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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How stepford wife are you...

127 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 22/02/2018 13:59

That's it really:)

Would you consider yourself a stepford wife and enjoy it, or modern working woman or something inbetween?

Interested in opinions here....some scorn at the submissive 'housewife' types as others relish in the role and really enjoy it. Others think homemakers do one of the most difficult jobs about with little appreciation.

Where do your opinions fall on this?

Btw I am NOT saying housewives and homemakers are stepford wives....but it's an opinion many share that the man should rule the household and he should habe a hot meal on the table when he returns from work etc.

OP posts:
Cavender · 22/02/2018 14:33

I live in the southern USA Cland I don’t know any men that rule their homes.

Trendy1 · 22/02/2018 14:35

Haha, what a hoot! I let my DH think he rules the household, he does all the accounts, etc, I am really not interested in that chore. I have cooked all the meals since kids were tiny because I was a SAHM for a very short period. Habits are hard to break and meals have to be edible so I cook. I also clean, launder, paint, plumb, plaster, fix and screw, because I want the job done my way, right now. However, in view of the large financial contribution DH makes, he gets a hot meal every night. (Then clears it up! lol)

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 22/02/2018 14:37

I'm definitely a Stepford wife.

Elendon · 22/02/2018 14:38

My daughter was returning from London yesterday, got back at around 8pm. I had her hot dinner waiting for her, she was most grateful!

Mind you if I'd been on a shift, this wouldn't have happened but I would have ensured there was something she could put into the microwave.

My daughters do the same for me if I've been travelling.

Fintress · 22/02/2018 14:39

I'd absolutely hate being a housewife, it just wouldn't happen. Neither do I need to be kept by a man. It may suit some to do little and have everything paid for them but I know very few people like that, most need more of a life.

Lots of assumptions there. I'm a 'housewife' whatever that is, I'm not kept by my full time working husband, he doesn't pay for everything (I paid for our 3 week holiday in Asia in November for starters, oh and I pay the mortgage, small that it is) and I certainly have a full life. In fact I'm enjoying having a week at home with an empty diary for a change.

IHaveACuntingPlan · 22/02/2018 14:40

I'm not working that much at the moment but I'm not a housewife. I don't enjoy housework; in fact I'd go so far as to say I'd hate it! I hate cooking, washing up, laundry and I get fed up of tidying up only to come back 5 minutes later to find it a mess again. I do my share but I hate it. Dh does loads around the house but he's no clean freak andd doesn't notice mess.

lightoflaluna · 22/02/2018 14:42

I'm not stepford at all. I'm on mat leave at the moment and also low carbing so i've taken full responsibility for cooking and food planning and shopping, simply because i'm more interested in food and cooking at the moment. I also clean a bit more, but that's because the house is occupied all day at the moment and DS spends a lot of time on the floor. I do this while DH is doing bathtime so it gives him some 1:1 time with DS.

I don't iron, as i mainly wear leggings etc that don't need ironing when i'm in the house. DH also helps with a quick 'blitz' at the weekend.

When i go back to work, there'll be less cleaning to do, but i will start doing half the ironing again. Cooking will work itself out and we'll shop online.

I'd love a cleaner to do it all properly though. I'm not particularly skilled at housework. I think i will when DDog pops his blessed clogs.

HotCrossBunFight · 22/02/2018 14:42

I'd say there's a big difference between a man ruling the household and the women who is home all day / earlier than her husband getting dinner ready before he's in.

I usually have dinner ready for my husband as I'm home 2 hours before him and we wouldn't eat until 9 if he cooked during the week. He does not rule the home thats probably the 4 year old

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 22/02/2018 14:43

it's an opinion many share that the man should rule the household and he should habe a hot meal on the table when he returns from work etc

I'll see your chirpy little Smile and raise you a Hmm

pallisers · 22/02/2018 14:45

I AM the older generation (under retirement age) and I've never heard anyone- including my own parents - say the man should be head of the household. Where on earth do you live and work OP? It would have been old fashioned in the 1930s.

HolgerDanske · 22/02/2018 14:46

I’m as far away from Stepford as it’s possible to be.

I love honour and cherish the man I love but I sure as hell don’t ‘obey’ anybody.

RicottaPancakes · 22/02/2018 14:49

This is quite an interesting book: www.amazon.co.uk/Radical-Homemakers-Reclaiming-Domesticity-Consumer/dp/0979439116?tag=mumsnetforum-21 (sort of on topic!)

brizzledrizzle · 22/02/2018 14:49

About as far away as it's possible to get and I wouldn't have it any other way.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 22/02/2018 14:53

No. I was educated up to my eyeballs and work my ass off so that I can pay other people to do all the domestic stuff that I can't be bothered with.

Bluebell9 · 22/02/2018 14:56

I am the higher earner in our relationship, DP and I share the housework, cooking etc.
But I was signed off work for 2 months in the summer and I loved being at home. I happily did all the housework, had DPs tea on the table when he got home from work. I've now told DP we need to win enough money on the lottery so I can afford to give up work and become a housewife!
DP loved it too as I ran the whole house and was totally relaxed about life.

Desperatelyseekingsun · 22/02/2018 14:58

Currently a trailing spouse and thus at home full time, this means however that I run the house and have control over it. It is an odd link to make between someone being a SAHP and being submissive. Because I am at home I make all the decisions about the home and do most of the decision making about out of home activities, when I was working we shared this more as I didn't have the time to do it all.

Sarahh2014 · 22/02/2018 14:58

Not a stepford but I'm a sahm and I do all the house stuff because dh works fulltime.I wouldn't expect him to cook a meal in the week but he does a roast quite often at The weekend

Boatsnack3 · 22/02/2018 14:58

DP works Tuesday-Saturday long hours and I work Saturday and Sunday night shift so naturally most of the home stuff falls on me. I like to cook and we all have a home cooked meal every day.

I try to clean but we have different standards so enivitably he will spend some time after work cleaning his choice. The house is always much better organised on a Sunday/Monday when I'm asleep. We really should switch roles.

Trinity66 · 22/02/2018 14:59

I'm like the Anti-Stepford wife

SandyY2K · 22/02/2018 15:00

I'm nothing like a stepford wife. My DH does his own washing (and anything else in the laundry basket) and his ironing.

I don't always cook...I will if I have the time...otherwise he sorts himself out.

I'm very sure he'd love a stepford wife though.

Maybe in his next life.Grin

Orlandsundry · 22/02/2018 15:07

I'm a sh!t SAHM, never get much done, and mope without anyone to talk to. I am much better when I leave the house and go out to work.

We'd be much better off if DH was the SAHD as he loves being on his own and would get loads done.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/02/2018 15:08

I literally do not know a single person who thinks a man should rule a household and have a meal on the table for him. That ranges from my teenage DDs to my 8-yo mom who is more vehemently feminist than most people I know

I'm a single working parent trying to do my best. Sometimes I'm cooking food from scratch and cleaning the skirting boards, sometimes I'm in a business meeting discussing marekting strategy, sometimes I'm drinking cocktails with my friends, sometimes I'm watching football in the pub. I'm not really one thing or another

BitOutOfPractice · 22/02/2018 15:09

80-yo mom. She's not 8 Grin

PlanNumber · 22/02/2018 15:10

Not at all, but if I'm honest I am happier in myself when I'm doing better at taking care of everyone and the house.

merrygoround51 · 22/02/2018 15:13

Not at all thank God.