To think I live in a fucking parallel universe?

[hungryhippo90]

I moved to a new build estate. I’ve never seen ANYTHING like it.

There’s a neighbourhood watch who put letters out on people’s cars if they’re parked in the estate. In fact a few cars got covered in tomato ketchup for being left here... not even specifically outside peoples houses. Some of the neighbours go out and moan at people parked anywhere near their house.

You get letters through the door if your bins aren’t in the back garden by 3pm the day they’re emptied (I don’t know what happens when you both work till 5pm!) there are a lot of moaning posts if it’s windy and bin day. One of the residents goes out and picks up litter, which is normal I guess but I’ve never seen it before.

There’s lots of moaning that there will be council accommodation on the estate and shock horror, the house prices!!

They currently have 3 different lawsuits ongoing with the housebuilder, the maintenance company who deals with the estates grass etc and I don’t even know who else.

One of the home owners asked the other day if the estate had security because they saw someone in a security outfit (there’s still buildingwork ongoing- there is security on that site nothing to do with the residents and FWIW it’s clear. This is answered by loads of ....maybe answers, and I start to think I don’t even live in this world. It’s clear we don’t have security! Who on earth would be paying for it? .....and one person pipes up with, ask to see their ID and their credentials (he wasn’t joking!)

Oh and there are pictures on the Facebook group - which you have to send your address to join by the way!) of every person they’ve ever seen walking through the estate.

Today someone posts a picture, someone posts a picture of two people, and one of them is out patrolling the estate for those not belonging here.

Please, please tell me I just live in a weird place and everywhere is not like this.

I find it beyond odc, a few of the other residents think it is beyond hilarious, and I used to laugh but it’s starting to bewilder me how grown ups who own houses, honestly believe our bog standard estate have security provided in the evenings.

Someone is moaning on my local FB page about new cycles lanes on the high street. They feel they look ugly and are pointless as the suburb is rich and rich people don’t cycle.

ricotta

Pedant ;) it’s Elg in Swedish but when people here speak English they call them moose. I’ve never heard a Swede call them elk, which is odd when you think about it. Too much American telly.

Viceadmiralamilynhobdo
OK
But I moved from an avenue with 14 houses on it, all individually architecturally designed 1930’s properties ~ built within 1-2 years of each other.
I moved to a new build with the same number of houses.
My point being ~ people refer to my current address as an estate, but never referred to my last address as one.
I grew up thinking someone who lived on an estate lived at Chatsworth, Blenheim or similar .......and consequently thought calling your bog standard housing development ‘an estate’ was the ultimate in snobbery.

Haha, tapandgo- funny isn’t it. I thought estate made places sound more common.

I can see your POV but I grew up on a council estate which has kind of carried through to mean any kind of mixture of houses to me. I find it funny that thinking about it yeah fair posh people would term their estate as their home and surrounding land!

Likewise OP - but I’m from Scotland where a council housing estate is a called a ‘scheme’.

Another time he complained that on hot summer’s days her bin smelt. Well yeah, they can do that, but he then went on to tell her how his wife freezes things like chicken carcasses until the morning of bin day to keep their bin smelling fresh. Who has time for that shit?!

I live in Australia, and this is considered a perfectly normal thing to do. You really don't want to smell a chicken carcass that's been sitting in a bin for 6 days of 38 degree heat. Ditto for prawn shells.

Really? In Perth and never heard of this.

Fun fact... Royston Vasey in League of Gentlemen, is named after the "comedian" Roy Chubby Brown. It's his real name.

As you were...

I live on the edge of a 1970s estate. When we moved in our neighbours directly opposite invited us round for a coffee and in the course of a conversation informed us that "you go to bed late don't you?"! Wtf??

Obviously, further weirdness ensued. My favourites were her weeding my "messy" front garden without asking and pulling up all the wild flowers I'd planted. Twice. And my NDN telling me that she (the neighbour opposite) was "fed up of looking at your messy front wall". I told DH and he solved the problem by taking a sledge hammer to it. We then took a few months to clear the rubble .

I should add that our wall looked a mess because the NDN on the other side had knocked part of it down whilst trying to reverse into his drove and had, kind of, put it back together himself.

Someone round the corner from us actually had holes put in the corners of their drive to put their bins in . Each surrounded by a little gates fence. It must take a massive effort to lift a full bin in and out! Most bizarre thing I’ve seen

i once lived in a house share and the NDNs came round to ask my housemate to move his car from its parking place in front of their house because its windscreen was creating an unsightly reflection in their TV screen...

Well yeah, they can do that, but he then went on to tell her how his wife freezes things like chicken carcasses until the morning of bin day to keep their bin smelling fresh. Who has time for that shit?!

Derby Council advised people to do this last year iirc. I have a vague memory of it being suggested by Manchester City Council also but I may be making that up as I am just so fed up of MCC in general!

Another time he complained that on hot summer’s days her bin smelt

Well he can't be that posh if his driveway is so short he can smell the bins.

Also think it's odd that a poster said all houses started off as an estate, most odd. I live in a lane with about 100 houses on and all sorts of sizes, shapes, ages - certainly never an estate. I don't mean that in a snobby way just factual.

Another time he complained that on hot summer’s days her bin smelt

Well he can't be that posh if his driveway is so short he can smell the bins.

Brilliant!

Fun fact... Royston Vasey in League of Gentlemen, is named after the "comedian" Roy Chubby Brown. It's his real name.

I imagine it’s because the place is as unbelieveably awful as he is.

@dejectedharry is Susan NDN to a 'Janet'? She's got to be. Janet's got a lot of time on her hands as well.

@OVienna don't get me started on bloody Janet!

Our resident 'Janet' complained our hedge didn't have enough leaves we'd just cut it right back because the path was being resurfaced, can't win!

Complaining about bins being unsightly is so Noveau riche , actual posh people couldn’t give a toss about their neighbours houses or bins .

I have an apt advert on my page

Complaining about bins being unsightly is so Noveau riche , actual posh people couldn’t give a toss about their neighbours houses or bins.

At the risk of stating the obvious posh people or even the nouveau riche don't live on housing estates.....

Exactly shimmershimmer

My ex lives somewhere like this with his parents. Absolutely nuts.

He told me any time they saw someone they didn’t recognise, they all gave them shifty eyes to put them off burglaring them...

As if a criminal is going to think “damn I wanted to rob these guys, but Tarquin and Jonty gave us a dirty look so better not”

I'm fascinated by this thread.
Can I come and visit you op in a dirty, knackered old banger?

Eliza9917

I don't think when you are paying £3million for a house you act like a wannabee.