older people share those views. They don’t. Not in my experience.

It’s a lazy stereotype that is minimising of what abuse in a relationship really is and also it is totally eradicating and ignoring single parents.

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 22/02/2018 17:08

@Hotcross
Sorry!! I meant to quote someone else there I think. I known you stuck up for me. Thank you x

@Bit out

Don't worry I've reported her for the rape apologist stuff. That's disgusting xx

OP posts:
NotUmbongoUnchained · 22/02/2018 17:08

Omg the thread is clearly aimed at couples.

If I post a thread about my cat I’m not “eradicating” non cat owners.

As bit said, making th OP out to be someone sort of rape and abuse apologist is more of a personal attack then her telling you to fuck off.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/02/2018 17:08

BlueDof she really hasn't made a personal attack on you, though you have chosen to take it as one, I'm going to step aside now

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 17:09

She told me to fuck off.

Isn’t that a personal attack?

NotUmbongoUnchained · 22/02/2018 17:10

Not really Confused

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 17:11

I thought it was. I could be wrong. I’ll report and ask hq for clarification.

Strokethefurrywall · 22/02/2018 17:12

Never have I ever seen a poster deliberately misinterpret a thread as Bluedoglead has on this one...

Sheesh.

Bramble71 · 22/02/2018 17:14

I'm a housewife, and kept woman now, I guess. I'm not a great homemaker as I'm too poorly to do much around the house. I had to give up work due to ill health, though that was no wrench as I hated working!

I would love to have been a housewife right from the start, but I didn't meet my hubby till well into my 30s. Better late than ever, eh.

nokidshere · 22/02/2018 17:15

I don't work and am home most days. My two teens are in 6th form, dh works 8-6 M-F, neither of us iron, the cleaner cleans and dh cooks.

I wipe the sides down in the kitchen and put the washing on sometimes.

Everything else is done on the computer by whichever one of us is on it at the right time.

I think this just makes me lazy Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 22/02/2018 17:15

You've accused her of some horrible stuff bluedog! Far worse, imo than telling you to fuck off!

PinkyBlunder · 22/02/2018 17:20

Sheesh Bluedog if you think being told to fuck off is a personal attack, I take it you haven’t read very many MN threads at all... I strongly suggest you don’t, you’ll only upset yourself.

HermionesRightHook · 22/02/2018 17:22

I'm about minus fifteen. My husband proudly thinks we split the housework 50-50 and is a very decent modern man. Except for his tendency to not clean windowsills.

However, 50-50 is um... not the case. I managed to bag the easier jobs at the start of the relationship and I am not exactly assiduous at them, but he doesn't really see dirt until it's really bad - he just does his cleaning on a schedule so that doesn't matter. So I'd say it's closer to 60-40 in my favour.

I used to do all the cooking but he's got super into that recently and washing up was my job but now we have a dishwasher so... oops.

That said I do a lot of emotional labour of running the house and he knows that - he would never manage to pay rent on time or insure the car left to his own devices so although it doesn't quite seem fair he's probably putting in more physical labour but I'm more than making up for that in mental, though.

RoadToRivendell · 22/02/2018 17:29

I've become a bit Stepford-ish in my middle age. I dart about from Pilates to the hair place to the manicurist a fair bit and make probably 4 elaborate dinners a week.

My husband hardly rules the roost, however. We're fiercely protective and respectful of one another.

heron98 · 22/02/2018 17:37

I genuinely don't get all the angst about housework. Maybe I am doing it wrong but it really isn't that much of a chore, surely? We've got washing machines now, vaccum cleaners, sometimes a dishwasher. It's hardly going down to the river and putting all the clothes through a mangle.

I work FT but don't find doing housework eats into much of my free time at home.

busyknee · 22/02/2018 17:52

Logicalmum, the OP is posting from the 1930s. I was giving her some useful info. Thought she'd need a heads up about future events on their way.

logicalmum · 22/02/2018 18:07

busyknee i feel foolish, i'm damn slow on the uptake today, i realised what you meant. Grin

busyknee · 22/02/2018 18:29

It was a bit of a tenuous joke!

It just amused me.

I was going to fill the thread up with advice for the people of the 1930s. But then it all got a bit weird.

logicalmum · 22/02/2018 18:52

Something like this busyknee Grin

mentalfloss.com/article/52108/7-tips-keeping-your-man-1950s

RollTopBath · 22/02/2018 19:55

I’d say running a home really isn’t that difficult. I’m neither Stepford wife nor Devil wears Pravda. I’m definitely more Rosemary Shrager. House is clean, everyone eats very well but my husband certainly does his fair share. The house is a bit old to be shiny and sleek.
I work but it’s not everything. My family are grown but still home quite often.

I certainly don’t wear pretty floral tea dresses and lipstick for my husbands arrival home. I usually meet him of the Downs or Heath wearing muck boots and a waterproof.