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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I live in a fucking parallel universe?

355 replies

hungryhippo90 · 21/02/2018 14:40

I moved to a new build estate. I’ve never seen ANYTHING like it.

There’s a neighbourhood watch who put letters out on people’s cars if they’re parked in the estate. In fact a few cars got covered in tomato ketchup for being left here... not even specifically outside peoples houses. Some of the neighbours go out and moan at people parked anywhere near their house.

You get letters through the door if your bins aren’t in the back garden by 3pm the day they’re emptied (I don’t know what happens when you both work till 5pm!) there are a lot of moaning posts if it’s windy and bin day. One of the residents goes out and picks up litter, which is normal I guess but I’ve never seen it before.

There’s lots of moaning that there will be council accommodation on the estate and shock horror, the house prices!!

They currently have 3 different lawsuits ongoing with the housebuilder, the maintenance company who deals with the estates grass etc and I don’t even know who else.

One of the home owners asked the other day if the estate had security because they saw someone in a security outfit (there’s still buildingwork ongoing- there is security on that site nothing to do with the residents and FWIW it’s clear. This is answered by loads of ....maybe answers, and I start to think I don’t even live in this world. It’s clear we don’t have security! Who on earth would be paying for it? .....and one person pipes up with, ask to see their ID and their credentials (he wasn’t joking!)

Oh and there are pictures on the Facebook group - which you have to send your address to join by the way!) of every person they’ve ever seen walking through the estate.

Today someone posts a picture, someone posts a picture of two people, and one of them is out patrolling the estate for those not belonging here.

Please, please tell me I just live in a weird place and everywhere is not like this.

I find it beyond odc, a few of the other residents think it is beyond hilarious, and I used to laugh but it’s starting to bewilder me how grown ups who own houses, honestly believe our bog standard estate have security provided in the evenings.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
00100001 · 21/02/2018 15:08

Start putting out your own leaflets!

Like "Today, I noticed you were being a bit of knob. Stop it now."

or

"A bird landed on your roof yesterday. Please install an anti bird system."

or

"A gust of wind slightly rattle my front window. It appeared to originate in your front garden. Please stop the gusts immediately"

farangatang · 21/02/2018 15:09

Is there a 'get out' clause?

Sounds oppressive!

and definitely not 'normal'

MargaretCavendish · 21/02/2018 15:09

I wouldn't want to live anywhere that had visible bins for more than a very few hours on bin collection day.

How can anywhere, apart from maybe a retirement village, not have this? Our bins are out right now and given that I won't get home until 7 and DH not until 8.30, our neighbours are just going to have to live with the bins being out for nearly 24 hours since we put them out last night - not that I've ever considered this a hardship for them! Surely everywhere has working people who therefore have to live with the bins being out all day?

HollyBayTree · 21/02/2018 15:09

Is it a Bovis estate - Jesus I did some temping for them and their occupants are seriously unhinged. I would never buy a new house on the grounds they are slung together and the owners are barking

00100001 · 21/02/2018 15:09

What you have to do is weed out the ringleader. Target them, they'll stop and then the others will follow suit.

farangatang · 21/02/2018 15:10

or do what 00100001 says.

Much more fun!

HuskyMcClusky · 21/02/2018 15:10

001 🤣

MichaelBendfaster · 21/02/2018 15:11

Either leave the FB group and ignore it all, or wind them all up like mad – bring everyone you've ever met home and knock on people's doors to offer to pose for your photos, run out sweating with your bin at five past three (or don't put the bins out at all) and deliberately park near people's houses.

Knittedfairies · 21/02/2018 15:11

Good Lord....

MichaelBendfaster · 21/02/2018 15:12

I wouldn't want to live anywhere that had visible bins for more than a very few hours on bin collection day.

Confused

My street is lined with everyone's bins, mostly in the little front yards but the occasional one on the pavement.

The local children don't run off crying at the sight of them, and I've never seen the Neighbourhood Aesthetics police here in 15 years of residence.

00100001 · 21/02/2018 15:13

Firesuit "I wouldn't want to live anywhere that had visible bins for more than a very few hours on bin collection day."

How would you prose reviling the situation in our road?

Most residents out of house 7-8am
Bins collected at some point in morning
Most residents return at 6pm

So, bins are out for approximately 11hrs on collection day...

MargaretCavendish · 21/02/2018 15:14

In response to the OP rather than my amazement that anyone cares where their neighbours bins are...

My brother recently had to move in with my parents for a few months due to a house purchase falling through. He reports that the village where they live, and we grew up, has gone mad in a way that's a bit like you describe - there's a secret Facebook group where people post pictures of people they don't recognise if they see them in the street (!). They are also all absolutely obsessed with the (actually pretty unlikely) possibility of new houses getting built in the village, which would be the End Of Times. It's always been a bit weird/insular - my parents still sometimes get referred to as new and they've lived there 25+ years - but I think the Facebook group has allowed the madness to flourish and grow...

JamPasty · 21/02/2018 15:15

My bins live on my drive - your neighbours would hate me :)

ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo · 21/02/2018 15:16

Sounds utter madness. Picking up litter is good but ketchuping cars is outrageous. What if you are visiting someone?

ForgivenessIsDivine · 21/02/2018 15:17

Would you mind keeping this thread open and summarising daily daftness.. it would keep me amused..

SweetMoon · 21/02/2018 15:17

This is hilarious, sorry OP! I've never heard of things like this, but seems from other pps that its not hat uncommon!!

It does puzzle me though how you are supposed to bring your bin in immediately after emptying if you're at work all day! Perhaps there is a support group you can join where they bring it in for you for a small fee!!

ohbitchplease · 21/02/2018 15:18

This is amazing. How do people even have the time for this shit?

PippaRo · 21/02/2018 15:18

This sounds nuts but also hilarious.

Yes to PP who suggest you update this thread with their antics 😂

pippistrelle · 21/02/2018 15:18

I want to know where these places are so that I can walk around looking suspicious.

Flashmob, anyone?

Marmaladeorange · 21/02/2018 15:18

Sounds a bit like Hot Fuzz. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a stash of bodies somewhere or mysterious disappearances of residents who play music too loudly or forget which week to put the recycling bins out.

PippaRo · 21/02/2018 15:18

Sweet a support group 😂😂😂

QuestionableMouse · 21/02/2018 15:19

I was brought up in a terribly naice village and even they didn't go on like this.

steff13 · 21/02/2018 15:20

There was an episode of X Files like that.

MargaretCavendish · 21/02/2018 15:21

I was brought up in a terribly naice village and even they didn't go on like this.

Ah, but what's it like now? See my post above on how my own childhood naice village has apparently gone bonkers - social media has made their lunacy both easier and more evident!

RB68 · 21/02/2018 15:21

OMG what if its an ambulance parked!!! There is one like this near us too - near enough I am "allowed" on their FB group - I just sell them stuff and laugh at the rest of it and thank the Lord I don't live there