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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What lies does your ex tell people about you?

124 replies

Doctordid · 02/02/2018 07:53

I'm evil apparently.
I left him in thousands of pounds worth of debt and about to be evicted.
He tells this to his mates, anyone we jointly know, his family, strangers and the doctor (apparently)

In reality the reason we were in debt is that he kept walking out of jobs lying they had laid him off or leaving because they made him do something he felt beneath him because he wanted to game all day and my wage alone wasn't enough to manage on.

He has been paying £5 a month off in debt.
I have paid thousands off because he's never worked since I left and I have.
I've finished paying off a £££s loan for stuff that is still in his house and he definitely wasn't about to be evicted as housing benefit accidently made a payment of nearly 2k to his landlord after I left and his landlord doesn't have to pay it back but I do.

Funnily his fiance prior to me also left him in debt and 'emptied him out'

His new girlfriend has recently told me she's been told all about me.

Knob

OP posts:

RedTitsMcGinty · 02/02/2018 09:24

That I sexually assaulted him in order to get pregnant. Apparently that left him with massive fears and trauma around sex, aside from marrying me and having sex with me for the next six years, plus his six month affair with the Other Woman. He’s a gaslighting prick and he still tells people he’s terrified of me. This from the man who threw a phone past my had so hard that it left a dent in the wall as it smashed.

RedTitsMcGinty · 02/02/2018 09:25

head*

Original poster

Doctordid · 02/02/2018 09:27

Myddog
What an evil twat.

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 02/02/2018 09:28

Mustbemad, he told her he had lung cancer (he'd had a bad cough, gone straight to the doctors and insisted they send him for scans). He's a 40 a day smoker. He's in his 50s but looks 70. Luckily, I've never had any issues with contact as dd is old enough to sort that for herself. She makes excuses for his behaviour a lot and I try very hard not to bad-mouth him to her. He never paid a penny in maintenance.

I lost quite a few friends when we split, due to his lies, but I'm better off without them.

Shockers · 02/02/2018 09:28

Mine told a mutual friend of his and DH’s to tell DH that I was a ‘psycho’ when he found out that we’d got together.

20 years later, he has begrudgingly told DS that perhaps he and I just weren’t suited, as I seem happy with DH, and he with me .

XH and I get along well now we don’t have to live in the same house!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/02/2018 09:29

I am a compulsive spender (oh the money I have wasted on, er, school shoes and uniform for the children

I bet you were feeding them every day and squandering his hard-earned money of frivolities like toilet paper and washing up liquid as well, you spendthrift harpy. . .

Changedmynameo · 02/02/2018 09:30

He kicked me out for not having an abortion, but told people we amicably decided to break up but remain friends (and no mention of the pregnancy)

YouTheCat · 02/02/2018 09:33

2 months after we got married I became pregnant and he tried to quite aggressively pressure me into having an abortion. Once I found out I was having twins he suddenly was proclaiming himself as some kind of wonder of virility. He never tells anyone about that little nugget of shitty behaviour though.

mustbemad17 · 02/02/2018 09:34

YouTheCat wonder if they are related 🤔 Similar behaviour, altho my ex took his 'survival' story to the local papers as he was doing some charity boxing match - two pages of him rambling on about his kids being the love of his life (he sees one out of three). I can't wait for the day DD is old enough to see him for what he is, but like you even now I don't badmouth him.

It's why I like threads like this, because then I can vent without being accused of poisoning anybody against him 😂😂😂

YouTheCat · 02/02/2018 09:35

I do like a good vent.

barefoofdoctor · 02/02/2018 09:35

Anything that flits through his fucked up head but tbh I've always been rather thrilled to be viewed as the cold and calculating film noir villainess he makes me out to be and am flattered if people have such interest in my life which in reality consists of gardening, sleeping, Asda visits and listening to The Archers mostly conducted with joggers on and greasy unbrushed hair He also gives off a general aura of cuntishness so not sure anyone really listens to/believes him.

Anditstartsagain · 02/02/2018 09:35

Not me but my friends ex tells everyone she chucked him out with 2 bin bags of clothes in reality she found him a flat helped with the deposit (he was working ft as a joiner and she only had tax credits) she gave him bedding and towels and bought him new kitchen wear.

I told her not to bother helping him but she felt she should since he had to leave and start again boy did she regret that.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/02/2018 09:36

their newborn brother had club feet as my punishment for being evil.

mustbemad17 · 02/02/2018 09:43

Schaden that's disgusting 😱😱

BossyBitch · 02/02/2018 09:46

He's in two minds on the matter:

Friends and family get to hear that I'm a cold ambitious monster who left him broken hearted and penniless (the former might be somewhat true, albeit deservedly so - the latter most certainly isn't: he got half my pension, half my savings and a house out of the divorce).

Business contacts get to hear that I'm brilliant and that this is somehow transferred by osmosis or something because one way or another they should definitely hire him as he must be just as brilliant on account of having been married to me. He also likes to use me as a reference without asking. I played nice for a while but now tell callers that I think it's a bit unprofessional to name your ex in this capacity - especially since we last worked together 10 years ago as graduate schemers and long before I acquired my professional standing.

LightDrizzle · 02/02/2018 09:48

My ex told our eldest I was having an affair and that he had sacrificed his career for me etc. and that if it wasn’t for her 10 year old self, he’d commit suicude. All utter bollocks, poisonous, selfish, twat.

Many years ago, there was a rash of my friends’ parents divorcing at the classic life stage of children growing up and the wives gaining independence: doing OU degrees or getting jobs, and realising they had “settled” or gaining strength to leave bad relationships.

It was amazing how their husbands universally identified the one mistake they had all made in their marriage; it was because they’d “treated her like a princess” 😂
A fair few had a crack at shagging my (married) mum by way of consolation. It was a depressing pattern. Luckily they all also found someone else very quickly, but some continued to try and poison their children, my friends, against their mothers for breaking up the family. Most were convinced their wives must have been having an affair.

Iooselipssinkships · 02/02/2018 09:53

That's it's my fault he went to prison for 4 years after being arrested for sexual assault, rape, abh and attempted murder. He says he was trying to kill himself but I 'got in the way' yeah whatever mate. He's one of them that believes his own lies the abusive, scummy prick.

sassymuffin · 02/02/2018 09:55

Youthecat mustbe mad17 - totally forgot to add that my ex played the cancer card also with bladder cancer. He told people he could die including our children.

He did have pre cancereous cells successfully treated. His brother told me everything, he had never had an actual cancer diagnosis and never had chemotherapy. What he had actually done was shave his head and put blood in his urine samples to restart medical investigations when I took him to court for the umpteenth time about selling the house. He also used this story for an unrelated court case.

ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 02/02/2018 09:57

Amen RedPanda2 and
PoorYorick
If I told you the lies that a certain evil sociopath has told about me you wouldn’t believe it. Literal couldn’t make it up stuff. Sadly almost a decade on they actually still continue as does his favourite hobby of trying to retain control via DD. He constantly messes her about, cancels contact hours before, doesn’t want her for Christmas etc - and then tells Facebook etc that I wouldn’t let him have her. Seems to have everyone right where he wants them whilst living off my life savings which the legal system say was “a gift” to him from me(!) and resisting every single penny of CSA calculations for years from his latest mobile phone in a never-ending series of flash new cars. (Yes, self-employed thanks to my money behind him)
Despite all this and the state of our lives now I actually still have sympathy for his current wife...

mustbemad17 · 02/02/2018 09:58

OMG sassymuffin that's beyond shocking 😱 I thought mine was bad, but to stoop to that level, jesus.

windchimesabotage · 02/02/2018 09:59

Oh my god i found out recently that my ex from 5 YEARS AGO still goes around talking bollocks about me. Apparently I told him to kill himself. I also made up loads of rumours about him hitting me because Im unhinged and a compulsive liar.

In reality I told him not to contact me (my actual message in reply to a text he sent was 'please dont contact me' that is literally all ive said to him in the last 5 years) He beat me up pretty constantly when we were together. I think now days most people believe me because hes done it to literally EVERY girlfriend that hes had and so they cant all be unhinged liars can they??

NeedsAsockamnesty · 02/02/2018 10:01

One of mine is brilliant. He likes to tell the whole town that he’s so lovely and doesn’t understand why I have a problem with him,

This is despite him being convicted for arson with intent to endanger life, assult, criminal damage and what ever they called the being held against my will thing that resulted in me getting a life time protection order and he pled guilty.

Aside from the violent criminal stuff he also tried to do away with all my money.

I feel very sorry for his current as he has stolen most of her money to the point where her brother and buisness partner has felt the need to take as many legal steps as he can to protect his company and she has got ill through the torture he inflicts on women

Goingalonenow · 02/02/2018 10:01

I've been left in debt too but he takes great pleasure in telling his parents I wasted all his money. Which was always his, not ours, and I had to beg for. So of course I'm the one who ended up in a mess trying to feed and clothe our child.

It makes me so, so angry. He gets to live in a nice big house and refuse to pay a penny while we're in a tiny flat and I'm working shitty shifts to feed DD.

But yeah, I'm the evil psycho bitch who left him for no reason.

DullAndOld · 02/02/2018 10:01

that I 'prevented him from seeing his children'.

well that is funny, the children and I recall very well the train journey to London, and waiting for him at Clapham Junction/East Croydon, only for him to not turn up. Then I had to take two upset children back to Brighton, while he switched his phone off.

We also recall waiting in the house for hours, with two over excited children while he didn't show up, again turning off his fone. Later he would say that it was me who had let them down , not him, as I shouldn't have told them he was coming.

They are young adults now, and don't bother with him at all. This is my fault, apparently...

whoareyoukidding · 02/02/2018 10:01

My 1st XDH is such a liar that even today I' not sure exactly what he got up to over the years what with all the lying thieving and cheating. But he's ok really, so long as I don't have to be married to him or have any involvement with him apart from the kids.

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