Just seen engagement ring in joint amazon account..... AIBU?????

[WhoAteMyCandy]

As the title says the bf has ordered a engagement ring off of amazon. AIBU to think hes put no thought into it?? I think he has forgotten its valentines day soon and buying a ring is the first idea that popped into his head. Its a very over priced cheap looking ring , that that I would expect or even want a expensive one. I know that he want to get married at some point but ive never personally wanted to get married. We have been together nearly five years and have a son who is close to turning four.

Tbf I would rather have a baby than a wedding

Just delete it

Sorry, I thought he had it in a wish list or something. Is it too late to cancel the order?

Could just be a dress ring as a Valentine's present?

Maybe it's just a cheap 'token' for a element of surprise ? Then a proper one chooses by you?

might be his way of proposing, putting it in there?

If you really don't want to get married you need to quickly drop in to convo how you don't want that. Say something jovial like 'please don't even think about proposing on vals day, I'd kill you' etc etc.

don't have a baby without getting married.

um, link to the ring??????

I sent him a message and he has cancelled it. He said he thought I might of liked it... . Thanks for all of your replies.

don't have a baby without getting married

Not a very helpful comment when the OP already has a (nearly) 4 year old son.

Don't have a baby before getting married?? Opps too late!!!!!

Loads of people get
a dress ring until they pick one

What an arsehole, buying you an expensive ring and wanting to marry and spend the rest of his life with you.

My husband could of proposed with a cock ring and I’d have been over the moon.

But then, I wanted a marriage and commitment not a ring from a bespoke jewellers...

I never understand anyone who won't commit to marriage but will commit to a child.

"don't have a baby without getting married."

You don't know her circumstances.

Not everyone wants to get married though, it's not something you HAVE to do. Having a child is a much bigger commitment than marriage IMO anyway (and I'm married).

Did you not like the ring, not want to be proposed to or both?

It was not a expensive ring, it was expensive for what it was... I didn't want him to be wasting money that we don't have.

I personally don't need to be married to have commitment.

"I never understand anyone who won't commit to marriage but will commit to a child"

You don't know their circumstances, or how far 'marriage' equals 'commitment' to them.

If a mother has her own income and her own property, she is not vulnerable financially. If he is on the birth certificate, marriage doesn't really offer a Father any more access to his child in the event of a split.

A shared child and a jointly owned house are both , arguably, harder to dissolve than a marriage.

My husband could of proposed with a cock ring and I’d have been over the moon.

My favourite quote of all time

Are you sure it's for you?

"don't have a baby without getting married."

Yeah OP, return your son and do it properly!!!!!11

But then, I wanted a marriage and commitment not a ring from a bespoke jewellers...

Op has a commitment. She hasn't said she wants a fancy ring from a bespoke jeweller

@LizardMonitor Well said!!!

My aunt is loaded as fuck - never married a man; she didn't need the security. In fact I used to baby sit for her for a 'day wage' .
Some women need and require that security. It is absolutely circumstantial.

I personally don't need to be married to have commitment.

So long as you have your wills sorted and made arrangements to be each other's next of kin etc. There are plenty of benefits to marriage beyond an individual's personal definition of commitment, but as long as they are all sorted, and you don't mind the inheritance tax implications, then job's a goodun!