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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How stepford wife are you...

127 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 22/02/2018 13:59

That's it really:)

Would you consider yourself a stepford wife and enjoy it, or modern working woman or something inbetween?

Interested in opinions here....some scorn at the submissive 'housewife' types as others relish in the role and really enjoy it. Others think homemakers do one of the most difficult jobs about with little appreciation.

Where do your opinions fall on this?

Btw I am NOT saying housewives and homemakers are stepford wives....but it's an opinion many share that the man should rule the household and he should habe a hot meal on the table when he returns from work etc.

OP posts:
Lunalovepud · 22/02/2018 15:13

I'd absolutely hate being a housewife, it just wouldn't happen. Neither do I need to be kept by a man. It may suit some to do little and have everything paid for them but I know very few people like that, most need more of a life.

Fair enough if you would hate being a housewife, it isn't for everyone in the same way that being a working mother isn't for everyone and there are pros and cons to both.

I suppose you would consider me 'kept', although I don't and my husband certainly doesn't either... My husband is earning our money at the moment but with two kids under two and a half, I am certainly not 'doing little'... DH and I are also absolute equals in our relationship. All money goes into a joint bank account and I take what I want, when I want - he would never question it. I have never asked him for money, or had an allowance to spend or anything like that at all.

I will never understand why some women look down their noses at women who have made the choice to step away from their careers to look after their kids for a few years. We're still the same people as we were when we were working! I would never judge a working mother - I just don't see the point. Everyone does the best they can for their family, surely? Whether that is working or staying at home?

Schlimbesserung · 22/02/2018 15:16

My husband definitely has a hot meal on the table in the evening. He makes it though.
So no, not Stepford here. We work together to get through the day.

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 15:16

I’m divorced and l done love with my oh. I’m not ecen worthy of consideration. Nice op. Real nice.

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 15:17

*dont live

I’m really upset by my life being reduced to a nothing.

What paper is this for?

logicalmum · 22/02/2018 15:18

I have bad news about geo political relations. There's a war on the way shortly.
@busyknee what do you mean a war, with who?

mamaryllis · 22/02/2018 15:24

Blue, do you post on cat threads objecting about the exclusion ian of not having a cat too?

Anyhoo. Ds once said to me at about 4 ‘I’m not going to get married mummy. It’s just such hard work!’ He was in the bath with dd1 at the time and started listing jobs. Cooking dinner. Blah blah blah. Soooo much work. And dd1 (whose bags I packed forthwith) said ‘don’t be silly x. Your wife will do those!’
No idea where she had been living for her 6 years - it can’t have been with me.

logicalmum · 22/02/2018 15:27

Does anyone know what busyknee meant about a war, i have anxiety about such things and i'm worried now.

HotCrossBunFight · 22/02/2018 15:30

She probably meant between SAHM and WOHM
I'm sure she doesn't have any top secret knowledge x

SandyY2K · 22/02/2018 15:31

I literally do not know a single person who thinks a man should rule a household and have a meal on the table for him

These people do exist believe me.

logicalmum · 22/02/2018 15:32

Well i hope so hotcross, she got me worried sick.

Chanelprincess · 22/02/2018 15:37

Modern working woman, no interest in anything domestic - happy to pay other people to do all that.

JaneEyre70 · 22/02/2018 15:40

I'm still in training - 25 years to date. I'm sure I will get there one day. I say this from my position on the sofa watching Fawlty Towers and cuddling the dog Grin.

GrumpyOldBlonde · 22/02/2018 15:41

What's your opinion OP? You asked us a question for your essay and gave no opinion of your own.

I have never met a single person who feel man is the head of the household.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/02/2018 15:41

@bluegoflead

I don't live with my OH either. I think she just used "stepford Wife" as a shorthand clumsy way of referring to women who stay at home and like to take a submissive role. I agree it's very annoying.

Don't take it personally!

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 15:42

I’m really upset.

As far as the op is concerned I’ve been erased. I’m not contributing.

HotCrossBunFight · 22/02/2018 15:44

I. Don't think you've Been erased, you just dont fit the 3 incredibly narrow sets the OP has come up with.

FranticallyPeaceful · 22/02/2018 15:45

“. An opinion many share that the man should rule the household“

Haha GrinGrinGrin
what does ‘running the household’ even mean?

HolgerDanske · 22/02/2018 15:45

I don’t believe the juxtaposition in the OP is correct. Stepford is about attitude, about ‘surrendered wives’, about the concept of obedience to one’s husband, about subjugation of the female, not about the particulars of one’s situation as far as housewife/working woman/SAHM/WOHM/children/no children/etc.

HolgerDanske · 22/02/2018 15:47

And really, don’t give a single fuck about what one random person on the internet thinks of you.

SleepingBooty · 22/02/2018 15:51

No Stepford-ness here. We have a partnership with shared roles around the house, my parents had a more traditional marriage where my Dad did FA at home bar some DIY, my Mum did everything else (they are now divorced).

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 15:53

When I was with a man who wanted to make all the decisions and have me as a surrendered wife who cooked and cleaned and didnot work or have opinions We weren’t married but

He was abusive

And

He raped me and beat seven bells out of me.

Really op I’m glad you’re able to find this so funny. The stepford husband you describe is abusive.

Orlandsundry · 22/02/2018 15:54

DH and I have a really equal, fun, bantery relationship. If I were a submissive surrendered wife type we would never have got together!

Bluedoglead · 22/02/2018 15:54

I was 15 when I got with him and 16 when I had his baby. By the time I was 18 I was Abused and Beaten stereotype not funny stepford wives.

Awful thread to do for the lols

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 22/02/2018 15:55

This reads like a journalist trawling in the hope of starting a bunfight.

I do not believe their is any workplace in this country where it is a common view that man = head of household or that sahm = submissive.

winglesspegasus · 22/02/2018 15:56

no,after 10 yrs in military service he said
"i am sorry if i ever was a slob.housekeeping is hard work,spent ten years having to do my own."
he cooked ,cleaned,laundry,even put his dirtys in the hamper.....