Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What lies does your ex tell people about you?

124 replies

Doctordid · 02/02/2018 07:53

I'm evil apparently.
I left him in thousands of pounds worth of debt and about to be evicted.
He tells this to his mates, anyone we jointly know, his family, strangers and the doctor (apparently)

In reality the reason we were in debt is that he kept walking out of jobs lying they had laid him off or leaving because they made him do something he felt beneath him because he wanted to game all day and my wage alone wasn't enough to manage on.

He has been paying £5 a month off in debt.
I have paid thousands off because he's never worked since I left and I have.
I've finished paying off a £££s loan for stuff that is still in his house and he definitely wasn't about to be evicted as housing benefit accidently made a payment of nearly 2k to his landlord after I left and his landlord doesn't have to pay it back but I do.

Funnily his fiance prior to me also left him in debt and 'emptied him out'

Hmm

His new girlfriend has recently told me she's been told all about me.

Knob

OP posts:
stickytoffeevodka · 02/02/2018 08:03

I have no idea as we no longer speak (thank god).

But he told me plenty of lies when we were together - including this whopper - when we were planning our wedding - that his ex was actually his (current) wife and her children were his! I'd never met her in person or seen her photo so had absolutely no idea until we were looking at registry office dates! He'd never divorced her and was hoping he could do it behind my back and I'd never know Hmm

Fucker. Needless to say we split up as soon as that gem came out!

Giggorata · 02/02/2018 08:08

No contact for years, so god knows.. but he used to control all the finances and then go whingeing to MIL that I had mismanaged the money and we were broke..

Natsku · 02/02/2018 08:09

That I stole his money before I left him. In actuality I paid the rent and bills before I left because I knew he wouldn't do it (I handled all that kind of thing from whichever account had money in it at the time) and then he'd get into shit with the landlord and the electric company etc. and I had to pay them from his account because I had nothing in my account, but as soon as I got some money I transferred some into his account to help him out. He then (as I predicted) stopped paying his rent and bills and got into shit so I ended up paying for (and physically doing) his food shop for 8 weeks (which he never paid me back for, hundreds of euros I spent on him) but he conveniently forgets that and just tells everyone that I stole his money.

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/02/2018 08:13

Mine told anyone who’d listen I’d had a nervous breakdown. Because otherwise why on earth would I have seen the light and left our abusive marriage... Hmm

It was classic old fashioned “steer clear of the mental bitch she crazy” stuff.

Interesting, a lot of people noticed how quickly I actually started to seem myself again once I moved out and he’s now lost most of his friends.

Plus the usual stole all his money. But then they all say that. He still owns the house we bought together and lives in it with his new wife.

LittleCandle · 02/02/2018 08:14

I have no idea now, but at the time, he told his family I had kicked him out for no reason. I know this, because his cousin's wife told me, so I told her the real reason - he was playing away. She then told the rest of the cousins. Only his brother and sister believed him.

YouCantBeSirius · 02/02/2018 08:15

That I have poisoned our daughter against him. I haven't, he is an abusive arsehole and our daughter can see it. When I finally left him it was apparently because I was cheating on him and had found another man to leech off of. That I was controlling him and wouldn't let him leave the house. No he rarely left the house because he is a lazy alcoholic.

Bluedoglead · 02/02/2018 08:17

Another one who took all his money cheated on him and was a psycho.

Str4ngedaysindeed · 02/02/2018 08:18

Oh I was completely mad. As a box of frogs. So mad that he regularly had to slap me to shut me up. He was a distraught single parent to his dear child ( on the odd weekend when he wasn't out...) and I was a wicked bonkers harridon. Obviously when he went to prison it was somehow my fault, despite having had nothing to do with him for 4 years and he tried to get a shorter sentence by claiming he was worried about his child's safety with this terrifyingly wild eyed mad woman. Didn't work

Oldbutstillgotit · 02/02/2018 08:18

That I had affairs - I didn’t, he did.
I refused to let him see our children - he chose not to see them for years.
I cleaned him out financially- he left me with less than £5 .
I hated his family - true !

OrangeMan · 02/02/2018 08:19

None! I don't hear from mine nor do I have any form on contact

DollyLlama · 02/02/2018 08:19

That I pressured him into moving in together and saddled with with loads of debt.

Reality was his friends were about to be homeless so we all decided to house share. 2 weeks in he broke up with me, I moved out. Turns out they took letters I had lying around and put my name on everything, i was liable for every bill while they were living there, and still the rent too.

I ended up owing thousands and then they trashed the house and moved out. My friend and I spent days cleaning it and it still cost hundreds with a professional cleaner.

Jokes on them. I was lead tenant so I paid the landlord back for damages out of all their deposits and took mine and my ex’s as I’d paid his.

Of course I lost a lot of ‘friends’ because of the lies they told. Lesson learnt, I’m certainly not that naive anymore!

Mooey89 · 02/02/2018 08:19

That I was abusive.
That I used to go off for entire weekends leaving him to care for the baby.
That I was having an affair with my boss
That I emptied the joint account when I left
That I stopped him from seeing his son
That I cheated on my partner with him

The reality is he emotional and physically abused me for years, locked me in the house to stop me leaving, strangled me, threatened to kill me

I stopped overnight contact when he started doing the same to the new gf (of 2 weeks!) whose children were in care, but still allowed daytime contact with his mum there

I left over Christmas when my baby was 6 months old, only had mat pay, I took MY wages from the account so I could find somewhere to live.

He’s a proper cunt.

Mooey89 · 02/02/2018 08:20

Oh, and this goes without saying, but I never cheated.
He did however used to inspect my knickers if I was even 5 minutes late for work for ‘evidence’.

Later, I found out that he had been the one to cheat.

MagicFajita · 02/02/2018 08:25

I'm crazy , I left him while he was at work for no reason , I'm jealous of his siblings. Oh and I once spent £50 on a pot of moisturiser when we were having trouble paying our rent.

If anyone believes him then more fool them.

Herewegoagainagain · 02/02/2018 08:30

That I cheated on him - once it took me over a minute to answer a text and apparently that was 'proof' Hmm

That I got pregnant on purpose. Seemingly the latest in a long line of women 'to do this' to him Shock

Lonecatwithkitten · 02/02/2018 08:32

That I choose to end the marriage, yes, because he refused to stop seeing OW.
That I fleeced him, no the assets were split 50:50, as I have continued to work as I had prior to our split yes my asset base has grown. Where as he has lost his well paid job due to losing his driving licence as has drifted and us currently unemployed.
That I poisoned our DD against him, no introducing and having a sleepover with OW three days after leaving the house, getting arrested and convicted for drink driving with DD in the car and finally him and OW emotionally and verbally abusing DD achieved that.
That I prevent contact, no DD offered to meet him in a coffee should in town to start to rebuild their relationship, but he was not going to be dictated to as to how he saw his daughter.
I am sure there is a whole lot more frankly water off a ducks back DD is much happier and more settled now she only has indirect contact with him as she can put the phone down if he starts to get abusive.

MrsMaxwell · 02/02/2018 08:34

I am a psycho and have mental health issues.

Not bad enough to get custody of or even see his kids though Hmm

Onlymeeeeee · 02/02/2018 08:37

I was having 2 affairs, that I am a compulsive spender (oh the money I have wasted on, er, school shoes and uniform for the children, who, ya know, grow?)

oh and the best one, I am blocking his divorce by refusing to sell the house.
When in fact, I am divorcing him and it's well underway!

Onlymeeeeee · 02/02/2018 08:41

Oh yes, the mental health issues, he was horrified when his dad pulled that out on his mum to cover up his dad's affair, but it didn't stop him telling everyone that i was "off my meds" and he was worried about the children with me.
Not worried enough to plan time with them, and conveniently forgetting i was medicated for anxiety not anything life threatening.
Funny how I'm feeling so much better now i don't have to tiptoe on the eggshells!

Finderscrispy · 02/02/2018 08:50

Probably (don’t know for sure) that he left me so that he could be with girl half his age, not that I dumped him when I found out about the lying cheating scum bag. He has also spent x years trying to get back with me, whilst maintaining sham relationship with said female. I would tell her, but they kind of deserve each other and I don’t want to mess up their fabulous relationship. I.e. I don’t want her to dump him and for him to start bothering me again.

His ex prior to me was also an abusive bully and psycho. Strange how these men have such bad luck with women isn’t it.

kaytee87 · 02/02/2018 08:52

None i don't think, would have no idea if he did.
Why is his gf even in touch with you?? Very weird .

Laiste · 02/02/2018 08:53

  • That i hadn't given him a chance to mend the relationship.
  • That he'd caught me cheating on him.

Bollocks.

  • We lived under the same roof for TWO YEARS after i told him the marriage was over and would not be sleeping with him anymore. At no point during those 2 years did he ''try to mend'' anything. Par for the course for the previous 15 years ... Hmm
  • When i finally left i told him it was because i'd met someone else and i told him that straight. He didn't ''catch'' me doing anything. Bloody prat.
PoorYorick · 02/02/2018 08:54

And this is why my eyes roll right back into my head when I read threads on here about women in new relationships with wonderful men whose exes are TOTALLY PSYCHO AND EVIL.

Goingalonenow · 02/02/2018 08:55

I'm a "psycho" who won't let him see his child.

I left after a lot of emotional abuse and he's failed to turn up the last two times I've arranged for him to see her.

Laiste · 02/02/2018 08:57

onlymee - oh and the best one, I am blocking his divorce by refusing to sell the house. When in fact, I am divorcing him and it's well underway!

Same here! Amazing! He made me divorce him - fair enough, but was obstructive all along (not signing papers ect) nadtried to block the house sale twice, but told everyone it was me stalling !!