To think I live in a fucking parallel universe?

[hungryhippo90]

I moved to a new build estate. I’ve never seen ANYTHING like it.

There’s a neighbourhood watch who put letters out on people’s cars if they’re parked in the estate. In fact a few cars got covered in tomato ketchup for being left here... not even specifically outside peoples houses. Some of the neighbours go out and moan at people parked anywhere near their house.

You get letters through the door if your bins aren’t in the back garden by 3pm the day they’re emptied (I don’t know what happens when you both work till 5pm!) there are a lot of moaning posts if it’s windy and bin day. One of the residents goes out and picks up litter, which is normal I guess but I’ve never seen it before.

There’s lots of moaning that there will be council accommodation on the estate and shock horror, the house prices!!

They currently have 3 different lawsuits ongoing with the housebuilder, the maintenance company who deals with the estates grass etc and I don’t even know who else.

One of the home owners asked the other day if the estate had security because they saw someone in a security outfit (there’s still buildingwork ongoing- there is security on that site nothing to do with the residents and FWIW it’s clear. This is answered by loads of ....maybe answers, and I start to think I don’t even live in this world. It’s clear we don’t have security! Who on earth would be paying for it? .....and one person pipes up with, ask to see their ID and their credentials (he wasn’t joking!)

Oh and there are pictures on the Facebook group - which you have to send your address to join by the way!) of every person they’ve ever seen walking through the estate.

Today someone posts a picture, someone posts a picture of two people, and one of them is out patrolling the estate for those not belonging here.

Please, please tell me I just live in a weird place and everywhere is not like this.

I find it beyond odc, a few of the other residents think it is beyond hilarious, and I used to laugh but it’s starting to bewilder me how grown ups who own houses, honestly believe our bog standard estate have security provided in the evenings.

Get out! Seriously. They sound mental.

Got no time at all for the twats who mistakenly think that the space near their house on a public road belongs to them. You pay road tax therefore you're entitled to park anywhere there are no restrictions!

But difficult to do anything about if you have no proof who's doing the childish ketchup shit. I couldn't live near cunts like that.

Ps if you're on the Facebook group leave asap. You don't need that drama. Keep away from the neighbours. Be politely chilly. Don't get involved. And maybe you'll be able to just live your own life.

That’s fucking batshit. Glad nobody round here carries on like that!

Ha it’s not near Ashford is it? My sister lives on an estate just like this it’s mental. The FB group is out of control (she invited me to join just coz I didn’t believe the crazy!)

If it wasn't for the Facebook group I would think you lived on my estate OP. There's a WhatsApp group I'm in for it and I can't leave because of the entertainment. There's one guy who models himself on Jimmy Stewart in rear window, sending photos of 'unknowns' seen in the estate, reg numbers of vans he sees and nearly everyone has their own parking cones outside. Then there was the theft of some of the cones so each person marks theirs with a code now. You have my sympathy!

I live in a terribly naice estate and we have none of that!

I’d deeply entertained by bin letters.

Perhaps time to leave the FB group...

I hope it's near me, I really want to go and wander about aimlessly looking shifty.

People can be very strange. I'd probably be really bad at encouraging them in their madness and deliberately leave my bins out all night, move my car to various spots and go out at night in a balaclava. I'm not very good at being a serious adult!

Last new build estate I lived on there was a swingers club. 2 couples split when a dw ran off with another dh!!

Oh god.... it sounds like there’s more places like this than just here!

I’ve been telling DH it’s not normal!!

This would suffocate me and I’d have to run away screaming.

Is there a WhatsApp group as well?
Apparently the new estate next to me has something similar. Named after the patron saint of Scotland? Crazy!!

Norbert- me either. I opposed them bringing in parking permits. I refused to use it- guess who got a parking ticket in their own bay? Yes!! That’s me!!

No whatsapp group or swingers club that I’m aware of!

Sounds a bit like an estate near us. No parking in the road, no bins left out unless the bin lorry is in the vicinity, no For Sale signs displayed, porch lights must not be switched on before dark and MUST be turned off before 11pm... I'd be no good - I'd never remember it all

Do you have someone measuring each blade of grass? Sorry you have moved to the crazy estate

Our area is halfway to this. We've had a fair bit of crime, so a group have taken to walking around in the evenings and posting pics of people they don't recognise. Parking is a real problem, too. It's actually quite old fashioned.

We live on a new build estate, have never come across anything like you describe op! Most, if not all of our neighbours seem really nice. Christmas cards/bottles of wine exchanged nice. Get out whilst you still can 😀

That is bonkers, how on earth have they the time, apart from anything?!

My road is a bit like this. It's hilariously batshit. They were talking about gating the whole road at the last residents meeting.

P.s. I'd be extremely unhappy and intimidated by randoms taking pictures of me (saying this as someone who walks around new residential areas as part of my job, often looking a bit lost and Dodgy)

I wouldn't want to live anywhere that had visible bins for more than a very few hours on bin collection day.

The litter-picker-uppers are heroes, I'd see them as making the neighbourhood better at no cost to me. I'd ask them if they'd take on putting everyone's bins away as soon as possible after they've been emptied.

We live on a new build estate and have the same thing!! It’s laughable, if anyone remotely shifty looking is walking round once it’s dark the local self appointed vigilante style policeman will “patrol” the area. The main issue we have is dog poo - some homes have actually put up cctv facing the gardens to catch any culprits in the act and will post the video evidence to name and shame (kind of don’t blame them for that though 😬)

Sorry but you’ve accidentally moved to the set of Ever Decreasing Circles.

Uterus- I’m being serious, we live in the same estate! Not that I went to the meeting!!! We must live in the same estate.... B G mean anything to you?

That sounds crazy. I would spend an unhealthy amount of time coming up with things to drive them mad. Then not actually do any of it. Cos I am a bit wet.